10. The Irish are supposedly laid-back and put things off. The following is a conversation between an Irishman and a Mexican: Irish: “Is there a word in Spanish for postponing something?” Mexican: “Yes, the word is mañana. Irish: “What does it mean?” Mexican: “it means tomorrow.” Irish: “Well, do you have anything without that sense of urgency?”
Thank you, John, it seems to be a slow process. Last couple days were fewer breathing problems. Hope you're having a good day and don't waste the good ones, but then I'm probably preaching to the choir. I don't see you wasting any days on negativity.
Joke 11: Randolph Scott was popular actor in the early to mid 1900s. A story about him says that he wanted to join an exclusive men’s club in Hollywood. During his interview, he was told that the club did not accept actors. He responded by saying, “But I am not an actor and I have more than 100 movies to prove it.”
Someone said, "Sex is like computers but the other way around. With computers the software is put into the hardware."
Joke 13. A priest is talking to a group of men about marriage. He asks, “How many of you have been married for 15 years?” About half the hands go up. Then he asks, “How many of you have been married for 20 years?” This time, only a few hands go up. The priest continues, “How many have been married for 25 years?”. Only Joe raises his hand. The priest asks Joe, “What did you do for your 25th wedding anniversary?” Joe answers, “I love my wife so much that I took her to Italy for a month. We had a wonderful time. ” Joe continues, “In another week, we will be married for 50 years. The priest says, “Outstanding! What will you do for your 50th anniversary. Joe says, “Well, I think I will go back to Italy and get my wife.”
Joke 14. A young lawyer is working late one night when his door opens and in walks Satan himself. “I have an offer,” says Satan. “If you give me your soul and the soul of everyone in your family, I’ll make you a full partner in your firm.” The lawyer stares at the devil for a full minute before demanding, “So what’s the catch?
Joke 15: Question. Why did God create snakes before He created politicians? ------------------------------------------------- Answer: He needed the practice.
16. Question: What is the difference between my ex-wife and a battery? ----------------------------------- Answer: A battery has a positive side.
17. Question. If you shine a flashlight into a blonde’s right ear, what do you see in her left ear.? ------------------------- Answer: Light.
Joke 18. Question: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? ----------- Answer: Because anybody that can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.