Only women of a certain era will fully appreciate this.... True story. A Michigan woman and her family were vacationing in a small New England town where Paul Newman and his family often visited. One Sunday morning, the woman got up early to take a long walk. After a brisk five-mile hike, she decided to treat herself to a double-dip chocolate ice cream cone. She hopped in the car, drove to the center of the village and went straight to the combination bakery/ice cream parlor. There was only one other patron in the store: Paul Newman, sitting at the counter having a doughnut and coffee. The woman's heart skipped a beat as her eyes made contact with those famous baby-blue eyes. The actor nodded graciously and the star struck woman smiled demurely. Pull yourself together! She chides herself. You're a happily married woman with three children, you're forty-five years old, not a teenager! The clerk filled her order and she took the double-dip chocolate ice cream cone in one hand and her change in the other. Then she went out the door, avoiding even a glance in Paul Newman's direction. When she reached her car, she realized that she had a handful of change but her other hand was empty. Where's my ice cream cone? Did I leave it in the store? Back into the shop she went, expecting to see the cone still in the clerk's hand or in a holder on the counter or something! No ice cream cone was in sight. With that, she happened to look over at Paul Newman. His face broke into his familiar, warm, friendly grin and he said to the woman, "You put it in your purse."
Many years ago, I worked part time in my brother's auto repair shop. His shop dealt directly with other automotive businesses like upholstery & painting. The auto paint shop's owner was a big Russian guy with a heavy accent & we all liked it when he came to our shop to discuss customers' requests. He also complained about some customers who were never happy with his work. One hilarious conversation went like this: "I can't believe how crazy some people are. Deees guy love the color at first, then he complain about the color after I painted his whole car. He say he going to sue me because he's so upset, he can't sleep, he can't eat & he can't make love to his wife!" I tell him: "You know sometin? If you can't make love to your wife, you can call ME....I know exactly what to do to her!"
I was in Walmart using the restroom and just as I closed my stall door, a voice from the next stall said, “Hi! How are you?” Embarrassed... I said, “I’m alright!!" The voice said, "So what are you up to?” I said, “Ummm... Just trying to handle a little private business over here!” Then I hear, “Can I come over?” Annoyed... I said “Excuse me?!?!." Then the voice said, “Listen, I will have to call you back, there’s an idiot in the next stall answering all my questions!"