. Dear John, first please don't panic, this Dear John isn't a breakup note. My records show that Traidor Nan contracted the virus when she rode her high-horse into San Francisco China Town to be shod by the Wu Wu horseshoe bat. She was the first USA case and didn't get sick herself due to eating large amounts of ice cream containing diglycerides which is similar to an ingredient in the vaccine.
Actually I looked there first, but she can run faster than me so that's a problem. Any vixens on crutches?
Dear Al, not an old vixen. Old vixens are out in plain sight but the old fox is looking in foxholes for that reddish white-tipped bushy tail and doesn't see the graying fading tail of the old vixen right in front of him.
Dear Ms. Fox: I recently became roommates with someone based upon your recommendation, and the guy is a freakin' pot head. I am a devout teetotalling Bible student. What gives??? Signed, Falswell Endswell
Dear Dr. Falswell & Mr. DisJ, you are suffering from a personality disorder. I suggest more Bible reading and less flirtation with Mary Jane. Imagining a roommate to justify your weed use can lead to serious consequences.
Dear Ms. Fox: I am in love with Susan MacFarland but she does not even know that I exist. In fact, this is the only thing we have in common...yet I love her still. Can ewe hep?
Dear John, I think she knows you exist and is stalking you. I will suggest getting her IP number from Ken and then hiring a hacker to break into her computer. After reviewing her info you may fall out of love with her quick and in a hurry.
Dear Mz, Fox, I waited too long to give loverboy my answer. He has done took up with my younger sister. She don't love him. That lying, scheming, underhanded, backstabbing little bitch is just after his fortune. How can I get him and his fortune back?
Dear Bruce, vixen cyberstalking is only revealed using a specialized crystal ball with a USB adaptor and not my expertise.