Hi Ina! I never met either of my Grandfathers, only knew my Paternal Grandmother. I remember reading the quote: "Grandchildren are like a foreign currency. I think the same could be said for Grandparents.
@John Donovan , @Joe Riley, I do know that my grandchildren love me. I need to be their grandmother, and I need to be who I am, as well live each of my days as if they are my last, because they are. I going to do a bit of traveling to see how much has changed since I last went around this wonderful country.
I think that it's great that you decided to follow through with your intentions without running away from your responsibilities. I think you are very wise.
Ok, now I'm getting a bit ticked. I just got a call from my 32 y/o grandson-son-in-law, and I was TOLD not to go anywhere until he and my granddaughter got here. I asked what was going on, and I was told that my behavior was getting out of hand. Last night, all my house guest, (of which they are two of five), decided to go out to a friend's party. They didn't tell they were going, and the only way I found out was that another friend called to ask for a ride to the same party, and they spent the night there. (With no call to me.) Then a friend of mine came by to drag me out for a bit of fun. But when I called my granddaughter to tell her, all I kept getting was voice mail, and yes I left a message. We went to play Bingo at one of those large Bingo halls. It was a lot of fun, cost me $20, and I'll be doing it more often. So as far as getting out of hand goes, I guess I'm just wayward. What, who me? You got to to kidding me. But no, it seems I have just gone too far. Again, what?... Right now I'm thinking about the fact that they didn't contact me for over a month, until they needed a place to crash until their homes were put back into at least livable condition. Right now I'm trying to hold on to my temper so that I don't tell him just where to put his dominating tendencies.
Your guestroom here is still (and always) available if you want to sneak off for a while and let them learn to deal with it, my Friend..... It is reasonable for them to want to know that you are okay, just like they should have thought to let you know that they were staying overnight. (were you babysitting besides ?) However, you have had more years of being capable of taking care of yourself than they have lived; and you don't need a keeper. I am in total agreement with you ! You would love going to see The Hermitage ! It is up byNashville, and Robin took me there once. We spent an awesome day there together. The mansion and the gardens are just beyond describing ! http://thehermitage.com
I don't oppose your feelings of disappointment with your grandkids for thinking of you as "out-of-character". Maybe, it's just their way of saying "I love you, Grandmaw!" Discuss with them about how you feel and think right now. And seek their support and understanding about your next move to 100- miles north of Houston with your brother and near your friends.
@Ina I. Wonder, times will be a changing as we grow old. I remember my mother usually reprimanding my grandparents on what to do and not what to do. I was in grade school that time and I felt like seeing those old people being treated like me, like a kid. In fairness to my mother, she explained to me that her parents were not fit to travel by themselves. At past 70 years old, that 3-hour bus trip may cause a problem. Besides, they were already poor in hearing and eyesight as well and what would happen if they miss the bus stop in the highway? Those were my mother's words. When my mother reached 70, I understood because I have taken her place and she had taken the place of my grandparents. I would be reprimanding my mother on her frequent roaming. There were times she would leave the house in the morning and be back in the late afternoon with no clear itinerary. So sad but that's part of growing old.
It is a wonderful thing when our children love us enough to try and make sure that we are safe at all times. However, when we have been the mother (and the adult in a parent/child relationship) , then it is extremely difficult for us to have the role reversal occur. My daughter is concerned about my safety and my health, and I know that it is from a place of love that she worries about me. The other side of that , is that I (even at age 70) feel that I can make my own decisions about what I can or can't do. I take into account what is or is not safe for me, or what might be detrimental to my health. I am so very happy to see my friend, Ina, picking up the pieces of her life, and forging ahead in her quest to make a new (and enjoyable ) life for herself. This is indeed a time when many of her obligations have ended, and she is never going to go out and have fun any younger than she is right now. Were I in her position, I believe that I would be doing the same thing as she is .