Personal Attacks

Discussion in 'Notices & Announcements' started by Ken Anderson, Dec 11, 2018.

  1. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Supreme Member
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    Precisely!!!
     
    #46
  2. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    A good practice, I think, is to assume that the person addressing you does not mean to attack you, to insult you, or to be rude. Re-read the post with these assumptions in place, and determine whether the post still makes sense. Could it have been a joke? Might it have been meant as a light-hearted tease? Could s/he have been simply trying to delve further into the issue, or playing the devil's advocate? Is it possible that the other forum member simply doesn't have a good command of the language or doesn't express him/herself well? Could you have misunderstood what was said?

    I am not suggesting that no one ever intends to make a personal attack against another forum member or that someone might not actually be intending to anger you, just that it's a good idea to consider whether or not this is truly the case before assuming that it was a personal attack or an intended insult. In other words, give the other person the benefit of the doubt where there is doubt.

    When someone has been on the forum for a long time, we might come to feel as if we know them well enough to tease or to make light-hearted jabs, intended in fun, only to find that the comment is not taken that way. That's happened to me more than once, so I know that can happen, resulting in someone who I liked, and never intended to insult, being angry with me. At the same time, some people hide intended insults in the form of a jest, so I can see how it can happen.

    Also, sometimes we come to identify so closely with a topic or position that is under discussion that we feel personally insulted when someone attacks the topic. Yet if we were all to agree to agree on every issue, that would make for some pretty hollow discussions and I know that I wouldn't be interested in taking part. Consider whether the person is really attacking you or attacking the position you're taking in the thread.

    When you come across a reply that you take to be an insult or a personal attack against you, consider whether that interpretation of the post would be typical of the person who is making it. If it surprises you that this person would suddenly attack you, there's a better chance that you're misinterpreting what was said than if it's coming from someone who makes a habit of being disagreeable in a personal way.

    These are just a few things to consider, and I'm not offering them as someone who is above all that because it is easy to misunderstand and to be misunderstood in a forum discussion. We're missing all of the visual clues that we usually depend on. Then again, with the masks, we'll probably see more of that in person too.
     
    #47
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  3. Ed Wilson

    Ed Wilson Veteran Member
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    Smilies should clarify a poster's intent.
     
    #48
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  4. Admin

    Admin Forum Administrator
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    Please REPORT personal attacks using the Report feature. While it may be commendable to come to the defense of a fellow forum member, it simply makes it more difficult for a moderator to remove the personal attacks because we now have to remove all of the references to the personal attack. We cannot man the forum 24/7, and the outcomes may not always be what you wish, but we will deal with issues that have been reported to us. Thanks.
     
    #49

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