We all understand what hard times are like, regardless of how they unfold, regardles of whether they are financial, health, or otherwise-caused. I've always felt that sharing knowledge of one's difficult position is helpful if for no other reason, to ease the mind's difficulty in coping. It helped me, I know, to share here, awareness of the horrible time I went through as a young man, as it haunts me to this day. I wonder if the lady has sought help in other on-line sources Frank
I seriously have to agree with @Frank Sanoica’s last post. This forum can indeed be a means by which we can all put our cards on the table in hopes that the end result will be one of less stress and anxiety. If the truth were to be acknowledged, no one here really knows what the other members are gifted with or for that matter how highly educated so to say that no one here can help is a stretch of social authority. May it please the court: No matter the turmoil whether it be about morality, ethics or whatever, I for one do welcome anyone who needs council for even in a Biblical sense, “in the council of many is much truth”. We are many and sometimes, we as many can also be wise.
Well, I have very little-to-no sympathy for wife or husbands that outright cheat on their spouse..... no matter what the reasons are. My wife had two high school classmates that done it to their husbands. My wife insisted that we cut all friendship ties with both. One of them actually cheated on her husband after coming to our wedding and reception. Her husband didn’t come to the wedding. Some people want to sympathize with those that cheat, whereas I’m very different. No matter the reasons for it, it shouldn’t be tolerated. Professional help should be sought and none of us are professionals in these matters. Ok, I’m done
So, you're saying that without a possible doubt that there is no one on this forum who might be able to council with her? Among other accomplishments, there happens to be an REV. in front of my name along with an M-Div and several other funny little letters behind my name. @Ken Anderson also has quite a bit of experience in the Biblical ethics and moral department and I do believe there are a couple of other folks on this forum who have a little experience and have already shared quite a bit on the subject at hand. Granted, cheating by our standards is wrong but it should be our (and your) main goal to dislike the wrong but love and try to help the individual. To me, if ya can't be part of the solution, go feed the horses because they need to be fed.
Empathy doesn't require approval, and it doesn't have to indicate approval. I have learned to be able to relate to people I disagree with, and there needn't be any contradiction involved.
Unfortunately, it sure didn’t sound like she wanted to listen to an MD, REV or anyone else! She wanted sympathy and for us to tell her to continue with her affair. What she definitely didn’t want to do it listen to the truth! BTW, horses already fed. LOL
It's rather weird but I didn't detect anything of the sort but more like someone needing a friend to talk to. As a matter of fact, my wife observed that it is possible that the "lover" is just that; someone who listens and shows some compassion which isn't carnal at all. If it pleases the court: I would like to find one adult who has never had a carnal thought about another individual whilst they were committed to another person. Whether married or just going with someone, is it not wrong to have such thoughts? To think about it is as sinful as actually doing it so what of that? Is that not also adultery? Do Note: I often write, "if it pleases the court" because if someone acts as though they are the judge and jury, I might as well appease that person with the type of dubious dignity they desire. 2nd Note: I'm not trying to argue the right or wrong of an act @Cody Fousnaugh nor am I going to judge that person as to their reasoning for spilling the beans on this forum, but I did read everything she had to write and am still willing to read more without acting self righteous or being downright rude.
Folks,importance I have read and digested this thread and feel compelled to make a statement. So me of you will not like it; indeed, you may reply in such fashion as to attempt to "prove me wrong". If that attempt occurs, it will seal for good a few quiet suspicions I harbor without revealing them. I see no reason at all for this lady to have been "beat-up" on. Indeed, my reply was not being "easy", but rather to consider giving her son less importance in guiding herself. I was surprised and taken aback by the degree of vile retribution voiced by the "clique". I am ashamed and disenchanted by this. It should not even have been done to a Troll. Frank
Let's be careful about turning the beating in the other direction, however. Some of you know, because I have mentioned it here, but my stepdaughter was a lesbian. In this, I point out that she was my stepdaughter not because I was ashamed of her being a lesbian but to avoid the confusion that might otherwise result in the fact that she was part black. Please, let's not turn this into a discussion about her because that's not what this thread is about, and I am bringing it up only by way of pointing out that my wife and I loved her very much and, while we disagreed with her sexual orientation, and she was well aware of that, we could still have a loving relationship and interact on a whole field of interests because everyone is more than the label that might be placed on them, even if they choose the label for themselves. Whatever the label might be, we are more than that. My daughter was also a daughter, a mother, an accomplished soldier, a skilled organizer, and one hell of an intelligent person It's okay to disagree with an element of someone's lifestyle and to mention it when it comes up for discussion, as it did here, but it is wrong to apply one label to the entirety of a person's existence. I don't think I could even think of all the labels that could be placed on me, but I'll name a few: disobedient child, liar, thief, fornicator, bully, kidnapper, druggie, drunk, blasphemer, seditionist, draft evader, and I've broken nine out of the Ten Commandments. Yet I truly hope that God has forgiven me for these things, as well as all the other ones that I can't think of right now, and I consider myself to be a pretty good guy. I trust that He will realize also, that some of them weren't nearly as bad as the label might suggest, too. In response to a post about considering having an extramarital affair, it is perfectly okay to state that you do not approve. I certainly don't approve of extramarital affairs. I don't around looking for people who are doing things that I disapprove of so that I can tell them that but if someone asks me for advice, I'll be honest about it. However, ... you knew there was going to be a "however," didn't you? However, once your disapproval is noted, that doesn't mean that it's necessarily the end of the discussion. It might be for you, and that's fine. If you are uncomfortable being involved in a discussion over something that you strongly disapprove of, there is no reason whatsoever to do so. With my daughter, there were plenty of other things to talk about, as she was so much more than a lesbian. I wouldn't get involved in a discussion about how someone should go about carrying on an extramarital affair because I believe that it's wrong to have an extramarital affair, just as it was wrong for me to do some of the things that I've done in my life. While recognizing that such is not always the case, I like to assume that someone really wants to talk about something that they bring up in a thread, so I would give her the benefit of the doubt on that. But I don't see that she necessarily intended to have an affair. There's room for discussion. Although I don't know that I'm necessarily the most qualified person in the room to have such a discussion with, there may well be others here who are. But once you attach a label to the entirety of a person, then there's no further room for discussion. As an aid in discussion, labels are fine when they are attached to a particular behavior, but I don't know that it's ever helpful or accurate to apply that label to the person as a whole.
@Ken Anderson I half-expected that my reaction to the thread might prove troublesome for you. Be that as it may, Me being Me, could not keep still, sweep it under the rug, so to speak. I full-well understand the implication of a reference to the "group", such as mine is, as causing repercussion affecting all, that then possibly resulting in "harm" to the forum. Your forum. Your livelihood, or part of it. But, I, too, have to "live with myself", and will never, ever, bend to "political duress". My own scruples may not be untarnished, but, geez, I can't even come close to the negatives you've called out in yours....... So, not to look like I'm "grandstanding", after scrutinizing your post above, I must say I don't really understand your point. If yer concerned about "fallout", the shelter beckons. If a particular member seems to be a threat, kick him/her out. Not taunting you, Ken. I am just so appalled by the responses as I said............. Frank
Surprised by some of the comments and agree with Frank Some people find it easier to unburden themselves with strangers If you look in @J. Thomas - I would say on your comment regarding your husband who has improved a little over time, it is of course a 2 way street. He probably suspects that you have another relationship and I suggest to have a thorough talk through with him would be a very good idea, a lot of marriages fail due to lack of communication, so well worth a try - you may be very glad you tried this move
When someone asks for our advice on any subject, we can only share from our own experience or beliefs usually, and as long as we are sharing with the true intention of actually helping that person deal with their problem, then I think that it is probably good to have differing input. As Bobby mentioned, in the council of many is wisdom. On the other hand, I believe that it is wrong to condemn a person for whatever is happening in their life, and that they are struggling to get through. All of us have areas where we are strong and areas where we struggle to become a better person. I believe that the Bible is not a club to beat someone over the head with, it is personal instructions for us to use in our OWN life, not to condemn anyone else with. I think that @J. Thomas was here asking a sincere question, and was searching for input on what to do, and if so, I hope she will maybe give the forum another chance as a place for her to make some friendships and find caring people.
How would you know what she wanted Cody?....I see it in a completely different way...not everything is Black and white in this world you know...
Seems you don't tolerate wrong behavior in others but not so long ago on the other forum you were called out for lying on apt and job applications. You seem to justify what you do as okay.