Checking Around For Cremation Costs

Discussion in 'Money & Finances' started by Joy Martin, Jun 27, 2023.

  1. Mary Robi

    Mary Robi Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2018
    Messages:
    1,553
    Likes Received:
    3,751
    Cremation is my last chance at a smoking hot bod. I have to take my chances.

    I don't really care what happens to my body when I'm gone. I have no illusions that if I were buried, people would flock to my grave to mourn on a regular basis. Just donate me to science or cremate me or dump me at sea. As the songs say, "Fly Me to the Moon" or "Take Me to the River".

    When my maternal grandmother was dying, she told my mother, "I don't care what you do with my body, but DON'T bury me next to your father!". The man never gave her any peace while he was living, so I figure she couldn't see that she'd have any peace resting beside him for eternity. So we had her name and dates chiseled on the double gravestone and then scattered her ashes on the farm and in the graveyard where her parents were buried. I guess a couple hundred miles separation from him would give her rest.

    The boyfriend already has his gravestone set up in the graveyard next to his parents, just waiting for the final dates to be added. It creeps me out majorly seeing that. He's had a few relatives die in the last couple of years and we go up for the funerals. I can't even look at his gravestone. He wavers between an actual burial and just having his ashes interred. That's not my decision to make; that's up to his son to follow his wishes, whatever they may be at the time.
     
    #16
  2. Joy Martin

    Joy Martin Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    May 4, 2019
    Messages:
    4,141
    Likes Received:
    2,214
    My ideal would be for the little family I have left, to sprinkle my remains at the place I spent so much time, the Beach.
     
    #17
  3. Thomas Stillhere

    Thomas Stillhere Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2021
    Messages:
    1,968
    Likes Received:
    3,619
    San Diego has the River running out to the ocean. It stays dry most of the year or at least it was 40 years ago. I remember one particular time all the shopping centers near or around the river were all flooded do to unusual rainfall. There was Dog Beach at that mouth of the river where it dumped and it kept a good amount of water trapped so the city designated it as Dog Beach, totally legal for unleashed dogs to roam swim do what ever they liked. My Mother had a Dodge Motor home and she would drive from Mira Mesa to let her dog an Irish Setter to run and play and have a good time while my Mother just sat there in the motor home and relaxed. That dog could cover a lot of territory and would swim from one side to the other of the river. It was fun to just watch. Now my Brother and I and his best friend would go there and toss horse shoes and drink beer often.

    I have no idea what it looks like today so that gives me a thought to go google earth and take a look. I imagine they managed to squeeze some more high dollar real-estate into that unused area. I am sure they could have run an underground dump allowing the river run off. I never ever believed the Chargers would no longer be in San Diego,nor did I believe Jack Murphy Stadium would become a once well used stadium to what it is today.....nothing ! I watched a lot of great football games in the stadium. Watched Joe Namath play his last career game there. I watched BYU play against SMU, Mustangs went into the locker room half time with a 30 plus to nothing lead and came back out and BYU came from behind to win the game. Can't stop remembering that mess, especially after buying an SMU ball cap and having to take it off to get out of the stadium with our lives.
     
    #18
  4. Hoot Crawford

    Hoot Crawford Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2017
    Messages:
    970
    Likes Received:
    1,544
    I'd like to suggest, especially if you go the cremation route, that you have someone put your information on one of the burial sites. I have put at least a half dozen "memorials" on find a grave dot com for friends and relatives that have been cremated. That way, if an old high school or work buddy is wondering about his/her friend Tom or Jane, they can at least try to find out some information. Obits can be included.

    And of course, you can also create a memorial for those who chose a traditional burial, include a picture of the monument, cemetery info, etc. Your great great grand children will thank you.
     
    #19
  5. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
    Staff Member Senior Staff Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    May 29, 2020
    Messages:
    22,260
    Likes Received:
    31,254
    That reminds me of the unforeseen thing about burying two urns in the same plot. It seems that many (most?) cemeteries have published their directory online. But they understandably only have one record per plot. The plot both of my parents are buried in only lists my father, since he went first in 1975. There is no online record of my mother being buried there. I bet if you went to the cemetery and looked at the hard-copy directory her name might not be there, either.
     
    #20
    Thomas Stillhere likes this.
  6. Ed Wilson

    Ed Wilson Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2019
    Messages:
    1,918
    Likes Received:
    3,330
    Here's an except from a funeral director's response after my inquiry about cremation.

    A) My cost for direct cremation is $2485.00 this price includes the following: 1) the removal from the place of death 2) the cremation itself, 3) The county Permit fee and
    4) a cremation urn (Cremation urn is optional and only necessary for use of burial or if your having a service). This fee does not include service fees, example (a Mass at at church or service at the funeral home or service at a cemetery).

    B) You can scatter cremated remains, but a family member needs to be discreet about it, I do not recommend scattering cremated remains onto of an existing grave because cremated remains have a specific characteristic look and someone from the cemetery will know that that was done.
     
    #21
  7. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2017
    Messages:
    8,747
    Likes Received:
    15,250
    what state do you live in
     
    #22
    Ed Wilson likes this.
  8. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
    Staff Member Senior Staff Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    May 29, 2020
    Messages:
    22,260
    Likes Received:
    31,254
    So? I'm not sure I understand what the issue is with that. Maybe the cemetery is gonna hold you ransom for another plot if you want your loved ones to be together. [edit to add: I now read that cemeteries will allow you to bury the ashes in an existing grave, or "scatter" them as long as they are covered up.]

    I will give the guy points for saying "cremated remains." When my brother was cremated, the guy at the funeral home kept referring to his "cremains." It is a creepy word. It sounds like the person is a non-dairy coffee lightener. Just say "ashes."
     
    #23
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2023
  9. Thomas Stillhere

    Thomas Stillhere Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2021
    Messages:
    1,968
    Likes Received:
    3,619
    Sounds like a very good doorway to identity theft by the thieves in the world now that we are all digitized and categorized to be sold to the highest bidder.
     
    #24
    John Brunner likes this.
  10. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
    Staff Member Senior Staff Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    May 29, 2020
    Messages:
    22,260
    Likes Received:
    31,254
    Heck, there have been corpse scammers around forever. Newspaper obits have been exploited for generations...get 'em while they're fresh.
     
    #25
    Thomas Stillhere likes this.
  11. Thomas Stillhere

    Thomas Stillhere Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2021
    Messages:
    1,968
    Likes Received:
    3,619
    Grave stacking will always occur, there is no way these cemeteries that we are familiar with since we were old enough to know what they were, are indeed stacking without people knowing. You can only plant so many coffins in an acre. It is historical data for the Galveston Cemeteries and actually gives the tier from first burial to the last. I wonder who it was that thought out the laws regarding mandatory burial of a human body, and would said body ever be disturbed or desecrated. Here where I live near Baton Rouge there are old cemeteries that the lids floated away after hurricanes and storms and the bodies were just lying there with no one caring, until a group of people got together and put new tomb lids on top. Once your dead there is no reason for anyone to care I supposed. Another good reason to cremate I guess. I wouldn't want to be laying there staring up at an open roof for everyone to come by and gawk for a while, possibly even looking to take personal items like rings. etc I have no doubt there are grave robbers out there who would rather be a ghoul than a worker. Should that ever happen to my Great Grandfather the robber will be very unhappy, he was buried wearing a Mickey Mouse Wrist Watch that he loved, which my Brother had given to him. To keep it in context he was a young cowboy born in the civil war era who rode on cattle drives and worked in a water powered sawmill. Later he picked cotton to survive. So a Mickey Mouse Watch might seem a bit silly, but to him it was something that just pleased him to look at it. :D
     
    #26
    Mary Stetler and John Brunner like this.
  12. Ed Wilson

    Ed Wilson Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2019
    Messages:
    1,918
    Likes Received:
    3,330
    Pennsylvania
     
    #27
    Hedi Mitchell likes this.
  13. Ron Beforee

    Ron Beforee Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2021
    Messages:
    380
    Likes Received:
    484
    I guess I prefer cremation. My father was cremated,my mother buried. I [as has been said] have no illusions about folks visiting my grave. Hell I have no family , and only one close friend left ... so who would ?

    Most important @ this point really is just making arrangements . Don't know why I keep putting it off ? @ 74, I need to do it all ... cremation, finances ...... belongings .... in the dumpster I suppose ... anyway the whole thing needs tending too.
     
    #28
    Beth Gallagher likes this.
  14. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
    Staff Member Senior Staff Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    24,157
    Likes Received:
    42,038
    I have a firepit in my back yard. That should do the job.
     
    #29
  15. Joy Martin

    Joy Martin Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    May 4, 2019
    Messages:
    4,141
    Likes Received:
    2,214
    Yep, it won't get accomplished on it's own. You die tomorrow and whomever cleans it all out to make room for a new body. They'll looke for any family you may have left to consult with.

    On cleaning things out I started about 15 yrs ago, getting rid of a lifetime of Stuff that is no longer needed or used by yours truly......
     
    #30

Share This Page