Hello. I have just joined and see some interesting forums. I would like to check out. My immediate concern is some input on moving on. I am 70 years old, happily married and in pretty good health. I have always been active and did everything with gusto. I love to cook, socialize and travel. Our children and grandchildren are the center of our lives and my home is my sanctuary. I'm starting to slow down. It's nothing medical, just that I can't do what I used to-I don't have the energy. I'm having a hard time accepting that because all that activity is what I like to do. My children would have no probems helping with hosting holidays etc. But the thought of letting go makes me sad. I could use some help with this transition. I know it's natural and the time is soon. How have others made peace with this?
In find new, slower things to replace the things I've let go. For example photography has replaced the more physical shop work I used to do. Cooking has replaced the more difficult yard and mechanical work. Perhaps the key to finding happiness in these changes can be learning to do new, less taxing but more interesting things. I find learning to do new things seems to help me keep young in mind and spirit, if not body. There are a few really old things I still cling to but just do less of (e.g., riding motorcycles for 65 years) and for shorter durations. Anyway, that's been my approach to your issue. May you find yours!
Hello Connie and welcome. I think it's always kind of a shock to us when we discover we just can't keep up with some things like we used to. I had an illness last year that really took the wind out of my sails but I'm slowly learning my "new normal." I sometimes get frustrated by things since I am impatient by nature, but I'm learning to let go of some things and let others handle them.
Although I am far from wealthy, I hire people to do things that I used to do for myself, such as shoveling the snow off the roof. Every winter, I tell myself that there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to get up there and do that for myself, as I did only a few years ago, but when it comes to getting up there, I worry about falling. Also, while there was a time when I held four jobs at the same time and would work every day but Sunday, and sometimes on Sundays, now when I have a scheduled doctor's appointment in the afternoon, I pretty much consider my day to be filled.
Thanks for all the thoughts. I guess I have to let go little by little- baby steps. I want to be able to look back with happy thoughts and not sad that those days are over.
I think that we all look back at things we can no longer do, and feel sad. I used to be a regular outdoors person, riding my horse on the backcountry trails, fishing, and just doing outside stuff. I still watch the youtube videos of gaited horses for sale, even though I know I will never own or ride one again. How I cope is to try to be glad for the things that I am still able to do, rather than feel sad for the things that I miss. I am still in so much better health than some people are, and I am really thankful that I can still walk, swim at the fitness center, and garden in the summertime. Also, Welcome to the forum, @Connie Benton ! We have an introduction section as a sub forum under News and Announcements, if you would like to introduce yourself a little bit more. I am a greeter here, so if I can help you with anything getting used to the forum, I am glad to help out.
To add to what was mentioned, I think a part of not doing what we used to do is that it's a case of been there; done that. It could be we could use a change from what we did our entire lives. Welcome.
This is pretty much what I came here to say. While I mourn the "what was," I also try to remind myself to be grateful for having had it in the first place. And there are still plenty of things we can do, not only physically but from a general capability perspective. You might also see if a little gentle exercise like walking keeps your energy level up (he said to himself.)
Let's hope you can get to a point where looking forward is both more interesting and enjoyable than looking back, Connie. At that point you will have made the best possible adjustment. It can happen.