So sorry to hear of your loss, @Hal Pollner . I have been dreading having to perhaps go through the same thing. We have always assumed that I would go before her, but things can happen in a moment that changes everything. I hope you can successfully navigate this, even without a rudder.
I wonder if others experience the loss the way I do. They say it's supposed to get better every day, but I miss her as much today as the the day she left this world. Some days are hard.
QUOTE="Dwight Ward, post: 532620, member: 767"]I wonder if others experience the loss the way I do. They say it's supposed to get better ever day, but I miss her as much today as the the day she left this world. Some days are hard.[/QUOTE] Little off subject but my mom died in 1966 and one day in church in 90s I was asked about my mom and I lost it
I think we all deal with the death of a loved one differently. It has been 56 years since my first experience with the tragic death of a friend that was like a sister to me. 50 years since my baby and only child died and her father, my husband, committed sucide within minutes after she died. 50 years a widow and I still have "wounds that will not heal and a teardrop in my eye" which is a line in one of my story poems. It seems the older I get the more these wounds freshen. It must be part of getting old.
"I Will Follow You Into The Dark" Love of mine, someday you will die But I'll be close behind I'll follow you into the dark No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white Just our hands clasped so tight Waiting for the hint of a spark In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black I held my tongue as she told me "Son, fear is the heart of love" So I never went back You and me have seen everything to see From Bangkok to Calgary And the soles of your shoes Are all worn down The time for sleep is now But it's nothing to cry about 'Cause we'll hold each other soon In the blackest of rooms If Heaven and Hell decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark Then I'll follow you into the dark
Judy has been gone for just 46 days, and I'm finding that Callie is too young, Stacey is too fat, and Lydia has confiscated my car keys. Not many options left for an 85-year-old, but I have a longshot cookin'... Hal
Gloria, the only relative I have is my Daughter, who lives 2000 miles away in Chicago. We are currently discussing ways to get my life back in order again. She is the one who signed me up with my local Caregivers, at $700 per week. H.P.
I am confused about how being too young or fat has anything to do with the caregiver's performance. I do understand about taking your car keys and maybe it was a mandate by your daughter in your best interest since you admit you do have dementia at times. Do you have caregivers in your home 24/7? You are never going to replace your wife with caregivers, even a dozen of them. I am glad you are discussing your future with your daughter.
Perhaps they do not have high aches. I mean, that is a preference of his. Hal, I do hope you and your daughter have a really good end game in mind. I think it would be nice if she could stay with you for a month in order to put things into a proper perspective but it is what it is. Chin up Amigo, you seem to be weathering things as well as can be expected.
When my uncle was about your age he was in a similar situation. His son was in another part of PA and his daughter in CA. He chose to move to an elder care home in CA to be near his daughter so she could visit and he would have care as well.