Even though I loved being married my one and only time, I would never marry again now. I don't even like the thought of living with someone anymore.
He's been engaged twice and one of those times was to this lady. He definitely doesn't seem like the "marrying" type to me. Perhaps she is the same way now, but has been married before. As for me, if anything was to happen to my wife, I would absolutely not get married again and most likely never have a relationship with another lady again.
Yes, after a great marriage it's just hard to find someone that measure up the "gone" spouse....plus I'm my case, it gets difficult with kids and grandkids. I've spent my whole life with just my kids and grandkids, don't think I'd want to split the time with someone else's probably the other person doesn't want to either...that's just my opinion.
BIL UPDATE: He and her have pushed up the date he flies to see her. It will be Memorial Day Weekend. He told us that he really misses her and they talk a number/text a number of times during the week-weekends. He told us last night that they will talk more about him moving up there when he see's her. His plan is to store a few things in a small storage unit, as he says (in his words) "just in case". His current plans are to move up there in 3 to 6 months, but, they will discuss this when they see each other. To me, from what I know about him, he's thinking more about the sexual part of their relationship rather than anything else. I could be very wrong, but. Actually, he could come back from this visit and tell us "absolutely no way" or everything could go great. I keep reiterating to him, "visiting someone is a whole lot different than living with them". He says he understands, but I think his hormones are telling him "go for it". We will see.
Yeah, I can understand the visiting and talking on phone isn't the same as living with someone. I've been talking to my ex lately but just as friends, when he starts walking down memory lane and saying things like "remember how much fun blah blah blah was". I tell him I have to go... While it is tempting to think that a man around the house would be nice, in reality...it wouldn't be, at least not with him. We tried 2 times and it didn't work...why would it a third time??
I really, and I do mean REALLY, like your thinking here. If a man is meant for you to meet, it will happen. If not, you sure sound like you can handle the rest of your life without one.
I think that you have touched on something here that is really important in a relationship, @Chrissy Cross , and that is that the two people must LIKE each other. Just being romantically involved, or even being in love with someone is not the same thing as actually enjoying spending time with that person. I was thinking about just this same thing yesterday, as a matter of fact. When I was married to my children's father, we loved each other; but with the drinking and drug use, plus he was just a very angry person, most of the time I actually didn't like him very much, or even want to be around him. He felt my rejection, and I am sure that made him even more angry with me. So, even though we were together for around 30 years, most of the time, I didn't really feel like I was loved, and probably, he didn't either. Now, I know how comfortable I am being around Bobby, and I can feel that he is also happy being with me. It is just a warm feeling that he likes me for the person that I am,( an acceptance, if you will) and I have not felt that for a very long time before Bobby and I got married.
A few new details: Wife's brother wasn't exactly telling us really what has been going on. IOW, he sort of made the relationship sound better than it actually is. Was having dinner on Saturday night and he called. He told us that him and the lady had their first spat. There was a tornado warning going on in her area and he was worried about her. He tried calling her, but couldn't get thru. Well, turns out the lady let her grandkids use her cell to play games and the battery went dead. At the time, she was at her daughter (or son's) home and no way to keep her phone charged. He wasn't to happy about this and told her so. She told him that she had no emergency phone number for him, so he gave her his boss's number and also wanted my wife's (his sister) number as well. At first, I was against that and then wife and I decided it was ok. We also let him know that she needs to know that we don't keep our cell phones on all night and wife doesn't take calls at work, except from me, if need be. Then he went on to tell us that she doesn't allow him to drink alcohol when he's there. Don't know how much of a "deal breaker" this will be later, because he does like his Captain Morgan Spiced Rum. And, while talking to me, he used the "f" word three different times. Unless he's been drinking, he doesn't use that word. I stopped him during our conversation and told him that he had just used the word three different times. That would definitely be a "no, no" around her, he told me. We also found out that she likes going to church on Sunday morning with a friend. Well, dear old BIL doesn't go to church period. So, that walk thru the "Rose Garden" that he was portraying between them isn't so "rosy" after all. Interesting, hugh?
Well, looks like it's not the match made in Heaven he said it was and sounds more like a match from hell...looks like you don't have to worry about it, it's not going to go too far.
Yes, we were pretty surprised when he told us these "new" things. Wife still thinks they have a chance, but I'm not nearly as optimistic as she is. BTW, was going to take an extended break from the forum, but found out just how hard that is to do. Just too many nice folks on here and interesting-to-very interesting topics not to reply to.
I was wondering where you were...thought maybe you were either enjoying your boat or your stomach bug was still an issue. Know what you mean though ...I've done the same.
First, a friendly "Thanks" for thinking about me. One of the problems about boating on our local river, compared to boating on the two lakes in Colorado that we use to go to..........tides. If the tide isn't high enough, and at the right time of day, a boat can easily get stuck on a sandbar, which is definitely not fun. Besides that, wife works during the week, so only have the weekend to get the boat on the water. Weather, smoke and tides can keep us off of the water. As far as my stomach flu went, it pretty much took me a week plus to get rid of it.
BIL update: He went to see this old girlfriend over Memorial Day Weekend. He told me, before he went, that neither of them could wait until 4th of July weekend to see each other. This time he had to pay for his flight. They had already talked about, and agreed upon, that he would quit his job and move to her place. So, the situation now: All is a "go" with him moving from Florida to Louisiana and living with her. Guess this last visit (Memorial Day Weekend) turned out very good for him. Apparently, it doesn't matter to her that he doesn't want much-to-anything to do with his family (wife and I and his other sisters, nieces). When we ask him if he had a picture of her that we could see, he said that she doesn't like her picture being distributed. We do know one thing, she sure doesn't look like the picture we have of her and him some 42 years ago! We only hope he's making the right decision about moving there and living with her.
When I talked to him this afternoon, I told him "In all sincerity guy, if something happens up there between you and her, be sure to give us a call and we'll work something out." However, his plan is, if something does happen, as in a breakup, he will get his own place and continue living there. He told me that Florida is too expensive to live in.