@Yvonne Smith I think the key word in your post is CHOOSE. How a person responds to life is a choice.
@Bess Barber Lots of good ideas shared here, interesting post. Now to answer your question: Why do you think some people are combative? In my personal experience, chronic combative people usually have hardcore one sided religious and political beliefs. Very intolerant of others beliefs. They feel it is their duty to convert and convince. This is group 1 and 2. Group 3 is non achievers that feel threaten by others success. Group 4 are those that were badly wronged by someone and hold everybody else responsible. Group 5 are attention seekers. Group 6 are the super jealous.
I think people become combative, argumentative and full of drama because it has become their identity. Their self esteem is so low until starting problems with other people and then sharing it with anyone else who will listen while painting themselves as the victim, is the only way they have to feel good about themselves. They want people to tell them they are in the right and the other person did them wrong. They are in search of constant reassurance from others because they really don't think they are right or good within their own heart. It's hard to be a friend to a person like that. It's exhausting. Then, I feel guilty for not opening up the door when she knocks.
@Bess Barber To answer the door or not, that is a tough question. I feel bad for you. I had a neighbor like that. So thankful she moved away. Sorry you have to deal with that. Now the hardcore religious solicitors are the worst here. You cannot be kind to them because they want you to get angry, sham the door in their face, or call the police. They can brag about their persecution. I have never done that. I just keep repeating I know all about your group and I am not interested and I have better things to do. I refuse to keep my curtains shut and act like I am not home. Avoiding combating with these types is getting more difficult as I get older.
Although I have done it a lot I don't want to put everyone in categories. I think that sets up a constant negative judgement of them when they may have changed at some point. Just trying to give everyone a chance.
Last weekend two young guys knocked on our door, with Bibles in their hands. They wanted to know if they could talk to us and I told them "sorry, we are busy" (which we were). Then I told them, "we are both Christians and also get involved with Cowboys For Christ" of which neither had ever heard of. They kept talking and I said "sorry, gotta go" and shut/locked the door. They knocked on nest door neighbors door and talked to her for a bit. Now, what sort of pissed me off, was that, after talking to her, they knocked on our door again. I looked out the peephole and could see it was the same two young men. Didn't answer the door and they went away. The following Monday, we got a Memo from the office stating that these two young men were on the property illegally and, if seen again, to call Security. There is a sign posted that says No Soliciting On Property. Apparently they visited others in the complex that didn't want to listen to them and reported them to the office.
I hope to find a senior community soon that forbids solicitors. One that stops folks at the gate and asked why and who they are visiting. One with a privacy patio and rules forbidding neighbors from having ladders and looking over the privacy fence.
I really like the idea of the gate/guard, but many places only have an electronic gate. To have both is pretty expensive and then, to have a guard on duty 24/7..……. Problem is, if the gate breaks (electrical problem), that can be fairly costly to the owners.
Another problem around here is most are battery operated with solar cell charging. People were stealing the solar cells. They also ran into a problem because if you didn't have your residents code or knew someone to let you in, then you couldn't get in. Although emergency services had codes, private process servers didn't and contested this because they were delivering court ordered papers. If they called before hand, then those being served denied them entrance. Managers didn't want to get involved. Most communities just leave the gate open anymore.
I live in a plain ole gated community. They do not allow solicitors..which includes any religious folk going door to door. If you live here and your child sell Girl Scout cookies..then yes they can do that. Personally I rather they didn't allow that either.
Awe, come on Gloria...…...against selling Girl Scout cookies??? Guess they could buy them at local Walmart.
I know Cody I sound terrible, but just dislike all that kinda stuff. Would be safer for them doing their selling at Walmart than doorr to door anyway.
Would just depend on where people live. There are those that would answer their door and politely say "no thank you" and others that would say "sure, let me get you the money".
My problem with girl scout cookies, boy scout popcorn and other products sold by children as "fund raisers" is where the money goes. ie. That $5.00 box of girl scout cookies nets the troop about $1.00. I would rather just give the $5.00 to the troop.