Mentally Approaching The Inevitable

Discussion in 'Health & Wellness' started by Frank Sanoica, Feb 13, 2017.

  1. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    I don't believe in hell, Cody and also I use the word heaven but I don't see it as a place where I'll be reunited with my husband, etc.

    There is evil in the world but it's man made, there is no devil.

    Getting off topic here with religion, think Franks post is more about death and dying.
     
    #16
  2. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Supreme Member
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    It's not off topic to Frank's topic of death and dying to those who believe that this is part of death and dying...the most important part to those who believe earthly death is not the end of life. It isn't about religion...it's about what each of us believes and everyones' beliefs should be respected here.
     
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  3. Doc James

    Doc James Veteran Member
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    Each one of us will eventually have to say goodbye to our mortal bodies, but I believe that as we grow older, acceptance, though difficult, will be possible. All of us fear the inevitable, but as a Christian, I have a strong faith that when that time comes, we will lift everything to our own diety, no matter what our beliefs are, and with open hearts, accept our fate
     
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  4. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    Yeah, I had that concern too, but as long as we don't move entirely to a discussion of religion, it's fine, since a belief in an afterlife surely can affect how we feel about dying, particularly for those who believe in the assurance of salvation, but even for those, like me, who have the hope of salvation.
     
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  5. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    I only mentioned it because I don't think Frank is religious so didn't think that's where he wanted his post to go.

    Otherwise, I'm the last person that cares about staying on topic. :) In fact I hate staying on topic.
     
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  6. Lon Tanner

    Lon Tanner Supreme Member
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    At age 82 and soon to be 83 I can certainly relate to Frank & Ike. I

    surely miss the active life that I had up until just three years ago. I am not dying but do have two Auto Immune diseases, neither curable, but treatable. I will not die from either but from something caused by them.

    I have completed my Bucket List and am very happy that my daughter, her three adult children and five greats are all healthy and financially secure.
    I think about my own demise and if will be in a Continuing Care or Hospice Facility. I would of course prefer to die in my own bed. asleep. I am not concerned about any After Life and never give it any thought at all. Once I am cremated and my ashes scattered in San Francisco Bay that's it.

    .thoughtsandtravels.blogspot.com
     
    #21
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2017
  7. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    I have no preference where I want to be scattered, I still have my husband's ashes and I think when I die, my children can mix our ashes and scatter them where they please or they can split them between themselves and have parts of us scattered here in California and the other half in the Midwest...maybe they can take us to Maui and scatter us in the ocean.

    Both kids have timeshares at the same Westin property so that would make the most sense...when they're relaxing on vacation they can look out on to the ocean from their rooms and think of their mom and dad.

    Don't know the rules though for taking ashes to Hawaii.
     
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  8. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    My half-brother and I got into it (a little) once, because he told me that it doesn't bother him (or care) when, how or where he dies. "I know where I'm going and that's all that matters to me", he told me. As for me, I want to live as long as I can, unless, of course, some deathly health problem happens to me. I have to much fun with my wife to think about death/dying. There are still to many things I want to do yet.

    BTW, part of the above is why I have never had a descent relationship with him. We have very, very different personalities. Have the same father, but other than that, very little-to-nothing in common.
     
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  9. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Supreme Member
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    One thing is for certain, we all are going to die one day. It's better to make peace with that fact than to "kick and scream" about it for the rest of our lives. I don't think I would have the energy to kick and scream about to much anymore...all though I do admit I have done a lot of kicking and screaming when things didn't go my way in my younger days. But peace is what I most want these days and I have alot more peace about dying now that all my daughters are married with families of their own. Yet because I am an emotional "girl" there are some days when I don't cope very well with the thought of dying. I also don't cope very well some days with the fact that this body of mine doesn't do what I want it to do anymore either.

    As long as I am in this human body I will have every human emotion including fear about dying at times and I think when it comes to my "dying day" (unless I do die in my sleep) I will feel all the emotions I do now and end up the same place I end up now...with the acceptance that I am not in control of dying anymore than I was of being born. And the final emotion of peace in my beliefs that death is not an end...but a beginning.
     
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  10. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
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    The way I see it, if you are a Christian, you should not be afraid of dying. You will go to heaven. If you are not a Christian, you should not be afraid of dying. Because you won't go to hell. I have no fear of dying. Sadness, perhaps, but no fear. I only want to be healthy until I do die. I do what I can to that end. So far, so good. :D
     
    #25
  11. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    Good answer @Shirley Martin ....I feel the same, not fear...just sadness.
     
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  12. Doc James

    Doc James Veteran Member
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    It saddens me just thinking that the time will come that I would have to let go of everything that is familiar. It also makes me sad thinking that if I do pass on I would leave my love ones incomplete
     
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  13. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Supreme Member
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    Thank you @Frank Sanoica for this topic. I've tried to open this discussion with many people, just to be shut down by most people too afraid to even think about dying.

    I'm a very self taught person, and my love of books has helped guide me through much of my life. When things got confusing, there always seemed to be plenty of books to counsel me on whatever I needed help with. You can find a plethora of information on how to deal with almost any subject.

    But there is little on what we as individuals should expect at this stage of life to entail. I'm not talking about the medical or religious aspects of death, but on how people in their senior years are to go about daily living until death.

    After loosing the last two people in my family in '14, I was really looking for some guidance. Not so much on death, but on how to keep on keeping on.

    There is plenty of literature on how to go about living until around the age of 60, but after that it seems to be about being dead. What I would like to find is more information on what most of us can expect our "golden" to be like. It seems that being older has become taboo. I think many older people feel so alone, because society doesn't present the senior years in a positive way.

    We give ourselves instructions on how to go through most of life, why not the last part.

    I'm not afraid of dying, it's the years from now until then that have me confused.

    PS: Anyone know of any senior authors that write stories about people in their senior years. I like mysteries. :)
     
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  14. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Supreme Member
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    I recall that often while I was a kid growing up, some family member passed away, my Dad had a bunch of older uncles, etc., and a funeral was imminent. We attended something they called a "wake", I use quotation marks because I'm not sure that was not strictly a local term limited to the ex-European Chicagoans. Folks fawned over the open casket, many perpetuating the phrase "he/she was a good person". Everyone knew the dead's background, so often I knew they were empty words spoken in behalf of the unfortuate lying before us. My Dad was known more than once to hypocritally comment, "The Good Lord most often takes the best of us first, leaving the (scoundrels) behind to cause grief for each other." (he actually invariably used "bas..rds").

    Our very lives were often seen by me as being liverd hypocritically lived. Familial dysfunction my younger nephew came to call it. Afterr he got a Masters Degree in Sociology. After all the scoundrels were long gone.
    Frank
     
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  15. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    If Christians are right and there is a heaven, they might indeed find themselves there, but those who do not believe are unlikely to. If Christians are right and there is a hell, it won't matter if those who populate it believed in it or not. It either is or it isn't.
     
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