Newly Diagnosed And Frankly, It's Scary

Discussion in 'Health & Wellness' started by Beth Gallagher, Jan 30, 2021.

  1. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    Well, the panty peeing joke has abandoned my mind so all I have is old Texas Cowboy jokes modified by yours truly just for SOC. Not sure they will make you smile.

    I had an old Texas cowboy over for chili last afternoon. He asked if my chili would make him fart. "Darn tootin," I replied.

    I should have had him over for chili at high noon. We could have had a toot out at the Ol Fay corral.

    "Where did you cook these cow punchin beans." He asked? "On the range silly," I replied.

    The poor old fart was bankrupt but he didn't complain since he didn't have any beef.

    He was an old retired range rider. I just called him de-ranged.

    He was coughing and said he got covid from his old horse, a retired saddle bronc. I said no worries you have bronc-itis.

    He said he was going as a ghost for Halloween to show off his new boo-ts.

    I asked why he was considering a dachshund instead of a big ranch dog. He said because he preferred gittin a-long little doggie.

    He was an 85-year-old Texas ranch dinosaur in his cowboy hat and boots. I call him Tyrannosaurus Tex.

    He asked if I believed old Texas cowboys come back in another form after they die. I said yes, it is called reintarnation.

    I finally called the assisted living van to come to pick him up. Even though I was dressed for the occasion, he just couldn't get a hitch in his gitty up.

    Important footnote I probably should impose a 10-day ban on myself (before Ken does) for such lame and limp jokes. I think my behavior will improve once I am a year older and a veteran member.
     
    #1021
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2021
  2. Bibbi Wright

    Bibbi Wright Very Well-Known Member
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    @Beth Gallagher A bit late: we only got home a while ago, but here come today’s hugs.
     
    #1022
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2021
  3. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    I got ya beat with old Red Skelton joke,

    " A man told me he was so hungry hadn't had a bite in a week,so I bit him ".
     
    #1023
  4. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    I forgot to post this important update: my hair is returning!!! I even have little sideburns now. So exciting. :D
     
    #1024
  5. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    Thats great Beth, it is so good to see things turning around for you.
     
    #1025
  6. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    You are "horning in" on @John Brunner 's territory, Faye. He should be along soon with his rimshot smilie. :D
     
    #1026
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  7. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    @Faye Fox

    tenor.gif
     
    #1027
  8. Bibbi Wright

    Bibbi Wright Very Well-Known Member
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    @Beth Gallagher Today marks the halfway mark. You’re doing so well, keep it up girl. Great to hear your hair’s coming back. Know the feeling.
    Hugs
     
    #1028
  9. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    Johnny's territory? He doesn't know beans!!! I challenge that 3 beat drummer to a high noon toot out at the Ol Fay Corral.
     
    #1029
  10. Bibbi Wright

    Bibbi Wright Very Well-Known Member
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    @Beth Gallagher Hey there hun, now you’re halfway there! Enjoy your weekend and recharge your batteries before starting the last leg of your journey.
     
    #1030
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  11. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    Hey sweetie. I'm thrilled to be halfway done with this with no significant side effects thus far. Hope you're having a great weekend.
     
    #1031
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  12. Bibbi Wright

    Bibbi Wright Very Well-Known Member
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    Hey there chickadee. Thinking of you today as you start week four of radiation. Do you glow in the dark yet?

    Love and hugs
     
    #1032
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  13. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    Go Beth Go !
     
    #1033
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  14. Bibbi Wright

    Bibbi Wright Very Well-Known Member
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    Hey babe, hope tummy behaves today so you don’t have to reschedule again.

    Hug of the day is now coming your way.
    XXXX
     
    #1034
  15. Bibbi Wright

    Bibbi Wright Very Well-Known Member
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    Halfway through week four today hun.

    Loads of love and hugs are speeding across the Atlantic
     
    #1035
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