This, I think, I would quite like as an epitaph. Of course, being an epitaph, it would mean that I was already dead, but hopefully I wouldn't be going to the incinerator pondering on what might have been. I've packed in three well-paid jobs in my lifetime. Well, two and a half, maybe. The first was to go back into further education. The second was to go and do voluntary work in Africa for two years. The third was to take early retirement and write a couple of books. True, on each occasion, I questioned my sanity, but I've not regretted doing any of these things. I may be financially poorer as a result, but I feel richer in terms of experience. If I do die wondering, it won't be about much and that's how I want it.
I regret to have abandoned my first job working an editorial house, job that I took just to buy a vinyl record that my father say I should buy rather than asking him for money as I always used to do, but I would learned much more on an activity that truly was passionate and if I would only heard my dad's advice to find a job and stay there for as long as possible with future retirement in mind, maybe I shouldn't worry about tomorrow today. Even though, I don't regret for all those years that rather than working seriously, I was simply wandering around the city because I earned an experience that today is invaluable to me, and also contributed to find a way to make money without engagements or commitments. This is how I started a small home-based business that evolved through the time. Even today, I have tried to find a real job from time to time, only succeeding to work for short periods of time because I have made myself a person that stands out of the standards that prefers have little money that feel tied up to so-called established pathways I always refused to follow.
I would rather try something and discover that is is not for me than be left wondering if it would every have worked out. I like to think that if I'm in a situation where I'm not happy or feeling fulfilled I'm always ready to make a change and accept a new challenge. I've had several changes of career, lived in several different cities and had several different long term relationships. I don't regret any of the moves I've made, even though some of them turned out not to be right for me. I never want something to remain only a dream if there is some way of making it happen and I don't waste my time dreaming of things that could not possibly happen.
Because of my restless nature, I've tried many jobs and lived in a number of places. The end result being, I have no money but a wealth of experiences.
My last job was working for a government department in the Civil Service here in the UK. There were times when I found the experience profoundly depressing. There were plenty of good and interesting people, but also a lot of people for whom this would be their only job. They had left school at 16 or 18 and would be in the department until they retired. These people also tended to go to the same place on holiday every single year and have all the same habits and customs that they'd had 30 or 40 years ago. I suppose that it takes all sorts to make a world, but that kind of existence is total anathema to me,
I used to think of failures and lost opportunities. But when I got to that bracket called middle age, I began to learn how to appreciate life. And when we converse about the past, we would often talk about the good memories and not the bad ones. That is a healthy approach to midlife since there is no such thing as a perfect life. And I also believe that having experienced that experience is always worth it.
Your story, is very interesting, Carlota ! Do you remember the name of the vinyl record that you wanted to buy, and did you buy it?
One thing that you discover is that there is value in making mistakes, with the caveat that you learn from them. The trick is not to keep making the same mistakes again - always see if you can find a new mistake to make.
Hmm, good idea. I would not like to die wondering either. In my life I did as I wished and had everything I need and want. Now that I'm older, I don't regret much nor wonder. Never did anything I regret. Lived a quiet & helpful life to the world, I believe. Only a few things I wonder about though, you see I never had a chance to be a mother. My dear friend gave me a wonderful chance to experience motherhood with older children and it was so nice, that I get very angry at times about the part of my life not getting married and having children. I blame being victimized by id theft for it and I'll never drop charges! Most of it has stopped, except for the internet invaders making computer use very hard at times. That is one thing I wonder about, not being a parent and not making my parents grandparents. I get sad and cry about it at times, yet I know there is nothing I can do about it. Oh well, best to forgive and move on. You're right never die wondering. I at least was nearly a Mom and I'll never forget the feeling. World's great with good friends and family.
You're so sweet @Krissttina Isobe . Have you ever thought about volunteering in a hospital to rock babies, or to watch a church nursery, or to teach children something fun like flower arranging, or making leis and shell necklaces/bracelets, or arts/crafts/pottery, or cooking. You might find that you will develop close relationships with the children and their parents and that will become almost like family. You're still young and vibrant and, oh that aura of sunshine you possess! Your beautiful smile and warm heart radiate.
I had very few regrets until I turned about 60 when regrets began to seep in and multiply because with age comes wisdom and with wisdom comes the realization that there were better choices I could have made. But here's the thing…God created us to have choices, so from the beginning of time we ALL risked making wrong choices daily. So I realized I'm not alone…it's part of life. And how I was created is what it is. The existence of evil is not my fault (except for Adam eating that darned apple). What is my fault is making some wrong choices and I paid the price with natural consequences. Done. And what I didnt pay, I believe by faith that my Savior paid. It happens to all of us. All I can do now, moving forward, is be kind to others, be fair to others, love and reach out to others, help others, do what I know is pleasing to our creator, and take care of my planet Earth. I did a painting of this quote: "I have come to terms with the future. From this day onward I will walk easy on the earth. Plant trees. Kill no living things. Live in harmony with all creatures. I will restore the earth where I am. Use no more of its resources than I need. And listen, listen to what it is telling me." - M.J. Slim Hooey .
Yesterday, is never going to return to kick or kiss us again, and tomorrow will never arrive to fix everything. We only get to live in today. It is the only arena, in which we can live. Each day, is like a single brush stroke, applied with confidence, knowing that the finished painting, will be the real me. I am content with that.