I was adopted in 1959 and it's like pulling teeth to get any medical history.After 20 years of coming across people during the course of my life this far,that knew my birth mother and promised to find out health info and I never hear from them again or I do hear from them and they say that my birth mother swore everyone to secrecy.I find that so silly.I just want to know if I inherited anything healthwise.I'm already dealing with a lot now but this way I could"head it off at the pass"so to speak.I'll never understand all the secrecyI did try Post Adoption Services and they're secrecyI is the same but by law they have to be. When you don't know anything about the people who are related to you,you never feel whole.You stand out like a sore thumb in family pictures,now mind you I had an awesome adoptive family but I never bonded with any of them except my parents.They were all older.I had to get that out....
I guess any advice folks might offer would be country-specific (or even state-specific), Julia. It might help to know where you live. That being said, it seems you're further ahead than 99% of adoptees if you not only know who your birth mother was, but you know some of her acquaintances as well. It at least narrows down the geographic area in which you need to research. This "I was sworn to secrecy" position is a silly thing to tell someone in your position. Your health cannot be compromised by someone else's legacy shame. edit to add: I'm not adopted, but cancer from heavy smoking and drinking took the men in my immediate family in their 50s. I think all of my grandparents died young, as I never met them. I'm pushing 70 and am in unchartered waters as well, but for different reasons.
As for myself, I knew enough about my real dad, who I was only raised around until the age of six, that I didn't want to know anymore about him. IOW, a total alcoholic! I know very little about my families health and that's fine with me. From the time I went in the Navy (1968), I've keep track of all of my health, good and not so good. I have it all on a USB as well as all vitamins, supplements and meds that I take. Doctors and nurses are very impressed when I show them my printed out list! Even though I have all of my surgeries, etc. on that USB, I remember all of them as well.
I guess if one is really worried about heritable diseases, one could look into genetic testing. There are a lot of companies doing this, across a spectrum of quality and costs so it would take a while to properly vet them but it might be the only solution to get an answer.
I’ve “discovered “ allot of relatives by simply getting my DNA done , as I only met my father once when I was 25 yo ( he was shot and killed by a 14 year old over a stolen watch 2 weeks after I met him ) I would have like to asked him ..why did you and my mother get married when you ( my father ) was only 17 years old in 1944 …..I being the eldest was not born till 1946 All of his closest family were all deceased by the time I had DNA done . It showed I had links to Germany and I said …. Rubbish ….but on further research I found my Fathers mother came from Germany …..
Reminded me of a great non-fiction movie with Patty Duke, William Shatner & Melissa Gilbert: "A Family of Strangers." Julie must disclose her family's medical history before undergoing major surgery, but when she questions her family, she discovers that she was adopted; later she learns that she was conceived from rape.
Does someone know which of the many DNA kits are the most accurate.I don't have much disposable income but I could save for one.I just don't know what the best one is.
I have ancestry and 23&me, and here is my opinion about them, @Julia Curtis . Ancestry is the best if you want to research your background ancestors, and they have a great volume of background information to search through. They do also show you dna relatives, but most of their research is family trees. 23&me is more for finding living people you are related to, and I actually think that this would help you more in locating information about your birth parents. If it shows people who are close relatives, like half-siblings or cousins, then you might be able to find out more about your medical family history from them. Also, 23 sends out information about health history studies, that looks at your ancestral dna , and it tells you what you would likely be genetically disposed to have or not have, and they send questionnaires about health questions and traits so that they are always updating this information for people who are interested in medical history. Overall , it would be good to have both, if you want to trace your bloodline back through history, but if you want to know about family you have that is alive right now, I would recommend starting with 23&me. I have found a lot of new relatives that I had no idea existed and can share information with.
I have no personal experience. From some brief searches, it looks like involvement of you doc might offset the cost of some of the tests focussed more on diseases; they appear to be the more expensive tests. Have a look at this review. https://www.verywellhealth.com/best-dna-testing-kits-4171686 The Invitae kit looks like the best option for the money but it requires your doc get involved. My doc has never refused a test I’ve requested so I guess it depends on your particular doc.