Lord, please don't let me become an old grouch. Those are words that have been a part of my daily prayers for years. I mean, really, who ever would want to become all soured up, ill tempered and hard to be around? Anyway, our pastor is in his mid forties now and in the past few years you can tell he's been thinking a lot about aging by things he says in his sermons. Sometimes he's quite funny about it as he compares himself to the oldest person in the congregation, who is in his late eighties and at seventy-nine was telling us all that he was just "getting broke in good". Recently, the pastor started talking about including in his prayers the same thing that has been in mine for so long. Lord, please don't let me become and old grouch. The first time he said it I think I was really surprised. I guess I hadn't thought about those particular words being a part of anyone else's daily prayers. Judging from the number of "amens" throughout the church it seems that there are quite a few of us around and I think that's a very good thing to know. Quite cheerful.
That was a great prayer for all of us Allie! As you know (I think), I live in Thailand and do have some older friends (make that acquaintances) and for the most part they needed that prayer years ago. It seems as if all they want to do is complain and feel sorry about themselves! Not this 69 kid! Everyday of life I am granted is a new adventure and bound to be pleasant! Even on those odd days when I am not feeling too well, I just look at the mirror for a few minutes and I have to laugh at the old man staring back at me!
lol...Even though you are in Thailand and I'm not I feel we must have met some of the same acquaintances. That's actually how I got started on that particular prayer. I can't count the times I've pasted on a smile until I could "escape" the company of some old sourpuss, only to really smile, breath a sigh of relief and say, "Mercy. I hope I don't ever get like that." I can understand people being not their most congenial selves when they are in severe pain or are going through some crisis or other; but just to be a day to day pain on the behind is so undesirable a trait I feel the need to protect myself against it. So much so that I have no trouble enlisting the help of the almighty. I'm sure that's how people who do still maintain that certain sweetness and zest for life during their much less than better times are able to do it; and, by golly, I want joy till the end.
At times when I am stuck with one of those people and can't make a quick escape, I always ask myself, "What am I doing here!" As a Buddhist, I am suppose to be compassionate, but sometimes my compassion is shown by not giving the person a quick kick in the butt!
I definitely get what you're saying. I really am scared of becoming a bitter old man, who is behind with technology and not getting along well with the youth. I don't want to necessarily be "cool", I just want to be considered fun to be around.
Hi John! I guess I have a bit of an edge as in Thailand, being a senior (69 years) brings respect so the majority of my friends are in the 20 - 40 range and that definitely keeps me going. Even kids...yesterday afternoon I was having a beer in a local store and was sitting at a concrete table that had a checkerboard layout. All of a sudden a little guy about 9 or 10 dumped a bunch of soda bottle caps on the table and before long we were playing checkers. After losing two times, I told him my Mom was calling. I had no idea the boy spoke English, but he sure did laugh a lot at my statement. Just enjoy life, John, smile and you will never be a bitter old man!
I think one of things that can keep you from becoming an old grouch is to laugh at yourself as often as possible. Laughing at yourself will keep joy in your heart which will not let you get too grouchy. Thanks for reminding us to be grateful and more lighthearted.
lol...I agree! We're all supposed to be compassionate, I believe. And sometimes that compassion does tend to be in the form of patience in the company of those who try it.
I agree 100%. If you look hard enough, you can almost always find the humor in any situation. And being able and willing to laugh at yourself, you diminish the bad situation. Plus, you may make someone else laugh who is going through a tough time, too. Life is way too serious to be taken seriously - good humor goes a long way to a fun, adventurous life. As for dealing with the grumpy ones - sometimes they are just lonely and unhappy and looking for a little company. They can be hard to deal with, but you never know - your talking with them and listening may actually make their day.
I remember having to deal with this older person who was mean and unpleasant to be with. I was tried and really did not want to be with this woman but there was no way I could get out of it so I decided I would say yes to every complaint she had and not pay attention to her. She went on and on and finally I had enough, I remember looking at her and I started to laugh, oh my God I laughed in her face, boy was she mad. I just kept laughing the more she fused at me the more I laughed. Finally she said honey I don't blame you I would laugh at me to acting the way I do. I was a teenager at the time. My sense of humor is a little off at time. The two of us got along fine after that.
I think the only thing that could be worse then becoming a foul tempered person is becoming a person that no longer feels anything at all. Life can be hard and I have always felt like over all people are the sum total of all of their experiences. Sometimes these experiences are not very good at all. Life isn't always fair and not everyone can be fortunate all the time. I think we have more of a choice when it comes to being mean then we do when we just stop feeling. I met this lady who had stopped feeling, she was just mechanical in everything she did. The woman we both worked for at the time was a highly critical religious woman who felt like she was pious and better then everyone around her because she was more devoted to church. It was just awful how she treated this other woman, she literally would make her jump through hoops and made every work day unpleasant. But this lady never complained she just did it. She never said a mean thing back, but she also never smiled and seemed to have no ambition or anything. Just went through the motions everyday. I made up my mind I didn't want that to be me. I found a new job.
Jenn, you are so right some people seem to be alive on the outside but died on the inside and take no joy in their lives. That lady may have been treated that way all her life and didn't know how to tell another person to stop abusing her. They are not crumpy they are just here waiting for their checkout time. Which is sad because life is what you make it. You don't have to have a lot of money to be happy, it is not the things you have or don't have that should be used to determine how happy you are goind to allow yourself to be.
Oh, I say I don't ever want to become an old grouch. And I don't! Ever! But I actually deal well with being around pretty much anyone. I've always like jobs that took me outside. I worked for several years taking care of the grounds and doing other odd jobs at an apartment complex I lived in. There was one lady there who got along with no one. Except me, for some unknown reason. Anyway, every time she had a problem the manager would send me over anyone else, saying, "Miz Scarlett wants...whatever." Miz Scarlett had me over for dinner several times and was constantly trying to match me up with someone in her family. When I worked in my sister in law's flower shop it was the same story. I liked delivering, so that's what I did mostly. A lot of the customers were long time customers whom everyone in the shop had dealt with. My sister in law and the others in the shop quickly found out I could "charm the devil" and sent me on all their "bad calls". I remember one lady in particular that was pretty bad to them, I guess. She was bad enough to be one of the ones they warned me about. Anyway she lives in a beautiful old southern plantation house and would always call my sister in law's flower shop when she needed flowers to decorate for some function or other that she would have. The first time I went out there everyone said I wouldn't be able to charm her. That she was positively un-charmable and not to worry when she sent the first batch of flowers back because that's what she always did regardless. They said she'd make you carry all the arrangements in and set them up and then she'd look at them and say they weren't exactly what she wanted and make you pack them up and take them back for a redo. They couldn't believe it when I walked back in with no flowers. The lady seemed fine to me. She even showed me a good part of the rest of her beautiful home and seemed not to want me to leave. So, of course, she was my charge forever after that. Beats me what it is, but my husband says there is nobody who doesn't like me and that whatever it is, it's the same thing that calms horses and makes them listen to me like they think they're supposed to. Which, of course, they are. Maybe I just don't pay enough attention to what people are saying to get too bothered? About the worst I ever think is, Lord, I don't want to be like that. I want to spend my time in a grateful frame of mind, content to be where I am even if I'm not crazy about the circumstance. I really can't think of a greater blessing.
@Allie Seay, I know what you mean. I, too, am that person - the one that gets along with just about everyone. I remember my first real job. I was a programmer, and at the time, there were some really strange people in programming. There was one guy, who whenever he walked into the room, everyone else would get up and leave. But I really like him. Yes, he was a little weird and strange, but that just made him interesting. Another time, we moved into a new place and I was talking to the lady at the bank and told her where we'd moved. She was horrified, "Oh no, you must live right next to Bill" She then proceeded to tell me how difficult he was and what an old curmudgeon he was. I actually had 3 or 4 people tell me the same thing. I was kind of afraid to meet him! But he turned out to be the nicest man. He was opinionated and strong willed. He didn't suffer fools easily. But, when treated with respect and kindness he was actually really sweet. I remember one time, he came over after a big snow storm, with his snow blower and cleared our sidewalk and driveway before we'd even gotten up that morning.
Get Off My Lawn You Idiot!! No,....it's just doesn't seem to fit for some reason. Actually, I kind of like old grouches. I can never see me being one, but I really like them. Earlier this week we went to the most dreaded of all places to go.....Walmart!! Beyond the greeter and the cashiers, the place has this huge infestation of frowns and shoppers cart rage. You know, the guys and gals who have to get through when 2 or 3 shoppers are having a tea party in the middle of an aisle? What is interesting about it is the person wanting to get through can't because they have a cart that won't fit between the partiers. Now, is the good part. You walk up behind someone who is ready to explode and merely say something like, "I'm sure you would be welcome to join their party if you just ask." You get the weirdest looks from the conversationists and always a smile from the cart rage person. Give me a point for: One more heart attack averted! Walmart and places like that are always good places to have fun and save the grouchy. Another example of store salvations are the old wives tales. When you see someone with a deep frown on their face, you tell them that their face might break if they don't smile a little. Or, one of the best, "didn't your mama tell you that your face might stay that way if you frown long enough?" If, perchance you are a little inexperienced at making extrovert-ish comments because you might possibly be an introvert makes this even better. DO IT! It is such a great rush when you see that smile come through. And, it's Fun! And the payoff is that you cannot be unhappy or grouchy either. Starting is like doing situps. It does take a bit of self coaxing, but go into that uncharted territory, in spite of the fear, and see what happens! To get serious for a second. "This is the day the Lord hath made, let us(I shall) rejoice and be glad in it!" (Psa. 118;24) No matter what the problem is, what the weather is or who is walking on your lawn, we can say this simple line out loud and for all to hear and I am absolutely sure, no one will be grouchy around you any longer, or especially.........you! That repeated verse my friends, makes being grouchy absolutely impossible.