Stepfather In The Hospital

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Kitty Carmel, May 24, 2018.

  1. Kitty Carmel

    Kitty Carmel Very Well-Known Member
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    He broke his left hip. He fell but didn't call me until the next morning. He was able to still walk on it with pain. He wanted to go to the clinic but I knew he needed to go to the ER and I was right. He is having surgery today.

    When I wrote my brother, 3000 miles away last night, I explained how this could go. Good recovery, poor recovery, or serious surgical side effect due to his age. I got the usually lets think good thoughts, I'm 3000 miles away, no problem, your problem type response. Basically I know he feels relief he has nothing to do with this.

    If he gives me the support, which was horrible, I got with our mother's illness, I'm about done with him. I'll have to go over daily to my stepdad's to take care of his cats who already don't know why he isn't there. I only work two days a week but it's still a huge stress for me as it all falls on me. There is no one else.
     
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  2. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    You didn't need this now @Kitty Carmel ...you've been stressed enough! I feel for you, it's going to be all on you.

    Is there anyone else nearby that can at least help you out somewhat??
     
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  3. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
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    Kitty - I sincerely hope your Stepdad recovers well and when this episode is over, you will be able to relax
    and do the things you enjoy
    Good wishes to you
     
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  4. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    Hip fractures are not minor injuries at all, as I am sure you know. Younger people might fall and break their hip but older people tend to break their hip and then fall, meaning that in younger people the fracture is a result of the fall, while in older people the fall is the result of the fracture. Hip fractures tend to heal slowly in older people, as well. The fact that he was able to walk afterward is positive, however - not that he did so, as it would have been better not to, but that he was able to.
     
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  5. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    It's hard for others to be much help if something happens and they live so far away. I'm sorry to hear about your Stepfather's hip @Kitty Carmel and hope that maybe there will be some help you could call on from a Senior's program, etc. in your area...or maybe even with your Stepfather's health insurance. Maybe even a neighbor of your Stepfather's would be willing to help with the cats.
     
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  6. Kitty Carmel

    Kitty Carmel Very Well-Known Member
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    @Chrissy Cross Thank you. Not even my own brother mentioned or acknowledged what I'll have to do ahead. Not to minimize what my stepdad is going through. But this won't be a family effort to help. There is only me. There isn't anyone else. At work, I won't even mention this to that odd group of people. I'll get through the two days this weekend and then see what will happen next week.

    Thank you @Patsy Faye

    @Ken Anderson I do know the fall because the hip fractured scenario. My step dad said he had some past falls he didn't mention and he felt unbalanced sometimes. Something he never mentioned to me. I've taken care of plenty of people post hip surgery to know the many ways this can go. We did send one lady home who had a very slow recovery. A couple years ago we had one over 90 who got knocked down by someone on a bicycle while she was walking her dog. She did great and was out fast. It's always hard to know how these things will go. Surgery its self posts many risks for someone in his age group.
     
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  7. Kitty Carmel

    Kitty Carmel Very Well-Known Member
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    Thanks Babs, my brother can't even give emotional support. I was actually stunned by the e mails he sent me during our mothers illness. He was unsupportive, telling me I wasn't doing enough, bragging he made a phone call and brining up family issues from 25 years plus that had nothing to do with the current situation.

    I don't think my stepdad wants anyone else in his home and I can't blame him for that. I can go out daily. It will be a hassle on work days but that's only two days. His home is safe though since it's in an adult mobile park and people do look out. He has good insurance. Medicare and supplemental though his county retirement.

    I'm sure the cats are upset about why he isn't there.
     
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  8. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    You really have a full plate @Kitty Carmel ....please take care of yourself also!!
     
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  9. Gloria Mitchell

    Gloria Mitchell Veteran Member
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    @Kitty Carmel ... deep breathe Kitty...ahum..foozbabab...deep breath,stay calm and carry on:)
     
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  10. Kitty Carmel

    Kitty Carmel Very Well-Known Member
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    I don't take stress well at all. I've been dealing with too much since I was just a kid.

    My stepdad made it through surgery very well and was up in the chair when I went in yesterday. Now of coarse rehab is ahead. And I wonder how I'm going to get him to do less.

    I found he put the large spare tire from his pickup in the second bathroom. Rims and all. It has to be heavy He said he rolled it up the stairs to the mobile. He could have rolled it behind the small porch landing for the back door and it would be covered and out of sight. No one would have stolen it. I don't know how I can get him to not make stupid decisions or do dumb things like this. I told him he needs to stop over doing it.
     
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  11. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    He sounds very stubborn!

    Glad he did well with the surgery!
     
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  12. Kitty Carmel

    Kitty Carmel Very Well-Known Member
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    Thanks @Chrissy Cross I think one problem with him is my mother was so domineering and made every decision, that sometimes he doesn't know how to make decisions anymore for himself.

    He looked better than I felt after I had my gall bladder out and I was under 45. I was dazed and talking slowly. He seemed normal.
     
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  13. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    @Kitty Carmel Will your stepdad be going to out patient Rehab or in patient? I'm glad to hear he came through the surgery just fine. And I'll be praying our heavenly Father will give you all the strength and patience you need each day to help him.
     
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  14. Kitty Carmel

    Kitty Carmel Very Well-Known Member
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    Thank you so much @Babs Hunt Your kindness is much appreciated. Probably in facility rehab. I spoke to the discharge planner who stated his therapy notes looked good. He is walking with stand by assist only.

    A couple of years ago the nice place next to him came up for sale. I figured it was too close as I've been independent all these years. Now I wonder if I should have bought it. But it's a point not to ponder at this time. Can't do anything about it.

    I am grateful I'm only working two days a week. I appreciate being able to post here as it's really the only support I'm receiving.
     
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  15. Kitty Carmel

    Kitty Carmel Very Well-Known Member
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    My stepdad will likely go to a place for rehab today. He asked me to pick the place which adds yet another burden. Having worked in them all, I'm not sure what to do.

    So far everything is going ok but going forward I have concerns. He doesn't want to slow down. I still can't get over that huge tire he rolled up five stairs and into the bathroom when it could have been much more easily rolled behind the stair landing covered and out of sight. It's these kinds of decisions that he makes that really worry me. He has no dementia but he seems to have old age bad common sense or something.
     
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