To Call Or Not To Call Police?

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Cody Fousnaugh, Aug 13, 2021.

  1. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    When we got home from Dodge City, Kansas, we had a new neighbor move in next door. The mother and daughter who had lived there, moved out.

    Well, the new neighbor is another mother and daughter, but much younger. I have talked to the mother and her mother (who came to visit) and they seem to be very nice.

    But, yesterday afternoon, we could hear a commotion coming from inside their apartment. Their living room wall is on the other side of ours. I went outside to see if the noise was coming from that apartment and it was. From what I could hear, because one person was yelling "open the door" and yelling that pretty loud. Apparently, the daughter had locked herself into a bathroom. Like ours, only one room in the apartment has a lock and that's is one bathroom. Sounded like a man was yelling and, from the sound of it, trying to kick down the door. BTW, the mother works during the day.

    I called the manager and told her what we were hearing. She said "ok", hung up, but a few minutes later, called us back. Told us, "you'll have to call the police, I'm not allowed to when it's a domestic problem." I told her how strange that sounds, but "ok". Since we don't want any kind or retaliation, or be a part of any legal problem, we decided not to call. In fact, apparently nobody in the surrounding apartments called either.

    Things simmered down a little while after we got the call-back from the manager.

    What would you have done?
     
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  2. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    We have had certain things like that here happen. Um go with the gut feeling. Also Cody where we live the police have another number you can call for such things instead of 911. We have used it couple of times on our upstairs neighbors. It is anonymous, they will not know who called in on them. And 30th of next month these PIA people will be gone thank goodness!
     
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  3. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    How old is the little girl? Some little kids will lock doors just for the hell of it.
     
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  4. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    How old was the girl and who was the man trying to kick down the door? It sounds like an all too common sexual abuse case to me. A woman leaves her daughter under her boyfriend's care. Personally, I would call the police and report it as a possible abuse case. Let them and children services sort it out and chances are they would move knowing I was on to them.
     
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  5. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    I try not to make a lot of assumptions. We don't know who the man is; maybe her father? I tend to mind my own business unless I am sure there is something going on that needs intervention.
     
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  6. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    There's not enough information. I would get involved if I had good reason to believe that abuse was occurring, but I wouldn't want to call the police on someone who might just be a frustrated parent. I can't think of a time when I felt the need to yell at my son, at least not until he was sixteen or seventeen, and by then I knew quite well that yelling wasn't going to help. But, having parented a nephew with reactive attachment disorder, I still don't consider yelling to be an effective parental strategy, but I can surely understand the frustration that might lead to it. So, I suppose I'd be nosy and try to hear more of what was going on so that I could make that determination.

    I get angry and yell at my computer sometimes, and I'd hate it if my neighbors called the police. That's one advantage to living in a house versus an apartment.
     
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  7. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    Cody indicated it was just a mother and daughter that lived there. Also even if it is the father, attempting to kick down the door seems suspicious, especially since the mother wasn't there. Based on what Cody posted it is sure has all the red flags. It is a tough choice whether to get involved or mind your own business. If something happens to the child that may be a simple call might have prevented, then that is not something I would want on my conscience. Also, the landlords have the right to give the notice to inspect the apartment for damage. All I can say is just reading Cody's post, I got a bad feeling.
     
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  8. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    I don’t think I’d have a problem knocking on the door and simply asking if someone needed help. Perhaps the man is indeed the father in which case he might just need someone to talk him down a little.
    If the guy looked like he was going to pursue some kind of violence, it’s time to call 911 emergency.

    Dunno about most apartments but the 2 times I lived in one it was common place for somebody to get verbally and or physically abusive just about every weekend night.

    I had a lot of practice knocking on doors when I owned a rooming house. “ Keep it quiet or grab your stuff with a definite quickness”! Leaving by way of the 2nd story window or through the front door is all the same to me especially when dealing with someone on drugs or boozed up.
     
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    Last edited: Aug 13, 2021
  9. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Last night, close to 10PM, we heard their front door open and close very loudly. Could also hear someone crying loudly, which sounded like the daughter and someone yelling, that sounded like the mother. We were going to call the police, but someone beat us to it. We heard someone knock on their door, we opened our blinds, looked out our front window and two police cars were sitting in parking places right in front of our apartment. Obviously don't know what was said, but after awhile both officers left.

    I have a inside feeling that this mother/daughter have had the police called on them before. If this commotion happens again, I'm really wondering just how long the manager here will allow them to stay living here.

    The slamming door, crying and yelling really interrupted us watching tv and, apparently interrupted an upstairs resident. Unless, it was the mother or daughter who called the police.
     
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  10. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Well, so far, we haven't heard back from the manager about the incident with our next door neighbor that happened this past Saturday night. Then again, unless it's a real crime, and someone might get arrested, she might not care what happens in her complex. Seems very strange for an apartment complex manager not to care what goes on in her complex, but that just might be the truth.

    Or, she doesn't like complaining Seniors. But, when we complain to her about something, it's about some kind of noise. Noise that is either disturbing our tv watching or sleep.

    Heck, we thought we'd get away from "noise" when we bought our old house. Well, that sure didn't happen! The city we lived in had a dog barking ordinance, but it wasn't enforced. So, we go from a housing development that, at night, could sound like a dog kennel, to an apartment complex that can sound like a dog kennel both day and night.
     
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  11. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Well, around 1PM today, I went to pull our Durango out of the garage, to get it ready to haul our boat to the lake tomorrow AM, and noticed to patrol cars sitting in parking spaces around the corner from where we live. Have no idea why they were here, but a guy came out with both officers, talking with both. Very short time later, one officer left, but the guy stood and talked to the other officer who was sitting in his patrol car.

    I seen and asked our maintenance girl what was going on, but she told me "I can't say". But, I did find out that the complex we live in is not HUD. That's probably the reason I couldn't find a thing online that said it was.

    I did find out that the couple who hadn't been paying rent, and had moved out when we were in Dodge City, Kansas, had to move because their lease was renewed. So, I guess the "eviction moratorium" is still in effect, but that has nothing to do with an apartment complex manager not renewing the lease of a resident, resulting in the resident having to move.
     
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  12. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
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  13. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    I wouldn't call the police.Its a wild world and a little birdie may tell who called them.
     
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  14. Marci Miller

    Marci Miller Very Well-Known Member
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    same here
     
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  15. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    One thing is for darn sure, the walls in our apartment are the thinnest we've ever encountered. Very thin!

    We plan on looking for a different apartment, but, believe it or not, where we live is the best looking complex in the area. Most of the other complexes close to ours, look somewhat-to-very "dumpy". They are definitely cheaper looking. And, our manager doesn't have much trouble keeping her complex apartments full.

    But, to a point, living here can be like living in a college/university dorm. We have never/ever lived around so many young folks that would be the age of grandkids to us.
     
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