What is the best way to lose a friend? Feel free to interpret the question however you like, or expand on it.
The most common way is for one of you to get into a relationship. Goodbye, placeholder! I don't know if that's "losing" as opposed to "leaving behind." I've found that this is a frequent way that single people lose friends. I've never lost a friend due to some huge irreconcilable blow-out. We just seem to drift apart. Phone calls and visits stop, and that's all there is to it. But I've never had close friends where we get together often to do stuff, other than weekly racquetball and stuff like that.
True enough, friends tend to drift apart once one of them gets into a serious relationship or marries. While the friendship might survive, it will never be the same. Moving away is another good way to lose a friend. I still have people who I consider to be friends, and who I have contact with online or through text messages, but it's not like we're ever going to be going out for coffee again. Other than that, betrayal is a good way to lose a friend.
Getting older and people have a family and new friends. Decades go by and it is never the same and few accept you as you are today. I had a normal fun upbringing and my total friend group was completely gone by 1980. I left and never returned until decades more passed and by then all had moved away.
If I "lend" someone money, I pretty much kiss it goodbye at that point. If it comes back later (and is has), then it's a pleasant surprise. If it doesn't, then it's not always "the elephant in the room" between us.
On the one occasion I can remember when a friend asked me to lend them a significant amount of money, I told him that I would not, but that I would give it to him instead. He could repay it or not, but I didn't want him to put himself out to get the money back to me. I told my son something similar on the single occasion when he asked to borrow some money after he married and was on his own. Both of them repaid me, but I meant it when I told them that they didn't have to.
I've loaned 2 brothers large sums of money and told them the same thing: pay it back if you're in a position to, but it's not a debt. -The first brother owned his own business (car repair shop) and needed the boost. -The second brother should have just crashed & burned for his own long-term good, but there were 2 little kids along for the ride. I know I'll never get the money back from the second brother. I suspect he's continued to bleed others dry. The first brother paid me back years later when he sold his business to retire. It was a windfall, since I had completely forgotten about it.
If they ask me for directions, forget it they're gone I have the worst GPS system. Ha I left a lot of friends in brooklyn When I left right after high school to move to Long Island. We Didn't have cell phones, so it was hard to keep in touch. Eventually, we just drifted apart. I haven't been in contact With any of them since the sixties. I did make new friends most from work but they're gone now also, Some past, others since retirement with no daily work contact, we communicate maybe once a year.
I agree, I also won't be tolerant of being undermined. Disagreeing with me is fine, but don't go out of your way, sabotage what i'm trying to do.