We know the guy, who is 46, that works at the local restaurant where we go for breakfast. He helps clean tables, sweeps the floor and sits people. Very nice guy and we have talked to him numerous times. He is a very nice Black dude. Last Saturday AM, we went there for breakfast and while waiting for a table, he said he had something important to ask us later. I was playing a few tunes on the Juke Box and he walked over and started talking to me about him being a Christian and how he trusted us to ask us this question. I walked back to my table and told my wife, "something going on with him". Anyway, after we ate and paid the bill, he said "let's go outside a second." While outside, he told us that he was living in a house downtown, but it went into Foreclosure and he has to move out. I immediately looked a him and said "if this is about letting you stay with us, have to tell you no." He said, "no, not that, but, I found a room at a motel down the street and was wondering if you could get it for me for a night. It would be $45." He didn't mention a word about paying us back! He said "I only work at this restaurant part-time, and the manager is gone for the weekend, so I can't ask him for an advance on his paycheck." Then he said, "I just graduated from Nursing School and don't have much money." Now, my wife, the way she is, started to ask him something and I immediately interrupted and said "sorry, we just can't do this. We don't know you, other than when we come here. Nope, sorry guy, it just isn't going to happen." Seemed like he continued to try and convince us to get this room for him, but one of the customers came outside and told him that the waitresses needed him inside. He pretty much accepted our answer, but seemed sort of shocked that we wouldn't do this deed for him. As we drove to our next destination, I told my wife how really shocked I was that he even asked us this. He did tell us that he has no relatives living in the State, but I told my wife "why doesn't he call them and ask them?" I told her, "now I know why he wanted to go outside where none of his co-workers could hear him ask this. If they were to hear him, or know that he asked, one of them would tell the manager and Leon might just lose his job." I also told her, "I'd send money to a family member, if they needed it, but we don't even know him, except for at the restaurant." Now my wife's not sure if she even wants to go back to that restaurant again. She told me that she has lost some respect and friendship towards him. Unfortunately, we've gone there so many times, we know the cooks and all of the waitresses. When we sit down, they know exactly what we want for breakfast. What do you think about what happened?
I would go back and act like this didn't take place at all It would be a shame for him to lose that job, even though he shouldn't have asked you - he may have been desperate and now regrets it Cody, go back as usual and act as usual
My question is how will he afford the other nights or does he have somewhere to stay after one night? You don't say how old he is but if he just graduated from nursing school, he's got to have a few friends where he can spend a few nights. Young people see no problem in having someone sleep on their couch for a few days. I need more info to know what I would do. If I knew him well enough and knew his story was true, I would have helped him but told him I'm not rich and can help you this once but no more.
I can understand not wanting to go back but, since you like the restaurant otherwise, it would make sense to go back and to simply ignore this exchange. I have someone on my friends list on Facebook who I don't know personally, or don't remember having met, but who is friends with several other people that I knew while living in the Rio Grande Valley of Texas. We agree on things politically but, from time to time, I'll get a private message from him telling me that he has some great need coming up, and can I lend him $25. I'm hardly rich, but $25 wouldn't kill me, yet I don't know this guy or, if I do, I barely know him, and I have a hard time understanding how someone can bring themselves to ask such a thing of people. It's been quite some time now, but I've borrowed money from some of my brothers before, but I've paid them back, and have lent money to my brothers, so that's more of a reciprocal thing but, even then, I was uncomfortable asking. I guess desperation will lead people to do things they are uncomfortable doing, and I'm thankful that this isn't something that I have had to do. Then I think of the people who stand on the traffic islands holding signs asking for money, realizing that many of them are not in need of it. I have a friend who is a manager of a Walmart store. Someone regularly sits at the entrance to Walmart holding a begging sign, so he had this picture taken once. He knows the guy, and knows that he wouldn't take a job if it were offered to him.
Don't know. Didn't talk about that. However, my wife did wanted to leave real quick. Didn't know how he would handle the words, "sorry, no".
Now my paranoid mind is thinking if that was asked of me and I said NO and really not knowing this person too well, I'd be afraid to eat there anymore not because it's uncomfortable but because he might spit in my food. I've watched too many shows with what goes on in some places.
I told my wife that I'd much rather give (not loan) $45 to her sister at Christmas. After all, she is family. She is also unemployed and somewhat mentally sick. She does get money from SSD that my wife's sister handles for her. As for myself, I have to REALLY know a person.
He never serves the food, only a Greeter, sweeps the floor and sits people at a table. We have to give it some real thought about going back. IOW, have to be smart about our decision.
Houses are NOT repossesed overnight, and it usually takes months before a person is finally forced out of their home by the police. So, this is not something tragic that just happened to this guy, @Cody Fousnaugh . If they are actually at the point where law enforcement is going to come and kick him out of the house, then he has to have known for sometime that this day was coming, and should have had ample time to prepare for it. Also, since he obviously knew that you and your wife are Christians, he probably figured that you would be an easy choice to help fund what ever it is that he actually wants the money for. There are a lot of people that will say they are Christians and need help, just to play on another Christian's generosity, unfortunately. Paying for a night in a motel is not going to help, even if he is being forced out of his house. What happens the next day, and the next ? I am pretty sure that this is some kind of a scam, and probably one that he uses on other customers besides you. As to whether you should go back again or not, that is something that only you can decide, since you both know your heartfelt feelings about returning to the restaurant. If you do go back and he starts asking you for money again, offer to take him down to the rescue mission. I would also have a private little talk with the owner or manager of the restaurant, because I am sure they do not want to lose their regular customers due to this guys impositions on people. Also........ If he has already graduated from nursing school, one wonders why he is only working part-time at a restaurant instead of in some job where he would be using the nurse's training skills ?
I'd have to be able to know them well enough to believe the story, either way I'm out $45 but don't like being used. I'm generous, so I tend to give easily but I'm not a sucker.
@Yvonne Smith , you are right about the story, it doesn't add up but I'd be afraid to tell his employer because if he gets fired he may go after you....crazy world.
If he only works part-time, it should be easy to talk to the employer when the greeter is not there. PLus, I would guess that he has been asking other people for money as well, and maybe does that all of the time. Therefore, he would not know who had talked to the employer, and I am sure that the owner would not tell him who reported him panhandling for money while he was supposed to be working. They may be losing other customers because of this guys actions, so the responsible thing to do would be to alert the employer. It is not unlike the panhandlers who sometimes lurk outside of businesses and restaurants and ask for money or cigarettes. It deters shoppers, and the owner needs to be alerted to the problem. There is a guy who lives down the street from us, and he is always telling Bobby some story or other why he desperately needs $20 right away. Once (he had probably just been to the food bank), he showed up at the door with some summer squash to give us, and then started the needing money routine, thinking that if he gave us the squash, we would feel obligated to give him some money.
This would make me feel uncomfortable and not want to go back either. I'm not heartless but I'm not who I used to be. I loaned someone about $180.00 many years ago and never saw it again. On Friday a male registry nursing assistant asked me for a ride home and I said "sorry I don't give rides" It was after midnight. All I care about is getting home to my own cats at that time. He finally stated he got a hold of his wife but was still there when I left. I'm not comfortable with taking or giving help to anyone unless they are family or I know them very very well.
The old saying is true , never lend money, Books or Tools if you hope to get them returned... IMO...I would go straight back to that restaurant and act as though nothing has happened. Simply just act as normal ..why should you and your wife be made to feel uncomfortable in a place you're happy to frequent? if he approaches you again then it's time to report him to the manager. You can always do it anonymously by phone or email if you'd rather not let your identity be known!
This is not to brag when I say we can be considered a very generous couple especially with my husband who has that natural golden heart. But we choose whom to help. We have learned so many lessons that we should be discerning before lifting a helping hand. Oh, there are so many incidents of that nature and I had posted in one thread about a woman with a child asking for fare money then I discovered it was a scam and the child was not her child. With that incident, @Cody Fousnaugh, I will just forget it and move on. First, he is a stranger so you have no obligation to him. Second, you don't know if what he's saying is true. Third, when people talk about money then you have to be cautious. And in that situation, gee, $45 is big money. And what can a night in a motel do to him? I guess you just have to charge it to experience and banish your pity. Don't let that thought ruin your day. Enjoy life.