Nice to hear that you have such a lovely marriage, but I think there is such a thing as being too dependent on your spouse for all of your entertainment and emotional needs. That you seldom do anything apart is fine for now, but I would worry about what would happen if one of you were suddenly alone. I think it's important to maintain and nurture friendships outside of marriage. I, for one, would not want to be a lonely old widow with no friends if my husband passes away before me. My hubby and I are best friends and we do spend most of our time together, but we both have friends we spend time with on our own. We do have some differences in our interests. For example, I love musical plays. He hates them. So, if I want to go the theatre to see one, I'll go with a friend. He also doesn't fly, so any trips I've taken that involve air travel have been without him. I think it's healthy for a marriage to do things independently sometimes.
Definitely not the way we have our marriage. Neither of us have friends, and, unless there are those that have a great/large interest in rodeo, farming or even ranching, we don't associate with them. Have nothing to do with people who smoke, cuss, overly drink and don't believe in Jesus. IOW, we are extremely choosy of who we make friends with. We just love being together and doing 99% of things together. Fly somewhere without my wife or her without me...........would never/ever happen. I tell people, like a nurse at a hospital, "I'm her husband, bodyguard, driver, Butler, Maid/cook. I go with her to any doctors appointments, and even sit in the exam room with her while her doctor is talking/examining her. Any, and all, vacations, we spend together. Now, this is the way we like our marriage. How others like to have their marriage, is entirely up to them.
Of course. If you're both happy and it works for you, that's good. Everyone's different. My hubby and I are polar opposites to you and your wife. We have friends who do smoke, cuss, sometimes overly drink and are atheists like us. But oh my, we have so much fun! Our lives are filled with the joy of being together and spending time with friends who make us laugh, lift us up when we're down, join us in celebrating our accomplishments and don't hesitate to lend a hand when we need it. We do the same for them. They really do enhance our lives in so many ways and we wouldn't change a thing. Oh, except for the friend I'm currently having issues with. She's the only one who's an ongoing problem. ;-)
I hope you're 100% sure that you're wife is happy with you not ever letting her out of your sight. Going into the exam room with her at the doctor's? That is really over the top, man. Looks to me like you're trying to control her.
Actually, she loves it! And, it doesn't bother the doctor at all. In most marriages and/or relationships, there is a leader and a follower. I've sort of been a "leader" most of my life, in one respect or another. Heck, there has even been a few times when she has gone with me to my VA doctors appointment and been in the exam room with me. Funny, but her older sister will sometimes think I'm controlling her, but my wife has told me "don't worry about, you're not". The sister is extremely independent, was married for years before he died and they had numerous problems. We like the way our marriage is, but she doesn't necessarily. She loves her freedom, but our "freedom" is being together.
Not sure where you get the idea that in "most" marriages there is a leader and a follower. This hasn't been my observation. Maybe relationships are different in your part of the U.S. I've seen a few relationships in which there is a leader, and not surprisingly it's always the man. The wife is passive, overly dependent on him, and he makes all of the important decisions. Not a healthy relationship. Your wife's older sister is right.
Actually, with respect, we don't care what you think or my wife's older sister thinks. What we do know is that we have a great/healthy marriage and love each other tremendously. Now, with that being said, YOU conduct your marriage the way you want to and others, including us, will do the same. Good luck with your friend!
And, I replied to your topic because it sounded like my wife's old friend that we said "goodbye" to and didn't have a problem doing that. Didn't reply to discuss how our marriages are different from yours and ours. Many marriages are different and some couples are extremely happy and others not so much. Just look at Post/Reply #37 from Gary O'Dan.
This may have been the case in the USA in 1950, but not any longer. Most of us are partners in our marriages, not indentured servants. My husband would never presume to enter a doctor's exam room with me; that is beyond creepy.
It's very telling that when you and your wife met, you told her friend that you won't share your wife with her. My husband would never even dream of suggesting that I dump a friend for him. That sir, is controlling. The other issue I have with you, is last night I was checking out various past posts on this forum and came across a discussion about race. You said that you and your wife moved to a predominately white neighbourhood, and you prefer it that way. This is veiled racism, and I can't abide it. With respect, I would prefer that you don't offer me any more advice. Even better, I would prefer to not engage with you at all. I don't like people of your ilk and I'm not interested in anything you have to say.
. I can offer no insight but also have a long-time female friend that is very different from me. Sometimes we have our differences and I get tired of it but realize we have both lost our independence and our friendship is what is keeping us out of semi-assisted living, however, I wouldn't tolerate continual criticism or judgments.