We Need Memorial Golf Courses

Discussion in 'Sports & Recreation' started by Lon Tanner, Jul 3, 2021.

  1. Lon Tanner

    Lon Tanner Supreme Member
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    Why not combine Golf Courses & Cemeteries? The advantages are numerous. It would increase needed golf course revenue, provide additional member benefits, please enviromentalists and be esthetically pleasing to the eye.
    You could have all flat makers and charge for the space based on location. Tee Markers for example would be prime, whereas off the fairway space, less so. You could replace the sand in the bunkers with cremated remains. Most courses close for one day a week for golf course maintainence and that would be the day set aside for burials. Soft organ music wafting across the course from speakers, to soothe the jangled nerves of the golfers. Ah yes, I can see it now. No more hit the ball and drag Harry, just leave him there. Age restricted, Active Adult Retirement Communities like where I live would be ideally suited for such a concept given the average age of the residents. Unfortunatley it will never come to pass because it's too practical an idea.
     
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  2. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    I love satire especially when it has to do with the EPA!

    Alas, it wouldn’t work in New Orleans. Everyone is planted on top of the ground in various sized mausoleum type enclosures.
     
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    Last edited: Jul 3, 2021
  3. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    Fresh dug graves could be the ultimate hole in one.
     
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  4. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    Uh huh and during those tournament times, instead of giving away a free car for the hole in one, the player gets a free burial plot.
     
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  5. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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  6. Hoot Crawford

    Hoot Crawford Veteran Member
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    the number of golfers and the number of golf courses in the US has been on the decline for a number of years. A more practical suggestion would be to convert some of the closed golf courses to cemeteries, since dying remains popular.
     
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  7. Hugh Manely

    Hugh Manely Very Well-Known Member
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    Yes, here are some changes we could make:

    We will “Tee off in the mourning”, or “tee off in the wake”

    Instead of golf carts, golf hearses.

    Instead of “fore” we could holler “gore”.

    Instead of a “hole in one” we could say “tomb in one”.

    Instead of saying “quiet”, we could say “no coffin”.

    A foursome is now four pallbearers.

    The 18th hole” becomes the “end of life” or “the last rites” hole.

    Instead of “how many yards to the green?” we say” how many yards to the tombstone yard?”

    Instead of a golf tournaments, we could have a golf commemorations.

    “Can I have a mulligan?” is changed to “do I get a eulogy?’

    Instead of sand traps, we could have a burial traps.

    Down the fairway is now down the procession lane.
     
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