What's The Appropriate Reaction?

This thread can be used to house other questions later but the one that I want to start out with is this. Let me set it up for you first, so that it makes sense.

Following shoulder surgery, my wife spent about a month sleeping on the reclining sofa. During that time, I brought my MacBook into the bedroom so that I could listen to podcasts and stuff during the night. Thus, my charger and charging cord was plugged into the outlet in the bedroom, which is on the side of the bed that my wife sleeps, since I don't have an outlet nearby on my side.

During the day, when I used my MacBook, I wouldn't take the charger and cord with me because it will hold a charge for ten hours or more. I would leave it in the bedroom because that was the only place where I charged it.

After my wife began sleeping in the bedroom again, she complained about the MacBook because she had her iPad on that stand, although there was plenty of room for both of them. I took the MacBook downstairs the next day because I was going to use it in the library, while I sat with Ella. There was no need to plug it in because it had a full charge.

Several days go by during which I have not used the MacBook because I generally use the iMac. Then, a few days ago, I was going to cover for Michelle and her partner at their recovery center, which I do from time to time. Not knowing how long it was going to be before they returned, I went upstairs to get my charger and charger cord in case the MacBook needed to be charged.

They weren't there. She had her iMac cord plugged in where my MacBook cord had been, although there are several outlets on the same line. I asked her where she had put the charger and she denied having touched it.

"It's probably with your MacBook," she suggested.

"No, I don't take the charger with me when I use the MacBook. It will hold a charge for hours."

This went on for a while, and she got the idea that I was accusing her of taking my charger and cord, because, well, I suppose I was. When I brought up something else that hasn't been seen since she last rearranged the living room, she got angrier than seemed reasonable to me.

I told her that I know she didn't throw it away or deliberately make it disappear but that she had probably moved it because it was in the way, forgot where she had put it, and then forgot that she had moved it at all.

That seemed reasonable to me, but she disagreed, and she disagreed strongly. I let it rest and ordered another charger and cord from Apple, which cost just short of a hundred bucks, which was annoying because I knew that I had a perfectly good charger and cord somewhere in the house. Of course, I had looked everywhere that I could think of, even in places that I knew it wouldn't be; even downstairs, although I knew that I hadn't taken it downstairs.

My new charger and cord came today. Since I had taken my MacBook downstairs, I decided to charge it. I set the MacBook up on my portable desk which, until I build a table for an office in the library, has been in the way next to my coffeemaker. I went to plug the charger into the outlet that the coffeemaker is plugged into, but there wasn't room. My old MacBook charger was plugged in there. The one I had been looking for.

So I'm confused. I am pretty sure that I had looked there, and since I make a couple of pots of coffee a day, I am having trouble understanding how I could have missed seeing it, as the outlets are not floor outlets - they are at eye level. MacBook Pro chargers are not tiny. They take up the space of a couple of outlets.

Did Michelle come across it upstairs, where she had put it and, not wanting to admit that, snuck it downstairs and plugged it in near my coffeemaker, hoping that I would believe that it had been there all along? Or was it there all along? Did I put it there, and somehow missed seeing it while I was searching the house for it?

I don't know because now that I found it, I am thinking of sneaking it upstairs and hiding it somewhere in the bedroom where she will come across it and think she had put it there. If we hadn't fought over it, it would have been easy.

If I admit that I found it where I found it, it will probably bring the argument back to light again. No one has mentioned it in days, and we've kind of gotten past that.

So the questions are these...

• No one is fighting over it anymore so do I just put it away as a spare, and say nothing?
• Do I admit that I had found it and open myself up to continued anger over having accused her unfairly?
• Do I hide it somewhere upstairs so that she will find it somewhere and think she might have put it there?

Okay, I've pretty much ruled the third option out, although that would be the most fun. I'm leaning toward saying nothing unless it comes up again rather than dredging an old argument up again, although if I had accused her wrongly, admitting it would be the right thing to do.

Of course, there is also the chance that she'll come across this thread at some point.

 

Yeah, I figure one in my travel case so that I don't have to remember to pack it, and so that I can leave the other one in place.

Especially if I chose option number 3.

 

If it were me who lost the item, I would probably have decided that I had actually left it there, wherever it was found, and for whatever reason, it was just “gone invisible” when I was looking for it.
Bobby and I both have that kind of thing happen every now and then, and when we do find it, it was usually either where it was supposed to be, or in some spot that I put it and didn’t remember until I found it in that spot.
The next thing is to run happily up to Bobby and tell him that I found my lost (whatever), and how happy I am , and that I am sure that it was me who put it there.
Or, Bobby finds it for me, and tells me where it was, and I give him a big hug for finding it for me.
That is what Bobby always does, too; so it is more like a treasure hunt for us, to see who can find the lost item first.
Sometimes, it is a given that you will never, ever find the first lost item until you have purchased a replacement.

 

I'd fess up.

In the long run you won't have to carry it around, and it will make you look honest...because you are, albeit reluctantly. The possible short-term hit will be worth the definite long-term benefit, once the dust settles.

But pick the right time. Timing is everything.

Then delete this thread.
The secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.

Good luck, Jim.

 

So far, I'm letting it ride. If the moment presents itself, I'll do it. I might begin with something like, "You know that it's not good to dwell on things that happened in the past, right?"

 

Oh, of course, there would be an apology but then, I haven't ruled out the possibility that she chose her own version of option 3, and put it there.