We must be related. My mother sometimes made vague references to not knowing what her real maiden name was. I know from inference that her mother died when she was young, but I have no idea what the situation with her father was. When she died we were going through her documents, and there were conflicting birth documents in the briefcase. They looked almost like the prints you would get from microfiche. I don't know if they were original or somehow obtained from the post-WWII chaos that was London. My father's lineage was no more stable than that, either. I've never met any grandparent. This is why it fascinates me to be at Homecoming for a church that was founded in the 1700s (Patrick Henry signed the founder's license to perform marriage ceremonies) and to meet people who directly trace their roots back to that man and even earlier. I cannot imagine.
Apologies to you Hal and have prayed that you find peace throughout the whole very sad transition. That said, the way you worded your preference indicated to me that you were writing about yourself and the OP asks what your preferences are for yourself.
Cremation. I don't want my bones exhumed someday and also the idea of having my blood drained and filling me with formaldehyde is just too barbaric and macabre.
There's a lot of things in life that having choices has added stress to, versus just accepting "what is" as everyone around us has done/is doing. The topic of funerals and all that surrounds them is one of them.
I mentioned in another thread that my ex-husband passed away early in July, and Robin took me out for the memorial services. We went to Seattle , and had a memorial there with his whole family, most of whom live in Western Washington, and it was a happy/sad time together. We all took turns telling stories and things we remembered over the years. Then, we went back to Idaho, where my son lives, and picked out a beautiful spot on the property beneath the pine trees, and that is where we buried his ashes. Altogether, it was a very meaningful time for the whole family. The morning after Robin and I got back home, my friend, Joy, (who is like a sister to me) called and said that her husband had passed away suddenly that morning. She went through all of the traditional funeral customs, open casket viewing, church service, and graveyard service at burial. She sent me pictures of everything. It really upset me, and I realized that I simply do not want to see anymore dead people, and this is definitely NOT how I want my family to have their last memories of me when I die. So, definitely, for my part, I prefer the way of having cremation and a memorial service instead of a funeral and burial.