The History of Sixteen Wonderful Old Women - author unknown - was a chap book published in London in 1820, by Harris and Son. There was an Old Woman named Towl, Who went out to Sea with her Owl, But the Owl was Sea-sick, And scream'd for Physic; Which sadly annoy'd Mistress Towl. There came an Old Woman from France, Who taught grown up Children to dance, But they were so stiff, She sent them home in a miff; This sprightly Old Woman from France. There was an Old Woman of Bath, And She was as thin as a Lath, She was brown as a berry, With a Nose like a Cherry; This skinny Old Woman of Bath. There was an Old Woman of Croydon, To look young she affected the Hoyden, And would jump and would skip, Till she put out her hip; Alas poor Old Woman of Croydon. There was an Old Woman of Harrow, Who visited in a Wheel barrow, And her servant before, Knock'd loud at each door; To announce the Old Woman of Harrow. There was an Old Woman at Glos'ter, Whose Parrot two Guineas it cost her, But his tongue never ceasing, Was vastly displeasing; To the talkative Woman of Glos'ter. There dwelt an Old Woman at Exeter, When visitors came it sore vexed her, So for fear they should eat, She lock'd up all the meat; This stingy Old Woman of Exeter. There was an Old Woman of Gosport, And she was one of the cross sort, When she dress'd for the Ball, Her wig was too small; Which enrag'd this Old Lady of Gosport. There liv'd an Old Woman at Lynn, Whose Nose very near touch'd her chin, You may easy suppose, She had plenty of Beaux; This charming Old Woman of Lynn. There was an Old Woman of Leith, Who had a sad pain in her Teeth, But the Blacksmith uncouth, Scar'd the pain from her tooth; Which rejoic'd the Old Woman of Leith. There was an Old Woman in Surrey, Who was morn noon and night in a hurry, Call'd her Husband a Fool, Drove her Children to School; The worrying Old Woman of Surrey. There was an Old Woman of Devon, Who rose every morning at seven, For her house to provide, And to warm her inside; This provident Woman of Devon. There was an Old Woman in Spain, To be civil went much 'gainst her grain, Yet she danc'd a fandango, With General Fernando; This whimsical Woman of Spain. There was an Old Woman at Norwich, Who liv'd upon nothing but Porridge, Parading the Town, Made a cloak of her Gown; This thrifty Old Woman of Norwich. There was an Old Woman of Ealing, She jump'd till her head touch'd the Ceiling When 2 1 6 4, Was announc'd at her Door; As a prize to th'Old Woman of Ealing. There was an Old Woman at Leeds, Who spent all her time in good deeds, She work'd for the Poor, Till her fingers were sore; This pious Old Woman of Leeds.
I really like the more recent whimsical one about relativity. There once was a woman named “Bright” Whose speed was much faster than light. She set out one day, in a relative way, And returned on the previous night.
Hal would be proud of this thread. Here is one just for @Ken Anderson who doesn't appreciate the art of poetry There was an old widow named Faye That was never shy what to say She voiced her concern And was banished to learn Her threads were in a state of decay
there was an old lady from wheeling... that hung upside-down on the ceiling.. she fell on her neck and she hollered by heck! i've broken my dadgum blasted neck!