The Lamest Jokes From Your Childhood

Discussion in 'Make Me Laugh' started by Faye Fox, May 1, 2023.

  1. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    What is the lamest joke you ever heard as a child?

    Here is mine and sadly since losing my teeth and not talking clearly, but still having the ability to talk Texan, a favorite hahaha!
    For full appreciation one must use a deep East Texas accent when telling it.

    Old denture wearing East Texas arthritis suffering lady after boarding the bus from Krum (yes that is a real town) to Texarkana, Corsicana, or some damn Texas cana town and checking her purse for her medication only to see she forgot it, yells loudly , "My assburns, my assburns."

    Bus driver after already getting the bus up to highway speed, snarls, "Well stick it out the winda."
     
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    Last edited: May 1, 2023
  2. Tony Page

    Tony Page Veteran Member
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    That's the lamest, Like a submarine with screen doors.
     
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  3. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    A little European boy runs--panicked--to his mother, because his brother, Stein, has swallowed some change.
    "Mama! Mama! There's a franc in Stein!"

    One a similar note...a woman takes her child in to the doctor because he, too, swallowed some coinage.
    Mother: "How is he, Doc?"
    Doctor: "No change yet."
     
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  4. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Banana.
    Banana who?

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Banana.
    Banana who?

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Banana.
    Banana who?

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Orange.
    Orange who?
    Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
     
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  5. Tony Page

    Tony Page Veteran Member
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    " But mama I don't wanna go to Europe"
    " Shut up and keep swimming"
     
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  6. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    At the school Halloween party:

    Teacher to Johnny: "How cute! It's Captain Hook. And tell me, Cap'n, where are your buccaneers?"
    Johnny to teacher: "Under my buccan hat."
     
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  7. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    Knock knock
    Who's there?

    Interrupting cow
    Interrupting cow wh MOO!
     
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  8. Krystal Shay

    Krystal Shay Very Well-Known Member
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    A Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a
    "doggie" bar having a drink when a good-looking female Collie
    comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese
    in a sentence, will get to take me out on a date!

    So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese."

    The Collie says, "That's not good enough."

    The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese."

    She says, " That's not creative enough."

    Finally, the Chihuahua says, " Liver alone..........cheese mine."
     
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  9. Krystal Shay

    Krystal Shay Very Well-Known Member
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    A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of
    kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his
    mother, "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens."

    "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them
    up and looked underneath." he replied.

    "I think it's printed on the bottom."
     
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  10. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    All the knock-knock and Little Johnny jokes. :rolleyes: This one was more of a junior high level...

    Teacher, holding up a picture of a deer: "Little Johnny, what is this animal?"
    Little Johnny: "Dunno."
    Teacher: "What does your mother call your dad?"
    Little Johnny: "Oh, that must be a horny bastard." :p
     
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  11. Tony Page

    Tony Page Veteran Member
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    Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    Distressing.
    Distressing who?
    Distressing has too much vinegar.
     
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  12. Tony Page

    Tony Page Veteran Member
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    The Dad says: What was that loud noise?

    Son: My jacket fell on the floor.

    Dad: Why would your jacket make such a loud noise?

    Son: Because I was wearing it.
     
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  13. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
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    Why did the chicken go over the road? Because it couldn't go under it.
     
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  14. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    Why did the chicken go halfway across the road?
    To lay it on the line.
     
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  15. Tony Nathanson

    Tony Nathanson Very Well-Known Member
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    Why do ducks fly South for the Winter?
    It's too far to walk.
     
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