Let Me Know When You Raise Your Rates

Most of you should remember the years after the Bell Telephone monopoly was broken up, and we had dozens of telephone companies trying to encourage us to try their plan rather than the one we were on.

I was using AT&T, and I received a call from someone from MCI, offering a bonus if I would switch over to the MCI plan. I don't remember the exact words but it went something like this.

"May I ask you which telephone company you are with right now?"

"Yes."

:: pause ::

"Are you there?"

"Yes, I was just waiting for you to ask me which telephone company I was using."

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all."

:: pause ::

"Can you tell me which company you are currently using?"

"Certainly."

:: pause ::

Sensing that he was never going to be able to work his way out of that rut, I decided to give him a break, and told him that I was using AT&T.

"What rates are you paying for your service with AT&T?"

I told him. He then asked about my night rate, and the rate that I was paying for long distance calls after midnight, and I told him.

"MCI can offer you better daytime and evening rates, as well as free long distance after midnight on weekends." He then told me what MCI's rates were.

"That's interesting. Have them give me a call."

"I am calling representing MCI and if you would like to sign up with our service today, we will take care of switching your phone service over, and we will give you a one hundred dollar bonus."

"Are you desperate?"

"No sir, these are our regular rates."

"If those are your regular rates, why do I have to decide right now?"

"You don't, but in order to qualify for the sign-up bonus, we would have to have your order today."

"Okay, let me see if I have this right. AT&T is charging me 50 cents a minute during the day, 40 cents after 7 pm, and 25 cents after midnight, and MCI is offering the same service for 40 cents during the day, 30 cents at night, and free long distance after midnight on weekends. Is that right?"

"Yes sir, may we sign you up then?"

"Does MCI offer the same level of service as AT&T?"

"MCI offers a better service than AT&T, and we can give you better rates."

"How can you offer a better service? I mean, I pick up the phone, dial a number, and I am connected to someone on the other end. Are you going to come put in new, better telephone lines or what?"

He said something about MCI's customer service. I told him that I wouldn't be calling customer service unless I dialed a number and was unable to be connected to the person on the other end, and by then I'd be angry anyhow.

"Should we sign you up then?"

"No, I don't think so. My father always told me that you get what you pay for and, since AT&T is charging me a lot more than MCI would, I think I'll stick with the best."

"It doesn't work that way..."

"No, I'm sorry. But if you ever decide to raise your rates, please do give me a call."

:: click ::

 

I am bumping this because most of you haven't read it, given that it was posted in 2015. Since I still laugh about it, I wouldn't want to deprive you. I did something similar with someone who called about pre-paid funeral services. I told him that I was so glad that he had called because I was thinking about killing myself, and the only thing preventing me from doing so was that I didn't want to leave my family with the funeral expenses. He was sorry that he called. Back when you couldn't block spam calls, the only thing you could do was to be frustrated or to have fun with them.

 

When I was a kid and we'd get these calls, my mother would just hand me the phone. She really should not have encouraged that aspect of my personality. I recall a carpet salesguy who said" I have solids, stripes and plaids," to which my 12 year old smart mouth replied "Then you better see a doctor."

These days, unless the telemarketer is an idiot, I kinda feel sorry for people who have reached a place in their lives where they're doing that for a living.

 

Thanks, Louise.

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