I am glad that you were able to have a good visit with your nephews, @Frank Sanoica , and it sounds like things went better than you had expected them to go at first when you posted. My "two cents worth" , as far as you interfering in your nephew's life is that when someone is making a mess of their life (in our opinion), that is their business, and we each have the right and the responsibility to make our own choices, and then to live with the consequences of those choices. However, if someone is expecting me to bail them out of the mess that they got their self into, and this happens repeatedly, then I should indeed have a right to either stop bailing that person out of their problems, or to tell them what would be a better choice to make. This is one of those no-win situations usually. The person who keeps getting their life in a bind is not happy if you do not rescue them, but neither are they happy if you do rescue them and then tell them not to do that anymore, and what they should have done instead.
Familial relationships appear to be of interest here, as I truthfully believe most of you folks are genuinely feeling in one's interest and responses to the various dilemmas presented, as well as, of course, those situations depicted which are to be forever cherished. For those reasons, I will add an addendum. Mike, at 65, has had back surgery performed after several years of procrastination, and severe lower back pain. Performed about two years ago, he soon afterward began to experience hip joint pain. He blames the back surgery, during which some sort of metallic plate was screwed to his lower spine, for the newly-appearing hip pain. That has been treated by long-needle inspiration of steroids; his doctor states it is only a matter of time before hip-replacement surgery will be the only way. Meanwhile, Mike remains very active, playing racquetball twice weekly!. He yearns for his beloved basketball, but such play is no longer tolerable. We truly wonder how he plays racquetball, based on the pained expression he wears when we walk our Riverwalk. He is most reluctant when thinking of hip surgery, partly based on my wife's mother's experience (3 hip surgeries, the first "botched"). Dan, at 69, has back trouble and pain, a condition which mustered him out of the Navy, where he had career aspirations after 4 years in the Marines, and has become far less mobile than Mike. An hour on his feet, moving or standing, is the max. Both of these guys retain superior upper-body strength, arms and shoulders like gorillas! My own similar attributes are gone, even though I routinely lifted weights when in m y 20's that neither nephew could have hoped to budge. That one fact alone leads me to fear something drastically foreboding within my body. Routine CBC work has failed to reveal it. Both nephews wrestled in high school, in sports activities; both sustained broken noses, Dan in addition nursed a broken collar bone. Nonetheless, they excelled in their sports. Today, Mike is quite active physically, Dan is a couch potato. Mike's weight closely approaches my own, while Dan's is at least 70 or 80 pounds above ours. I could never have imagined Dan looking this fat, while we were kids growing up. We are all three about the same height. I appreciate your reading my familial diatribe. It means but little to any other than I, obviously. Time to crash, thanks for reading! Frank