Thanks @Holly Saunders I just wanted to point out that all the planning in the world doesn't prepare you for the unexpected. I felt incredibly sorry for myself for 6 months until one of the kids asked me if they should go ahead and have a tombstone engraved with Grieving Widow or would I prefer to be known for accomplishing something else in the years I had left. This is when I decided to get on with myself and quit being pathetic.
I thought early on about which one of us three girls was going to take care of our mother. I don't think my sisters did as much as me. My mother always had her own place until Johnny persuaded her to come and live with us. I had asked her but she refused that's how independent she was. When my mother was feeling so bad that I knew it was that time I told her crying that I didn't want her to go to a nursing home (to die). Three days later she passed away at the hospital.
I take Aricept every day and I've an excellent memory. Many care givers I know are fearful of becoming like their charges.
Lois, it's my understanding that those in mild or moderate dementia are prescribed this drug. What I do and take is to NOT get to this point. And yes many caregivers are very fearful of becoming like their charges.
I first learned of this medication some years ago and spoke with my doctor about it's usage. He felt it was a good preventative against early dementia and prescribed it for me. I've taken it ever since.
Something safe and natural like Cognizin to Prevent AND Reverse brain problems caused by aging and strokes is another choice to consider
Many fall into the caregiving roll by happenstance. Few choose this journey while most have the 'choice' thrust upon them. Fear of what may happen in their future makes it easier to wear blinders to the obvious facts. This vocation is really not meant for anyone... but everyone will certainly find themselves unprepared for most eventualities and there are many. Early on I've found a passion for providing comfort to people and animals in need. Some were able to nurse themselves back to health, while others could only be comforted by another's presence before passing. There are several factors which may contribute to providing quality care all depending on any particular situation. One way I've been able to mitigate issues was by seeking assistance from the community. Especially since all too often immediate and distant relatives lack the capability or presence to be there for this journey. Recently I found my new calling. Included in the care of individuals, I will be dedicating my efforts to providing to the needs of those who bear their own burdens while assisting those needing their attention... a caregiver's caregiver of sorts. Realizing that even with my extensive experience there is so much more to learn. I remain resolute while formalizing a strategy, bringing together the elements and involving everyone I can muster to shape this organically into a sustainable organization, so yes, I'm probably speaking to you. I am counting on the guidance from the current group of people who are finding themselves already under someone else's care. Seeking even more from everyone else who wants to set the groundwork on creating an environment of caring which they hope will be provided for them in the future. The task may seem daunting or even impossible but I'm feeling the moment as the world seems it's ready to shift to a more socially conscious understanding which is ageless.
i had a similar experience as the person in this story. after being treated rather unfairly, compared to my siblings, the responsibility of my mother's post stroke care became my responsibility. we managed to heal a lot of old wounds and learn to enjoy moments of each other's company and came to better understand much of the past. As she nursed her mom through cancer and dementia, a tense relationship began to heal
This is a fantastic way children ought to be able to learn from their parents to avoid disease all their life. For the most part. But sadly, most never find out.
Subject to change at any time >>> "Today, he owns a residence that boasts a million-dollar view of the rolling Pacific." https://www.sandiegouniontribune.co...-and-parking-at-the-beach-20190317-story.html "Living on pennies with a million-dollar view: how car campers survive in beach parking lots"
Lon and I seldom saw eye to eye on the open forum but we did spend some time having very civil and sociable conversations with each other on the PM. Many of the conversations were involved with him asking questions about my faith but beyond that, a couple of the times he’d ask me about my thoughts on getting old and of ill health. In one such conversation, he basically wanted me to imagine myself 10 or so years from now and in his shoes which, as I wrote him, I cannot do. For one, I can’t see myself in a senior care residence because I’m too independent but the question is, could it happen? Sure but am I planning for a situation that totally places my well being in the hands of someone else? No. But again, it could happen. The second reason why my imagination of an older Bobby seems to be lacking is that I pretty much live for today. Granted, I work out, take a lot of supplements and try to keep my mental acuity in the highest form that I can but in my own way of doing things, it’s what today calls for. Truth is, it’s not that I’m planning on living a long time, it’s because if I DO wake up tomorrow, I want myself to be the same mobile and mentally capable person that I am today….or better. Dunno. Maybe there are a lot of folks out there who have the ability to see themselves in the future but I’m not one of them and to be quite frank, I quit trying to do that a long time ago. There is no way that my 30 year old self could have even come close to imagining today’s Bobby so thinking about an 80 or 90 year old self is going to have to be something akin to a night at the improv. I guess that the only real tangible way I can fully place myself into another oldsters shoes is to face the fact that there are no increases in the number of people older than I (us). Eventually, we’ll be part of the decrease but there’s a difference between being prepared for it and enthusiastically ready for it and to that end, it’s the only thing I truthfully am prepared for but not energetically ready for. It might be of note to mention that this thread was started just about 4 months prior to a total shutdown due to Covid-19.