On July 17,2005 my mother died due to complications from being bed ridden. It was hard losing her, not only was she my dearest friend, and in my opinion the best mother someone could ask for but she was also my sole surviving parent. As silly as this may sound but at the time I felt like an orphan. I was a forty year old woman and I felt like I was an orphan. Fortunately, my parents did leave me with seven brothers and sisters so I wasn't completely alone. We had one another to lean on, and it hasn't always been easy in those years but somehow we have managed to pull through. I still find it hard to believe that this much time has passed though. I sitll remember that day like it was yesterday, but now it has been ten years. I just felt the need to tell all of you this, because this is never an easy aniversary to acknowledge, just like the aniversary of my father's death, he has now been gone sixteen years this past April, ironically aslo on the 17th.
You will never forget your parents or what they mean to you. My father died when I was 16 and I was 26 when I lost my mother, so for most of my adult life I have lived without parents and I know what IT means to feel like an adult orphan. As it was exactly 10 years between their deaths, I think of both parent when it is a significant anniversary, and have marked the centenary of each of their births and the decades since their deaths. It does not have to be an anniversary, of course, for me to think about them and still feel love and appreciation for both parents.
I'm so glad to hear someone else say that after losing both parents they feel like an orphan. It is now my two sisters and me not to exclude our significant others but you know what I mean. Once that reality kicked in that there was no "Mom" to turn to, to joke with, to even disagree with I found I was indeed alone. Alone to take over the reigns that she so dearly released to each of us as guidance in raising our own families.
Yes, its like we are no longer someone's child. I guess the thing I didn't realize is that as I was getting older so were they. Along with their age cam health ailments as well. I guess I should be grateful for the time I did have them. My fahter was around till I was in my mid thirties my mother till as I said before I was forty. Now I have been without my parents for ten years, yet I still feel that void in my life. Perhaps it will always be there, no matter how much time goes by.
When my father died, I thought I couldn't move on. I was fortunate to have a loving and supportive husband who provided comfort in times of mourning. He took care not only of me but also of my family. He borrowed 2 cars for the use of our family for the funeral procession and he also provided the food for the guests who condoled with us. Ten years ago, my husband had semi-retired and was enjoying his life when he was invited to be a consultant of an organization in the movie industry. Amid his hesitation, I prodded him to join, not for the money but for the experience of going back to office work and meeting people again. He seemed to enjoy his job because until now he is still in that office.