Funny Courtroom Exchanges

Discussion in 'Make Me Laugh' started by Tony Page, May 12, 2022 at 7:39 PM.

  1. Tony Page

    Tony Page Very Well-Known Member
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    These are supposed to be actual courtroom exchanges.

    ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
    WITNESS: No..
    ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
     
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  2. Tony Page

    Tony Page Very Well-Known Member
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    LAWYER: Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--
    WITNESS: Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment.
     
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  3. Tony Page

    Tony Page Very Well-Known Member
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    ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
     
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  4. Tony Page

    Tony Page Very Well-Known Member
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    Attorney: 'I'll show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.'

    Witness: 'That’s me.'

    Attorney: 'Were you present when that picture was taken?'”
     
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