A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum

Discussion in 'Make Me Laugh' started by John Houlihan, Sep 14, 2022.

  1. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    A woman wanted a parrot, but her husband said no," they curse and do bad things". One day in a pet store she asks the owner if his parot cursed, " ' he said no, pull up the left leg and he sings The National Anthem, pull up the right leg and he says, 'the Pledge of Allegiance'.
    She bought the parot and took it home and her husband said' I told you no parrots they curse, She explained this one didn't do bad things and told him what the man told her.
    After studying the parrot, a little he asks 'what would happen if you pulled up both legs.
    The parrot said," I'd fall on my ass you silly SOB".
     
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  2. John Houlihan

    John Houlihan Very Well-Known Member
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    Good one! I'll tell my drinking buddies.
     
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  3. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    I was told that joke by mama in the 50s when I was a kid.

    Here vis another one she told me,

    A black man was working as a janitor in a church and when the rules changed, they called him up into the office to sign some paper work.
    He put an X on the paper, he had never learned to read and write. They fired him because he had no education.
    He took his paycheck and bought some apples for a dime each, then sold them for a quarter, realizing he had just doubled his money, he bought more apples and sold them till he had a little roadside stand, that did well and he kept making money till he had a farmers market and became a millionaire.
    Now he is a very rich man,they ask him to sign legal documents, he signed with an X. The man was amazed, you mean you became this rich and without an education. What would you have been, just what could you have been if you could read?
    The old man just laughed and said, well I'd be a janitor in a church.
     
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  4. John Houlihan

    John Houlihan Very Well-Known Member
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    Love it! He who laughs last, laughs best.
     
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  5. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    Exactly John, also is that a joke or called something else? Anyway it is inspiring, huh?
     
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  6. John Houlihan

    John Houlihan Very Well-Known Member
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    Yes, it was inspiring. Here is a similar X joke:

    Charles Steinmetz was known as the “Electrical Wizard” at General Electric during the early days of the twentieth century. On one occasion after his retirement when the other engineers at GE were utterly baffled by the breakdown of a complex machine, they asked Steinmetz if he would come back and pinpoint the problem. Steinmetz spent several minutes walking around the machine, then took a piece of chalk and made a cross mark on one particular piece of equipment. To their amazement, it turned out to be the precise location of the breakdown.

    A few days later GE received a bill from Steinmetz for $10,000, a staggering sum in those days for a few moments’ work. They returned the bill to him with a request that he itemize it. He did:

    Making an X $1.00

    Knowing where to put it… $9,999.00
     
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  7. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    LOL thats right all that study has to be worth something, a lot.
     
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  8. John Houlihan

    John Houlihan Very Well-Known Member
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    Marie, I thought of a similar story about Pablo Picasso. His paintings are worth millions of dollars, ranging up into the hundreds of millions for major works. Here is the story:

    He was in a restaurant and drew a sketch on a napkin. A lady recognized him and asked how much she could pay for the napkin. Picasso said $20,000. The lady was shocked, “But it only took you two minutes to draw.” Picasso replied, “No, it took me my whole life.”
     
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  9. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    Another good story people who don't earn it don't appreciate its worth.
    It's kinda like people complaining about what doctors charge, why would they go through all that intense study to give it away?
    Some doctors are not good people and I do stay involved in my care as much as possible, but most deserve to be rich.

    One semester of Plant Science in Hort class was enough for me. All that science is not easy.
     
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