You are right, Brittany, maybe this is what they call soulmate - me and my husband. He is a very understanding person and so generous not only with my family but also with other people. And to give a short backgrounder, he was into a bad marriage that when he separated, I thought he was just taking me in for a rebound. We were colleagues in the office and we became close when he experienced problems with his wife. His wife left for the US and that's when he asked me for a relationship. Although I was not sure of what his intentions were, my love for him prevailed. And fortunately, he turned to be a good person that's why now I realize that all those bad things being told about him were all concoctions of his ex-wife.
Tom, you crack me up! You sound like such a curmudgeon, just like me! I don't always agree with you but, I love your posts!
Oh, I'm well aware that I don't really fit here in terms of many of my views and values, but somebody has to be part of the Awkward Squad. On this subject, what I meant was that I never really saw the point of going to a lot of expense just to make something formal. I met my partner in 1986 and we're still together, so something must be working. We're quite happy this way, but I appreciate that many people prefer the formal route. And, yes, sometime's there is societal pressure, but we have never felt under any obligation.
I was married for some 16 years and then got divorced but never really split up with my wife, so I had a couple of relationships where I wasn't emotionally present, and not until my wife died of cancer in 1996 did I eventually become free to form a real attachment with a partner. I had a couple of short lived relationships and then met Lisa some 14 years ago, and this being a mature loving relationship, works on all levels, and we both feel it's our final one. Because my relationship with Lisa is a long distance one we both have periods of space and freedom to be on our own, which seems to constantly rekindle the newness of it when we meet again at various airports. We are all different of course and some of us need a 24/7 style marriage, others complete freedom to feel single and many other variations on this. I have always been a loner and have no problem being on my own, but I am also quite happy with a partner, but balk at control and jealousy issues.
Jenn, I am a hopeless romantic too, oddly enough. I just get my romantic "fix" by reading Sherlock Holmes and other Gothic stuff. LOL I know how weird that sounds when I read it, but it works for me. I just really like being alone, unless I'm in the mood for friendship. I think the word is CURMUDGEON.
I was married twice. The first marriage lasted for only 8 months. When my husband started to show signs that he could be controlling and physically abusive toward me, I fled. No regrets. I was married to my second husband for 12 years and he was the best husband and father ever. We never argued. We shared tennis together, scuba dived, went skiing, etc. He was very protective and loving. I feel very blessed that I knew love with a good man, even if it was brief due to his untimely death of a heart attack, age 46 (I was 36), during a tennis tournament.
Me, been single all my life. Got engaged once and someone stole him from me. Felt so angry at the time, but eventually I forgave and moved on. Just can't seem to find the right one to marry. As I got into my 30's I felt that I was still young and didn't worry, so much. Then in my 50's I got worried and wondered why didn't I meet my Prince of a gent and knight in shinning armor rolled up in one (too much romantic movies). Then now I'm in my 60's I feel that life is going to be okay whether married or not I'll be okay. Sometimes I fell regretful not bringing children into the world and making my Mom a grandmother, but it passes and I realize maybe life isn't so bad being single. I do worry about the later years, so I exercise, go to regular check-ups and see what I got to improve. Then I read about Senior Citizen resorts, homes and the like so I'm not to worried about growing old and being single any longer. Of course I got this forum to keep me company too. Everyone seems to have different experiences with marriage or being single-guess that's life.