I went to see the Mayor and he wasn’t too happy to see me and even less happy when I left. I told ‘m I knew about the money and the Lawd didn’t like it. Then, I hit ‘m with 1 John 1:9 then sideswiped ‘m with John 3:16 but he just sipped his whiskey and said he didn’t believe all that stuff and to leave him alone. I thought he had me at that point and I was of no use but then I remembered what my Choir leader and part time hat check girl at the cat house told me. Well, I looked at that ol Mayor straight in the eye and told ‘m I knew about his rubber duck. I told ‘m that a western town might vote for a crooked mayor and they might even vote for a carouser who was buried in sins of the flesh and debauchery but they wouldn’t vote for a man who plays with a rubber duck in the bathtub. I told ‘m, No sir, the Lawd might have to forgive me for blackmail but if ya don’t return the town’s money, when I preach my next service I’ll preach Fire, Brimstone and Rubber Ducks and how you had your duck sent to you in secret from the Mason D’ Paris winery, cat house and Rubber duck emporium and it arrived straight from France and in a plain brown wrapper! I’ll tell ya, when I about to leave he was shakin’ so hard I thought he caught the Holy Spirit and when I was about to lay hands on ‘m and bring ‘m to Jesus he yelled at me to get outta his office! Dunno if he’ll come around but he’s a tough ol sinner so I don’t know. He always shows up just after service for the pot luck lunch so maybe, just maybe the fried chicken will get to ‘m next time and he’ll repent.
Reverend Cole that is midey brave of you to confront that crooked mayor and hit him with the "rubber ducky" story. If he dont come around then we will have to adopt my original plan. That is to have Miss Shirley and his girls ply him and his cohort politicians with hard liquor at the saloon tonite while my men search his home for the bank money. Well you did it Reverend. The bank manager just told me that one of Mayor Tanner's men returned the money this morning.. every last cent of it. I will still have to arrest him but I will find a lesser charge and give him a month in the lock up. He is to stand down immediately after his locking up and to never apply for mayor again. Mayor Tanner also swears he has had no dealings with the Go to Hell gang. Funnily I believe him. But we'll have to see tomorrow. I hope Reverend that the church's donation box is full to the brim after Sunday service.
Now we have another problem... I went over to see the Mayor at his office and when I entered, there was no one there.. I heard some voices coming from a room in the back of the building so I went over ever so quietly to see what is happening.. The door was partially open, so I peeked in without being spotted.. Well, the mayor was there with his secretary. on the couch, and doing things he shouldn't be doing.. I was totally flabbergasted when I saw what I saw... C'mon.. He is the Mayor and he shouldn't be doing those things... I don't want to tell you what I saw, but you can use your imagination.. The mayor and his secretary in the backroom together on the couch !!!!!! I left very quietly and they didn't know I was there.. I think we need an emergency meeting to discuss what our next move will be... No way is this behaviour acceptable in our peaceful town...
By the way...…….. When are elections due for mayor, councillors, Marshall, and other officials ..????? I believe it could be coming up soon....
You worry too much Chief Deputy. He is already set to spend a month in the lock up. You and I will take him into custody after breakfast. Correct a mayor must not steal nor commit adultery. That is why he has been relieved of his position and will never stand for mayor again as long as I am Marshall. Now please to the most pressing job at hand.. today we take down the Hell gang. That is if they fell for the mortician's clever story. Is everything ready for the ambush?
Steve, I wouldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole. Howsome-ever, I do have a picture of Hizhonor in the bathtub with his rubber duckies. I'm going to see how much he will pay me for the film and negative. Seriously, though, I'm going to PM @Lon Tanner and ask him if it's OK with him for me to post the picture. I wouldn't offend him by posting it against his wishes. Meanwhile, our undercover man is back at his regular job. He stands ready to take care of the casualties in the GoToHell gang, if any. @Ken Anderson
Come midday and the Marshall's gold shipment ruse has paid off handsomely. The Hell gang turned up on the dot and ran face first into the Marshall's ambush. There was a short fire fite before the gang surrended. One of our deputies and two of the gang suffered bullet wounds. Sorry Mr Von Kleist no business for you today.. but you sir can be proud of the part you played in bringing the GO To Hell Gang to justice. I have telegraphed the Grand River magistrate and he is sending men to transport the gang members to stand trial. The gang after their capture. The leader is Virgil "Soapy" Sykes (inset)
The Mayor is behind bars and the Hell gang are on their way to 'hoosegow' as we southerners like to say. Well mam I guess this calls for a celebration at Shirley's Saloon tonite.
No, we can't put the Mayor behind bars until I get my blackmail money from him. If he has enough money, I might let him off with just a slap on the wrists.