Generally speaking, I don’t like to loan things and I dislike having to borrow anything or even to accept something that someone voluntarily wants to let me use. It’s kind of a quirk, or maybe it’s also my sense of 1) not wanting to be obligated to the other person or 2) fear I won’t get the item back. There have been exceptions, but those exceptions are very, very rare. It’s better to be self-sufficient and to also learn how to politely say “no”. Back in the day it was common to borrow/loan things among neighbors. (cup of sugar, milk, coffee, detergent, an onion, etc.) Of course, back then neighbors were more friendly and bonds were closer. Understand , I’m not stingy. But I’d rather give something with no expectation or even discussion abut returning it. And frankly, I can’t remember the last time I “borrowed” anything – other than asking to use someone’s pen or scissors. Thoughts?
The last time I remember borrowing anything was as a "homemaker", and it was probably eggs or something like that. If I did borrow something like an egg, I would return a dozen. Also only borrowed if it was my only choice...stores were closed, etc. I have no problem with someone borrowing anything from me, in fact I'm happy if I can help someone out. I don't expect repayment either. I'm a generous soul.
Same as me ...I've never been a borrower..except for the most minor things and then they're given straight back...however I've always been a sucker for a sob story and I used to lend things all the time, very rarely if ever ever had them returned. I was a very young naval wife with a young child and living in Married quarters in a little cul-de-sac of about 10 houses..all our husband were at sea for up to 7 months at a time, and they were all earning pretty much the same wage..so we at home wives weren't any better off than the next one basically. However there was this one neighbour and every day she would send on of her kids up to my house and ask if she could 'borrow' a couple of eggs/bacon/ tin of beans. loaf of bread/ ..then send them to the next house and ask if they could spare a few sausages ..and on it would go around the houses until all the neighbours had supplied every part of every meal she ever cooked...and she'd also ask them for cigarettes and even if they could ''spare' some beer! Enough eventually became enough when on one evening alone she sent the kids up to ask for 3 separate items in the space of an hour!! ...I got the courage up to say No, and don't ask again..because I can't afford to keep you and your family...and although she tried another couple of times, I still stuck to my resolve and never leant to her again!! That said, even to this day altho' I never borrow from anyone, if someone is in need and I have it to give they can have it with pleasure, but not if I think they're taking me for a sucker!!
As I grew up I watched people get mad at each other, and relationships seemed to fall apart. All over loaning money, and problems in paying the loans back. To me it is just stuff and money, not that I've ever been rich monetarily. People have good intentions, but they forget to set up backup plans to cover contingencies. So I made the decision that when and if I was able to loan anything or money I would think of it as a gift. So when I loan money I never expect to see it again, and so if I do recieve anything back, I look at it as a gift as well.
Loaning and borrowing cannot be avoided. How can I refuse to lend money when my sister is badly in need? I'm sure most of you would feel the same way. But on the other hand, it is not a good habit to be borrowing money. There are people I know who do not think of tomorrow, so to speak. If they have the urge to spend and they have no cash, they would resort to borrowing. That happened to my sister when she had a credit card. She went on a shopping spree unminful of the consequences until she wasn't unable to pay her credit card arrears and was penalized heavily.
"Neither a borrower or a lender be....." Stores used to be open from 8 to 5, six days/week. We were, for the most part, a rural nation with people living "a day's ride" from town. Neighbors banded together to help each other with planting, harvest, barn raising, etc. One would borrow sugar. Another would borrow flour. Today, we are a much more urban society. Stores are open 24/7/365. People have credit cards. If someone wants to "borrow" something today... they really are asking you to give it to them. Otherwise, running down to the closest WalMart or convenience store would be easiest.
This may be a segue. I just want to tell this story of a former colleague named Caloy. He became manager ahead of me and his finances looked good because he was able to build a nice house in a good village. About 3 years ago, he resigned from his job due to pressure of work. I even tried to console him but he was bent on resigning. He opened a gas station. And maybe because of pride, he did everything to pursue that business - a gas station needs a capital of at least 5 million pesos, that's more than $100,000. The other day, I was talking to another colleague who told me that Caloy had been borrowing money from him. Maybe Caloy is having a problem with his cash flow. It was several times already that he borrowed money and he pays. But this last time, my colleague denied him because she said Caloy seems to be in the dumps. Well?
When it comes to money, generally speaking I agree that it should not be loaned – that it should only be given if/when one can afford to do so. Then if you get all or some of it back, it’s a nice surprise. Hey, for those who have the resources and want to give money to others for whatever reason(s), fine. That’s their choice. But whether someone (even a relative or good friend) is “in need” is open to interpretation. If someone is a spendthrift and fritters away their money they might be “in need” of money to pay rent or buy food, but I don’t see where others are responsible for solving their problems. OTOH if someone is trying to be responsible with their own money, not repeatedly asking others to bail them out but they’re struggling and their car broke down or they’re facing utility shutoff, I see nothing wrong with helping them out once as long as it doesn’t put me in a bind. I'd also expect the person to look into othre avenues to get assistance.