First they tell you to try to get ahead, and then they send the cops after you. But the real question is "Where were you last Wednesday???" I know you have a lot of hats, but this is probably a more convenient solution:
I need a new hat to go on this old head. Of those shown I like number one or number three, with a preference for no. one. However none are my style.
I'm not a Fedora guy, either. I used to have a British racing cap when I had my Austin Healey, but other than that, I'll wear the occasional baseball cap solely for the sun visor benefit. I guess it's not worth losing our heads over. I am surprised Cody has not accused the thief of hating barbers, or milliners, or phrenologists...but we're not even up to Post #10 yet, so I'll give him time.
Imagine if you will. Meet Joe Junker. An unsuspecting Porch Pirate who sees a large box and instantly imagines the wealth contained in that box. He gets it to his car, stows his package on the passenger seat and momentarily peers at the monkey’s paw hanging from his rear view mirror. He can’t wait to get it home so using the rusty knife he keeps in the glove box, he cuts the package tape off, quickly unfolds the flaps and looks straight into the eyes of several severed human heads which leads him to….the Twilight Zone. Fade the camera back, hear the screams. Next scene: Joe Junker’s head is in the box with the others. Next scene: The box is on another porch awaiting yet another porch pirate.