I found the obituary of a former neighbor in the the paper today which consisted of but a few short lines. It was just name, where he lived and funeral arrangements. It seems like a life full lived needs more than that. I've seen some that could almost fill a whole page. My mother wrote hers and gave it to me along with a picture for when the day would come. It was just some details of her life that I might have not known about if I had to create one after her death. It was a good send off.
I don't want an obituary, nor a death notice, nor a funeral, nor a wake. I just want to fade out. One consideration for a long obit is that newspapers typically charge by the letter or word... not sure which. My friend's father wrote his own several years ago full of blah, blah, blah and it cost her a couple of thousand bucks in the Houston Chronicle. I thought that was absurd. I think leaving some sort of journal for one's children would be a good thing, though.
I agree with your sentiments completely, @Beth Gallagher , although I imagine my kids might want to do some sort of family gathering for a memorial. My oldest son has designated an area of his property to be used as kind of a family “cemetery”. It is not actually a cemetery, but would be a place to put the ashes of the deceased; so it would not need any kind of official designation like people have to have if they have an actual cemetery on their own property. We are also doing the family stories kind of thing as well. I was writing things in my old Google Blogspot journal, but they changed it so now I can read it but not write in there anymore, for some reason. Anyway, my son has us all using a journal called “Day One” to write down stories we remember about our lives and places we have lived. I have just the basic version and he has the premium one, so when they get it set up for journal sharing, he can merge everyone else’s journals and we can all read the stories and add as we remember things we want to share. After my mom and dad died, and we went though their stuff, there were just so many questions that we wished we could still ask them, but didn’t know to do it when they were still alive. Something like this from my mom would have been wonderful. Instead, we have all of these really old photos, and unless she wrote on the back of them, we have no idea when or where they were taken, and maybe not even of who the photo was. The online shared albums help a lot with that part, so we can label photos as we add them .
Do not weep for me,I will be in the wind blowing to and fro. You on the other hand have all this crap here to deal with
I wasn't gonna comment in this thread, but since others took a cynical turn, I'll fit right in. I think this "Just let me go without fanfare" thing is becoming more common. A friend who was raised here is sort of the local genealogist. Folks call from all over tracking their ancestors, mostly because--as a colony--Virginia was a common point of arrival for the Europeans. He has noticed that deaths often don't even make the obits these days, and word does not "get around" like it used to. Another friend's wife passed and he did not even have a memorial service for her (pre-COVID.) He had her cremated and at some point in the future he and his two out-of-state daughters were to get together for something private and informal. I don't plan on having services, but I don't have kids, nor do I have any relatives I am close to. I want to have my ashes scattered on my property. On the flip side, I live in the predominately black part of the county, and have been to a few funerals since I moved here (white folk and black folk.) The funerals for the country black folk are quite the celebration of life and of a "Home Going." The funeral home that most black folks use is in the next county over, in an old house in a residential section. You go inside and walk maybe 4-5 steps down into what must be a converted root cellar. There is an open casket and up-beat club music playing. Services are happy and upbeat and full of stories and memories of a life lived and of what's to come. There is responsive singing of life-affirming hymns. I walk out of those services thinking "This is the way to go." I hope it never goes away.
Like you, I have no family @John Brunner but I have a few friends that would love a wake with some good music But I don't live close to any of my long-time friends, so, I'll just let my ashes land where they may. That way anyone that remembers me might say, when it rains, snows, or when the wind blows, "here comes Denise again, batten down the hatches"!!
Both of us have a computer written thing, that we each done, about our life, that is part of Neptune Society. Cremation, very nice box for ashes and a burial site with my wife's son who died of cancer at age 16 and wife's mom. No funeral for either of us. My wife's brother will have it the same way and box put in the same place.
You remind me of a comedian (Mitch Hedberg) who wanted to divide his ashes among his friends to be thrown in the faces of those he disliked: "Mitch says Hi!" *ah-CHOO*
LOL, oh man, that's really nasty! You ever see the Frasier episode where they "the boys" had their mean, old Aunt's ashes?? I'd put a clip of it but I don't see one. Niles can't get the urn open to scatter her in the woods, so Frasier tells him what a loser he is, of course, and then opens it alright, dumping in all over himself, lol!