Unfortunately, or whatever, wife and I have specific types of people we do and don't want to be friends with. There are those that smoke and cuss and that is a definite "no, no" for us. There are those with kids and grandkids and that is a "no" as well. There are also those that don't want to be friends with gun owners, of which we are. We aren't nearly as "open-minded" about certain things that others are. I have a very humorous (and sometimes sarcastic) side to me that some people plainly don't like. IOW, we are very picky about who we are friends with and that's the way we both like it.
Well, when we called him yesterday, he was watching college football and she was reading a book. Don't know if he has stopped drinking. Wife said "wait awhile before we ask him". Part of his weekends before were made up of Captain Jacks Spiced Rum and Miller Lite Beer watching NFL, college football and NASCAR. He told us that she outright told him "no drinking, period". Like he going to stop cold turkey.......nah, don't think so. Also wanted to ask him if he is going to church now, but decided that was another question we'd wait on. He told us she pretty much goes to church ever Sunday. He's definitely not a "church goer", but who knows. She has her grandson (or great-grandson) daily for babysitting and he is there. He said "watching the little tike is fun", but we wonder just how long that "feeling" will last. However, right now he's feeling "right at home" with this stuff. Will any of it change? We don't know, but do know that it sure isn't the lifestyle he was used to, or the one he ever talked about that he wanted.
Sounds like it's a different season in his life and hopefully he will enjoy this season whether it lasts or not. I'm happy he's not alone anymore and hope he finds his new life brings him contentment and joy.
But, one thing we do know, he was very happy being alone. I asked him a number of times, in the past, about a girlfriend, and all he could say was "I can't afford one" and "she'd better like NASCAR and football". Now look what he's got..........a lady that reads a book while he is watching those things. Interesting how a person can say how much they require in something, then accept something else.
I don't think your BIL just accepted something else Cody...I believe he was ready for a change and he and his "friend" had unfinished business between them that they both want to see where it leads.
Babs, I just asked his sister, my wife, who knows him extremely well, as she should, about his feelings, before he reconnected with this lady, and she told me the only change he was ready for was to quit his job/retire. As far as a relationship goes, she said “no way”. I totally agree with her.
I too say no way to a relationship, I'm too set in my ways but if I fell deeply in love...I'd go for it.
Well Cody this is just my opinion but I can't agree with either you or your wife...when your BIL has moved in with this lady and is trying out a relationship with her. Even if they both find it isn't going to work...they are definitely trying to see if it will.
I think that @Chrissy Cross is SO totally right in her statement that “love changes things”. Before I met Bobby, I had been divorced for quite a while, had my little home up in the forests of northern Idaho, rode my horse on the trails through the mountains, went to church on sundays, and I was pretty content with my life. On the other end of the continent, @Bobby Cole was busy being the director of a homeless rescue mission in Charlotte, NC, and was contented with his life as well. We “met” each other on a Christian website and starting conversing through emails, which eventually led to us meeting each other and getting married. We have different likes and abilities, but we both let each other be ourselves, and we give each other all of the love and support that we can. Often, we are doing almost the same thing as your BIL, @Cody Fousnaugh . Bobby will be watching some movie or television program that he enjoys, and I am there with my nose in a book, happily reading. I never expected to have this much love in my life, and even though I was almost 60 when Bobby and I came into each other’s lives, it was well worth the wait.
But, we aren’t talking about his “moving in with her”. We are talking about his feelings about his job, and a relationship with any lady, before she even contacted him. Please note the word “before”, in the last sentence.
Actually Cody...we have been talking about all of those things and more in these posts...not just the before the lady likes of your BIL but even if we had been talking just about the before....your BIL has a right to change his mind and try new things like he is doing now. I'm happy for your BIL and I do hope he and his lady have many happy years together. I love my husband very much but while we have much in common that we share together, we also have many things we like separately and enjoy on our own too.
What I could never figure out, or understand, is how a couple could be very different in their hobbies/likes and still marry or even stay together. When my wife and I met, we were absolutely shocked at how many things we had in common. We did change each other, in some ways. She taught me how to say “please” and “thank you” more often and become a better Christian. I taught her the sport of rodeo and had her get rid of her pointed cowboy boots and got her a pair of Roper boots. Her mom even said to me, “why can’t your rodeo friend just accept her the way she is?”. I said, “they just won’t.” She was very glad I helped her change. I got her interested in guns and shooting and she loves it. It’s really hard for me to understand couples that have very little-to-nothing in common.
We are happy for him, but obviously you don’t know him like we do. After 6 months, or a year from now, we will then see how he’s feeling and how they will handle any disagreements.
My husband and I were like night and day. We had a great marriage until he died. Everybody is different and different things work for different people. It was his personality and how he treated me that attracted me to him. So what if all his interests were different than mine...it didn't matter. At least he was interesting and I learned new things from him....