What, Really, Does A Dying Person Think Of?

Discussion in 'Reading & Writing' started by Michelle Keiser, Mar 22, 2015.

  1. John Donovan

    John Donovan Veteran Member
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    I don't think we can truly answer this until we're put in that situation, but I think that dying people know their end is coming, even those who are healthy. One particular example was when I was 20, I was visiting my grandfather with my parents, and he went into the bathroom. After a few minutes, he came to us, and told his son (my father) to shave him, because God called for him, and he must go. So my dad shaved him, and my grandfather got into his bed, and he passed away after a few seconds. He died of old age, and he went away with a smile on his face. It was a really, really weird experience for me, and I have been thinking about it every now and then.
     
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  2. Faith Marie

    Faith Marie Veteran Member
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    There is such a paradox, in death. We are all aware that we must die, we know others who have died, yet we, can never come to terms with death. I remember when my grandmother died. She was 98 years, and pretty active. She was in good health, and liked to clean up around the yard. We actually had no thought of her dying. She was alert And very involved in the family.
    One afternoon, after cleaning up the yard, she went into her bedroom, selected a dress, and told her daughter, that she wanted to be buried in that dress. Then granny said " I am so tired". She lay on her bed, closed her eyes and died peacefully.
     
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  3. Thomas Windom

    Thomas Windom Very Well-Known Member
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    I realize this is an old thread but I was reading an interesting thread on this topic (dying) in another forum and wondered if there might be one here. I can say quite clearly what my last thought was just before I thought I was dying, “so this is how it ends, sitting in my car, in a gas station parking lot.”

    To this day no one is sure what happened. I was on my way to work, started sweating, head hurt and heart pounding like crazy, just all of a sudden. I pulled off the road into a gas station to collect myself. I started feeling a bit nauseous and decided to go into the station and get a coke to sip on. I grabbed the Coke, got to the counter and had to run out, started having dry heaves. I got back into the car and called my wife and managed to tell her something was wrong and where I was and then she said I quickly became incoherent. I don’t remember much very clearly after that.

    She told me later she called back a couple times but I wasn’t making sense and kept hanging up. She called an ambulance for me. I remember some guy knocking on my window asking if I was OK. I don’t remember the ambulance arriving or the trip to the E.R. My wife said they tested me for blood markers for heart attack but nothing. I eventually after a few hours came to my senses and was able to go home. Still a complete mystery what happened. They wrote “vasovagal syncope” on my discharge form. I was just driving down the road though, doesn’t make sense.
     
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    Last edited: Apr 1, 2023
  4. Mary Stetler

    Mary Stetler Veteran Member
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    Lot of idiopathic stuff out there.
    Sure glad it ended well for you.
     
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  5. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    I was 20 years old and living with my father when he died of pancreatic cancer. He did not have an extended hospital stay, just set up shop on the couch in the living room and kind of withered away. This was back in the day when the visiting nurses taught you how to give shots and loaded you up with a fridge full of Demerol. It was not a good experience. He and I were not close. If he had any thoughts about dying, he never voiced them. And if he had, it would have been the Demerol speaking.

    I almost drowned when I was 13, and still recall seeing newspaper headlines of my frowning flash before my eyes. But there's a difference between some unforeseen catastrophe and having a lingering malady give you time to ruminate over things.
     
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  6. Thomas Stillhere

    Thomas Stillhere Very Well-Known Member
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    I don't feel so bad but I know I am getting pretty old so I try to stay on top of what I do each day and how I feel. To be honest I worry about these 3 cats that live inside with me, I have no one who visits so I could be in here at least one month until The Land Jesus comes round. I wish I could pack and move closer to my youngest sister and her daughters in Killeen Tx, just so I had someone to check on me if needed. I got good results on my blood work and my sinus is under control so I have slept very well the past few nights. Sleeping has always been an issue for me my entire adult life. I have never been an early to bed type and now I am old I get so tired during the day I often take long refreshing naps and feel the energy level come back.

    My biggest issue seems to be my knees and neck pain. I will ask about some braces for the knees that sure would help me. I will never have any surgery for my knees because after decades of an older surgery my Mother developed a bad infection and at an early 90 years died from a knee replacement. She lay there for over a month with no knee in one leg, just removed and sewn back up hoping they could stop the infection but she finally had enough of it and had the support removed and died a peaceful death. This was the height of the virus so my youngest sister was there most of the time to be with her. Less than a year and my sister's husband died from a simple outpatient procedure.

    You just never know when we leave this world no matter the age. All in all I have seen an awful lot of the world and traveled a bit and enjoyed all my working years. Just about everyone that was close to me have all gone now so I have to sit and wonder sometimes how I made it so far. I remember so many things from the war and my heartbeat was a thousand miles an hour and I thought then it would be my heart that killed me. Then of course it is always the heart for everyone, it is the last piece of us that finally rest. I do believe we all start dying the moment we are born, it is only really noticeable at an older age like I am now at 75. My skin is thin and my vessels are all pushing out. I am amazed at these few people who manage to live well past 100.
     
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  7. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    Exactly. My mother died of kidney failure and she was so ready to go after 5 years of dialysis. I remember hearing her from the "code blue" in ICU saying "Just let me go." She was so tired and so sick, and wanted no more hospitals.

    Then my uncle simply keeled over with a massive heart attack while walking down the hallway at his home. I'm sure he didn't have much time to think about it, beyond a "what the hell???" or maybe "This is it."

    @Thomas Stillhere -- I know what you mean. I don't care to live to be 100 if there is no "life" left. Simply being alive is not living.
     
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  8. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
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    I believe that I have written before about being in a bad accident with my little Yugo, many years ago. I was on my way home, with my ex-husband, and we had been visiting with his brother who lived near Seattle.
    We had been shopping at Costco, so the back of the little car was loaded down with groceries, all of my husbands mechanic tools, and a huge Akita-mix dog that his brother had to find a home for.

    It was late evening, I was driving the speed limit on I-5 freeway south, and a drunk driver with a large 3/4 ton truck rear ended me, going over 100 MPH.
    It happened so fast, that at first I was just stunned, and didn’t actually know what happened, but I could see the headlights right in the back of my little car because the truck was smashed onto the car.

    I was trying to steer and keep the car in the road, but the truck was locked on at an angle, which kept forcing my Yugo off to the right side of the road.
    When we went over the steep embankment, we rolled headfirst, and then sideways, landing at the bottom with the truck on top of the smashed little upside down car.

    When we went over the bank, I was sure that I was dying, because I could not see any way that we could possibly survive the crash, and it was like a peace just came over me, and I remember thinking that if it was God’s time for me to die, then it was okay , and I was just ready for that to happen.

    I was amazed to still be alive afterwards, and (sadly) part of what saved my life was that the Akita had been thrown forward into the windshield in front of me when we went headfirst over the bank, so at the bottom, I was facing down with my head protected in a soft pillow of big dog, who died in the crash at some point.
    From this picture, you can’t see how bad the front of the car was smashed on the drivers side, but it was really bashed in and the steering wheel was no where near round anymore it was smashed so bad.

    The truck drivers who stopped actually were able to just pull both of us out of the Yugo, and we walked back up the embankment. Even giving all possible credit to wearing seat belts, this was a miracle for us to have survived.

    718F0E9A-1C36-47FC-8AD7-DF71D13EEEF8.jpeg
     
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  9. Thomas Stillhere

    Thomas Stillhere Very Well-Known Member
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    That was a terrible thing to go through. I once saw a Cadillac early front wheel drive that had been rear ended like you describe and honestly the car folded up into the air from the center behind the driver and the frame was bent to a point at the top of the bend. There is never a shortage of drunks or druggies on our highways. I don't drive much even during the day and no driving at night. The only time I would drive at night would be to go to the emergency room for something in the evening, simply because if I don't drive and get released I have no way to get back home. Now it if were life threatening I would use the ambulance it cost me nothing. There was a time I could get a ride with a sheriff but in today's world the lawyers have made it impossible to get help or a ride home due to them suing everyone, even a city for a deputy giving an old guy a ride home.
     
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  10. Thomas Windom

    Thomas Windom Very Well-Known Member
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    I would be worried sick about my companion animals. Do you know there are apps you can get for your phone that require you to basically just click that you’re OK every day? If you don’t check in one day, it will send out notifications to people you have listed beforehand. A guy I know who is a real hermit and lives alone with his dog uses one because he’s worried about it.
     
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  11. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    I found a couple by searching on Wellness Check Apps.
     
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  12. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    It is a grim subject but does need to be addressed. My mom had a massive stroke at barley 70,otherwise she was very healthy,not on any meds. Her doctor said she was the healthy of all his patients. But she was a chronic worrier,and had just found out my dad had aggressive lung cancer. He died a year later. His was the most agonizing type of death, and I left on purpose before he went. We were not close, and a hard person. As bad as his sins were,I would not wish his type of death on anyone. I did look after him during his illness, but just could not bring myself to stay to the very end. I hope to go as mom did, quick. My own near death experience in 2017 changed me some. Bad as it were at the time, knew it was not the end for just yet. I had no real thoughts, just blurred visions, of family and nurses and doctors standing over me working quickly. I find it odd, that many leave in agony, while others go willingly and peacefully. I ask above frequently -is this the day Lord ?
     
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  13. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    I just remembered nearly dying of anaphylaxis in the early 1990s. I got stung by a bunch of yellow jackets. There were no flashbacks…I just passed out at Urgent Care.
     
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  14. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    We've seen several of Becky's videos about being with the dying.
    You can start at 2minutes thru 6 to get an idea of what she does.
     
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  15. Thomas Stillhere

    Thomas Stillhere Very Well-Known Member
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    I flew as a door gunner on the D models for about a month before moving over to the gunships. You always had to fly that first month in country on the D Models to get accustomed to our operations. We had what was known as swing flights where one ship would spend the day with an outside friendly unit and of course that also included the ARVN units we supported. Most of the time it was flying supplies into these little V shaped outpost and they were very hard to land in and take off due to the small size. It was one of the first times I was almost killed when the pilot left seat was hovering into one of these little outpost, his seat floor lock unlocked and slid all the way back and he pulled the stick nose up and we were looking at the sky all of sudden. Both he and the right seat managed to react fast enough to get us straight but there was a American Sgt there on the ground and he told us we were no more than a couple inches of sticking the tail boom stinger into the ground. Had that happened all of us would have been killed and all those around us on the ground. It happened so fast you have no time to think or do anything, had it touched we would have done a backward rollover onto our top and I don't like to think what that would have been like. I always get off topic but I was going to mention while flying these swing missions I had to load dead bodies and unload and it is the most terrible duty to ever have. I have moved headless men wrapped in their poncho and in the process of dragging them large chunks of steel from artillery rounds or mortars would litter the floor of the ship. At end of day you would have to take up the floor panels to wash all the blood out before it got so bad you couldn't stand the smell the next day. There were times it wasn't so bad and I got to see the entire Delta the first year. On swing we would sometimes stop at some of the way out Special Forces locations where they lived with the natives and had their own little two story house. They had great chow but no way I would want to live way out there. My first month had a lot of memories but the next 3 years would bring more memories than imaginable. You have to witness it to really comprehend what life is like even in a little war like we were engaged with. It was no police action as the hacks love to say .
     
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