Alone At 85, Now What?

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Hal Pollner, Jul 21, 2021.

  1. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    Sorry for your loss.
     
    #76
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  2. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    arches.

    De agony of de feet.
     
    #77
  3. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    My daughter will be visiting from Chicago for a few days, and perhaps she can take charge of an Estate Sale. (where I will be offering everything (shoes, clothing, books, and small items) for free).

    I apologize for my remarks about my Caregivers, who are extremely nice and wiling to do extra favors, such as food shopping and driving me to medical appointments.

    Hal
     
    #78
  4. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    I am thinking they all have high arches and that was a requirement for their employment. In the past, Hal has been deeply in love with my high arches, but when I suggested his getting organized using a notebook, I was kicked to the curb like a flat-footed bag lady.
     
    #79
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  5. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
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    I am sure that it has to be a hard adjustment for you, @Hal Pollner l losing your wife of so many years, and now having to depend on caretakers.
    Caretakers are never meant to replace a spouse , just to help a person get through the necessary things each day. Having several of them probably makes it even harder, as opposed to having just your wife to take care of you.
    It sounds like you are making the best of a hard situation, and I think that it looks like you are moving forward with the plans for an estate sale.
    Will you be selling the house and moving somewhere close to your daughter, or do you know yet ?
     
    #80
  6. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    My biggest desire is not just to prolong my life, but to SHARE it !

    Harold, age 85.
     
    #81
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  7. Lon Tanner

    Lon Tanner Supreme Member
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    How do you wish to share it Hal? I share mine on this forum and with emails and texting. I will also share my life by living in close proximity with others needing to share.
     
    #82
  8. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    I would like to share it with another person who is also alone and elderly.

    My warm friend Yvonne comes to mind...she has recently offered to come over and help with household chores, but not as frequently as the powerful Caregivers! Frankly, I would like to trade her for the Caregivers if she would consent to move in with me; we are quite compatible in our interests, tastes, and and personality types.

    I have even offered her a weekly salary, although not the $700 I am charged by the Caregivers!

    Yowzah!
     
    #83
  9. Lon Tanner

    Lon Tanner Supreme Member
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    How old is your WARM FRIEND? Does she have any potential health problems? I have four ladies here that I consider Warm Friends but would not want anyone of them to move in with me.
     
    #84
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  10. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
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    It sounds like it is costing you almost as much for caretakers to stop by and help you, as it would for you to live in a nice assisted living home like @Lon Tanner lives in.
    Have you thought about moving to an assisted living home, @Hal Pollner? You would be able to make new friends there, and they have all kinds of social activities that you could be involved in.
    I think that Lon makes an excellent point !
    Just because someone is a good friend, that does not mean that they would be someone suitable to live with, especially if it going to be financially based.
     
    #85
  11. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    You wrote before that she was a friend of your late wife which is maybe why she is offering to help because you also wrote before that she never answered your emails and also refused a couple of expensive gifts you tried to buy for her.

    Dunno. It is your choice of course but jumping feet first into a pool before checking to see if there’s water in it could lead to some injuries that wouldn’t have occurred if you had taken your time.
     
    #86
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  12. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Supreme Member
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    No one can replace the love and care of Judy Hal. You need help though...so just take it one day and one step at a time...and be kind to yourself and those who are trying to help you.
     
    #87
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  13. Mary Stetler

    Mary Stetler Veteran Member
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    I assumed you were using a bit of humor about the caregivers. That is what I usually do in a tough spot.
    I lost a husband and was crushed for quite a long time too. I was told not to make big changes right away but it is different for each of us.
    Hugs to you, Hal. Feel her in your heart. She is still with you.
     
    #88
  14. Lon Tanner

    Lon Tanner Supreme Member
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    The more I think about Hal and his living requirements the more I think he should consider assisted living like I have. Hell's Bell's --I couldn't handle living with a sweet warm and loving cat let alone a senior female friend.
     
    #89
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  15. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    View attachment 48491 View attachment 48491 View attachment 48491
    NO HONKIN' WAY will I be selling this rancho!
    View attachment 48481
    Hal
    Assisted Living?

    HAR HAR HAR!

    Why my model railroad room is more spacious than an entire assisted living apartment!
     

    Attached Files:

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