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The Good Morning Thread

Discussion in 'Happy Talk' started by Diane Lane, Apr 20, 2015.

  1. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    I think I've seen some call you Karen on here, and if I'm not tagging you and just want to use a name...is it Karen?
     
    #4696
  2. Denise Evans

    Denise Evans Supreme Member
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    That's awesome @Yvonne Smith I just go on doing what I'm doing, maybe "he" will come along:) hugs, denise:)
     
    #4697
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  3. Denise Evans

    Denise Evans Supreme Member
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    Good mornin all! I know I am very late for you East Coasters, but I was up til 2, wide awake. I ate beans for dinner and stuffed myself, I don't know why I ate that mucho_O My tummy looked like I was preggers, and I felt so full:( I decided to go out and walk around the property here. I talked to a girlfriend about halfway through the 70 minute'r on my cell, and I guess that's why I just kept walking and yacking. My tummy felt way better, but my back and neck began to hurt. Oh brother, darned if you do, and darned if you don't. So I went up and took a Naproxin hoping when bedtime came I could sleep. I went in at 9:30 to read as usual, but read til 12 I think it was, and tossed and turned til somewhere after 2a.m.

    Oh well, I have something to share to make all of our day look better, I am betting, LOL! This came from my sis this a.m.
    PS if you are offended by the words ass, or shit, do NOT read further k?? Hugs, and have a great day you'all!! Denise

    This is even funnier when you realize it's real!

    Next time you have a bad day think of this guy.

    Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

    Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.5 on FM dial
    in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Read his letter below.


    Hi Sharon,
    Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
    Last week I had a bad day at the office.
    I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
    realize it's not so bad after all.

    Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
    As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
    So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
    Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

    Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
    So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
    Within a few seconds my ass started to burn.
    I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
    In agony I realized what had happened.
    The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
    Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.
    When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.
    I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
    His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
    Needless to say, I aborted the dive.
    I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
    When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
    As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
    The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my ass was swollen shut.
    So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.
    Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
    Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
    May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!
    Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
    Remember, too: It was also a BAD DAY for the jellyfish!
     
    #4698
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  4. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Supreme Member
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    Where do I hide?? :eek: I do not want "love" to find me! :( Been there, done that, and I rather have a cat. :p

    At this stage in my game, all I want is friendship. I don't think I have it in me anymore to give what another human being requires from a relationship anymore, and neither do I want to anymore.

    I think it is time for me to do the introspective thing now.

    @Denise Happyfeet , that was so funny I had to send it to a "few" friends. I laughed so hard Izzy came to see what was going on. I guess I need to laugh more.

    Thank you for the giggles my friend. :) :D :p
     
    #4699
  5. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    I'm with you Ina, don't think I want love either.
     
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  6. Denise Evans

    Denise Evans Supreme Member
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    yeah, made me feel better about my day;) LOL!!

    Depends on what guy I might meet. The right type of man could change my mind, if he exists;)
     
    #4701
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  7. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    I don't even know about that. At our age we can become caregivers easily. I've done that once, a year of watching someone you love die is not pretty in fact with cancer it's pretty ugly....
     
    #4702
  8. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Supreme Member
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    @Denise Happyfeet I like your new avatar. :)

    It must mean your thinking about that little special pup that is meant just for you. I know it's out there, and you'll find it when your meant to. :oops:

    I'll look forward to your next giggle mania. Keep it up. :p
     
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  9. Denise Evans

    Denise Evans Supreme Member
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    Exactly right Ina:) on the avatar. He/she is dressed like a lady-bug for halloweeny:) I know I've asked you before, but what type of pup is Izzy? He is the most adorable thing. I'd like a 10 pounder again, easy to bath etc. and a mix is my fave types.
     
    #4704
  10. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Supreme Member
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    Hi @Denise Happyfeet , Izzy is a Yorky/ Chihuahua, and he weighs nine pounds. So he is right up your alley.

    I have seven herniated disks, so I can not pick up much weight. I'm told not to lift more than 10 pounds, and that makes Izzy just perfect.

    He was found on the side of the road. His mommy was already dead, as well as a couple of his siblings. A man heard something, so he stopped to see what the little noises were. He took home the remaining four pups.

    When I heard the story, I knew I was meant to have one of those pups. That is the reason I say you will know your pup when the time comes.

    Izzy has been my closest companion for the last four years now, and I would give up anything to care for him.
     
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  11. Denise Evans

    Denise Evans Supreme Member
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    I believe in Divine Intervention Ina, and I believe Izzy was meant for you. I have had people try to give me dogs, or show me dogs, and I just have not felt they were for me. I love animals, and would help them all if I could, but a dog has to be a very, good match. I will pray that God will show me a pup that He would have for me, like you knew Izzy was for you:)

    big hugs, denise PS hugs for izzy too:)
     
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  12. K E Gordon

    K E Gordon Veteran Member
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    I would like a dog that was about the size of my last dog. He was around 20 pounds, and fit in a lap nicely. He was also big enough that I could let him outside and not worry much about him. Whatever dog I get would have to like cats! I do think I will have a dog again..but when and where I am not sure. Some dogs are so adorable, and if I can give one a well deserved home I will. I was just at the animal shelter last weekend, but I was donating food. I didn't think I should go in. I could get tempted..:):)
     
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  13. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Supreme Member
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    @Denise Happyfeet and @K E Gordon you are both right. At this stage in our lives we need to make wise choices. If we get pets for our senior years, we need to make positive decisions for the animal as well as ourselves.

    I started a bank saving account for Izzy that will provide for his needs if I die before him. I thought about it, and after my husband died, I put a good amount into the account, and I add a little bit to it each month. If Izzy goes first, I'll donate the funds to the animal shelter.
     
    #4708
  14. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Veteran Member
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    Morning all, another beautiful day hope yours is good. Enjoy x FB_IMG_1443805372989.jpg
     
    #4709
  15. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Veteran Member
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