When To Say Something And When Not To

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Cody Fousnaugh, Aug 11, 2022.

  1. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    12,751
    Likes Received:
    8,743
    The old saying, "Mind your own business!", just doesn't apply all of the time. If it did, there'd be many, many , MANY people getting away with all sorts of things that were against the law, policies and rules of whatever.

    But, when is it appropriate to report something seen? And then, how much does the word "retaliation" comes into view, IF the party finds out who reported them? If something is reported to an apartment complex manager, the manager will make sure the reporting party is not disclosed. But, there are those violators that can "assume", and then what? Law enforcement is the same way, they don't disclose a reporter, unless it's a serious crime.

    We had a neighbor once, where we are currently living, see us walking to our garage and ask us if we reported to the manager that his vehicle license plate year registration tag was expired. We hadn't and don't know why he zeroed in on us. At the time, the old manager, and current owner, was having a tow truck company come into the complex around midnight and check vehicle registration year tag. He'd put a Notice To Be Towed on the drivers window if the expired tag wasn't renewed.

    So...........when to report and when not to?
     
    #1
  2. Joanna Newton

    Joanna Newton Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2021
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    355
    Wellll, my current environment is dangerous, and the risk of retaliation is very real. However, I basically have the same approach as I did in better environments: if someone is being harmed or is in danger, I'd either call the police or, in some cases, intervene myself.
    For other incidents, such as drugs, break-ins, etc., I contacted the landlord who, in turn, did nothing.
    As for something like you described- expired license tag- I'd simply mind my own business.
     
    #2
    Beth Gallagher likes this.
  3. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
    Staff Member Senior Staff Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    24,327
    Likes Received:
    42,631
    I guess that depends on where you live and how well connected you are. Here, in a town of a couple of thousand, we find out. While the police won't necessarily report it, as a matter of course, someone will be related to or be friends with one of the cops or someone else in the town office. When someone files a complaint against someone else, that person will probably find out who filed the report. When someone local commits a crime, half the town knows who did it before the police get enough information to make an arrest. When I ran a newspaper, people would call about all sorts of things, much of which I couldn't publish.

    I won't say that I would never report a crime. Some crimes, particularly those where there is an actual victim, need to be reported, but I wouldn't expect to remain anonymous. I would never file a complaint about something that I simply found annoying. No one promised me that I would never be annoyed in life.

    It's not just small towns, though. While I was a paramedic in some much larger cities, like McAllen, Texas, I'd find out all kinds of stuff without even trying. People talk.
     
    #3
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2022
    Don Alaska and Marie Mallery like this.
  4. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    12,751
    Likes Received:
    8,743
    First, why are you living in such an environment? And, why is "the risk of retaliation very real"? We've never lived anywhere like that.

    We had nothing to do with the Notice the resident found taped to his windshield. The tow truck driver did it, but, perhaps, the kid simply doesn't like old people, seen us and asked us. We told him we didn't report the expired tag to the Office, and that a hired tow truck company put the Notice on his vehicle, but I guess he didn't believe us.

    I've said "hi" to his girlfriend or wife (don't know which) and she is very, very nice.

    As far as "intervening", neither of us would do that. Way, way to many people, today, carry handguns and we don't want to be shot/die.

    Some owners of apartment complexes don't want any apartments empty, so they instruct a manager either not to do anything or very little, like give a Notice of Violation. In the case of "not do anything or very little", the complex gets the reputation that "anything goes" and those kinds of people will move in. To a degree, we have that here. Thing is, empty apartments cost owners money.

    In our last apartment complex, the maintenance supervisor would always report any resident breaking leasing policies or rules, that he seen. The manager, who was very experienced, would always do something whether it was a complaint from a resident or from the maintenance supervisor telling her.
     
    #4
  5. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    12,751
    Likes Received:
    8,743
    What is so weird, Ken, is that there are those that will brag about violating this or that. Then, somehow, the word gets out "Move here. We live here and pretty much do whatever we want to, no matter what the Leasing Agreement says. Heck, we didn't even read the Agreement, we just signed it."
     
    #5
  6. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2021
    Messages:
    10,296
    Likes Received:
    9,340
    I feel that America has had such negative change is because we citizens kept too quiet for too long,
    This is how ghettos begin and once safe communities became bad places to live. " minding their own business" so to speak.
    I feel it is your business when people move in and break every code enforcement law they can.
    What gets to me is the law breakers use private property rights when they break the laws " I'll do whatever I want to do on my property". Well that's fine long as it doesn't affect my property values. Why would you move into a community with laws you don't like?
    Even worse now that most are so Woke code enforcement officers won't even enforce their own laws.
    No septic, no electricity no problem. Want to put up a camper made other old camper parts and live in it for 2 years ,thats ok. Want to start a 25'x25' [guestimate] fire and burn toxic waste for 5 days from old camper parts and other things you brought in, like vynal,plastic,etc. with ash embers flying around trees that could cause forest fire and burn down someone's house, no problem.
    Then maybe start shooting thru the person property once the code enforcement tells them you complained. Why didn't they just do their damn job and enforce their laws.
    We were nice and welcoming to these people and didn't see anything wrong with camping while building a house or moving in mobile home. Realtor said because of what lives next to us our property values took a high dive.
    What happened to America is Americans going along to get alone no matter what.
     
    #6
  7. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    12,751
    Likes Received:
    8,743
    I remember, back like in 1996, a friend of mine told me what she encountered at an Olive Garden Restaurant. She was their with a girlfriend having dinner and a young couple was sitting behind them. The guy kept saying the "F" word and my friend got tired of it. She turned around and said "do you mind, I'm here to have a nice dinner with a friend, not to hear your crappy language." They asked for their check and left.

    When she told me about that, all I could say to her was.........."way to go, lady!!"
     
    #7
  8. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
    Staff Member Senior Staff Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    24,327
    Likes Received:
    42,631
    America became strong before we had all of these laws.
     
    #8
  9. Joanna Newton

    Joanna Newton Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2021
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    355
    To answer your questions: this area wasn't like this when I moved here, and stayed a good environment for many years; I've been trying to locate another apartment but haven't had any luck so far.
    People go around breaking windows, as well as actual break-ins, which are my main concerns.

    I agree with you intervening isn't a good idea, but I've done it a few times. But the more dangerous this area becomes, the less likely I am to take that option. If someone is being harmed or in danger, I'd call the police.
     
    #9
  10. Joanna Newton

    Joanna Newton Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2021
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    355
    I generally let annoyances pass, but if I were in that position I'd probably do the same as your friend.
    Actually, I'm so disgusted with this environment I'd probably say 'Were you raised in a gutter?!'
     
    #10
    John Brunner likes this.
  11. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2021
    Messages:
    10,296
    Likes Received:
    9,340
    Cody, if you're replying to my post, what is your point? Not being argumentive, just asking.
     
    #11
  12. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
    Staff Member Senior Staff Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    24,327
    Likes Received:
    42,631
    I think he's just continuing along the theme of when to say something and when not to.
     
    #12
    Cody Fousnaugh likes this.
  13. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2021
    Messages:
    10,296
    Likes Received:
    9,340
    Exactly now it's the law of the jungle and civilization is becoming a thing of the past real fast.
     
    #13
    Joanna Newton likes this.
  14. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2021
    Messages:
    10,296
    Likes Received:
    9,340
    Ours was also a good place to live because people made sure laws were enforced.
     
    #14
    Joanna Newton likes this.
  15. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2017
    Messages:
    8,797
    Likes Received:
    15,381

    oh trust me Never do that. I read then sign. Even if you cant remember all of it, you will retain something.
     
    #15
    Beth Gallagher likes this.

Share This Page