Combative People

Discussion in 'Philosophy & Psychology' started by Bess Barber, Sep 4, 2019.

  1. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2016
    Messages:
    8,160
    Likes Received:
    8,573
    @Jerry Adams
    To this I could add my dislike for the way lotteries are set up. But, I've worn it out earlier. Ups my BP, too! Suffice to say that of the one-dollar ticket sold, 11 cents automatically goes to the seller, 48 more cents goes for "Administrative Costs", and the rest accrues to be sold to the highest bidder, usually a big life insurance company.

    People buying the tickets are duped and hoodwinked, in reality, with no one ever knowing/......
    Frank
     
    #46
  2. Bess Barber

    Bess Barber Very Well-Known Member
    Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2019
    Messages:
    3,760
    Likes Received:
    7,388
    I don't have enough energy to do anything on the patio that would be worth someone getting their ladder out of the garage, much less climbing it. :D
     
    #47
  3. Jerry Adams

    Jerry Adams Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2019
    Messages:
    186
    Likes Received:
    365
    Very good analysis and I would add a couple of mental deficiencies as dyslexia and poor cognitive and coping skills. @faye

    If you think it's hard to be a friend to that person try being a parent. @bess
     
    #48
    Micki Pembroke and Bess Barber like this.
  4. Alan Sidlo

    Alan Sidlo Active Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2019
    Messages:
    86
    Likes Received:
    173
    I've only recently discovered that being combative is something certain individuals need to express on their journey toward their own destination for a better understanding. They may be in error but it's the approach they have chosen as a means to an end.

    What seems to work, for myself at least, is escalating my response to their level of intensity. This way I can "lower" myself to their level and expectation - for it's then that I can flip the situation to a moment of mutual respect through deflation. Difficult to explain but this approach seems to be successful given some accuracy in its timing.

    Each time I've employed this pugilistic stance, witnesses have informed me they were pleasantly surprised by the peaceful (and sometimes jovial) outcome to what may have seemed to be the start of a brawl. ymmv
     
    #49
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2019
  5. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2016
    Messages:
    8,181
    Likes Received:
    11,213
    There are those that like to "stir the pot" and cause all kinds of drama...once I know that's what is being done I find an excuse to get away...and then I stay away from them.
     
    #50
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2019
  6. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    12,965
    Likes Received:
    15,390
    I was just about to put words to that affect - so tiresome to be otherwise
     
    #51
  7. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    12,965
    Likes Received:
    15,390
    Would never 'lower' myself to their level - a few words is all I can muster in such a situation, not worth the energy needed
     
    #52
  8. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Veteran Member
    Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    4,881
    Likes Received:
    9,278
    I am pretty sure he meant lowing himself to ‘their level of understanding”.

    It’s kind of a mental “touchy feely” kind of thing. Ascertain as best you can what the understanding / intelligence level the person whom you are speaking to is at and then proceed forward on that level.
    E.g. a quantum physics professor certainly couldn’t teach basic math by using terms that are prevalent in quantum physics. He or she has to teach on the level of that student in order make an impact.
    The same goes for an argumentative person. You can’t make a point with a person with an average education and experience by using $20 words.
    A person might dazzle and baffle an adversary with brilliance and bull poop but in the end, there will be no understanding established.

    Of course, there are just some folks who really love arguing for the sake of arguing and for them, there is nothing that can be done but let them be the curmudgeon they really wish to be.
     
    #53
  9. Alan Sidlo

    Alan Sidlo Active Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2019
    Messages:
    86
    Likes Received:
    173
    Have to admit that my approach is somewhat divisive but for some people this is about what it might take. It's not a choice for everyone and realizing the risk that they may act out in a physical manner, so far at least, this ploy seems to have won more 'battles' than have remained unresolved.
     
    #54
  10. Alan Sidlo

    Alan Sidlo Active Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2019
    Messages:
    86
    Likes Received:
    173
    Totally with you there, Bobby Cole, one has to distinguish between the attainable solution or a situation of diminishing returns.
     
    #55
  11. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    12,965
    Likes Received:
    15,390
    Yep - depends entirely on the situation faced.
    I was speaking purely on a forum basis :)
     
    #56
    Lois Winters and Alan Sidlo like this.
  12. Alan Sidlo

    Alan Sidlo Active Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2019
    Messages:
    86
    Likes Received:
    173
    ...love this analogy BTW!
     
    #57
    Bobby Cole and Patsy Faye like this.
  13. Tex Dennis

    Tex Dennis Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2018
    Messages:
    560
    Likes Received:
    909
    I was raised to the one plus thoughts, take the way the person is treating you and go 1 + either way, sure many will not agree but just me there. I do not hold back much but say what I think, always been that way. Sometimes my parents would try to keep me out of a conversation due to that.
     
    #58
    Alan Sidlo likes this.
  14. Peter Renfro

    Peter Renfro Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2018
    Messages:
    441
    Likes Received:
    708
    I buy the occasional lottery ticket. I am neither duped or blinded. I know that the chance of winning is infinitesimal, I also know that the dollar or two that I spend means practically nothing to my budget. I really don't give a damn about the mechanics of the operation.

    I am also told that I am an aggressive confrontational person. I don't feel as though I am,I have an (usually) informed opinion that is just as valid as the next guys and I will defend it. I just don't suffer bullshit lightly. If that makes me aggressive and confrontational, so be it!
     
    #59
    Jerry Adams and Frank Sanoica like this.
  15. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2018
    Messages:
    4,523
    Likes Received:
    8,604
    Cody--I know this post was a while back, but I'd just like to recommend that you NEVER open your door to anyone you don't know. The Bibles they carried could have been props; a means to get into your apartment and harm you. These days it doesn't pay to be trustworthy (as I try to hammer this point home with my husband who opens the door to anyone.) Home invasions are becoming more common every day.
     
    #60

Share This Page