Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Make Me Laugh' started by Allie Seay, Mar 29, 2015.
“O, the apple butter paddle is all in splinters now,
mother wore it out by ticklin’ me”.
Yeah, TikTok is a Chinese social media thing and most of it is definitely stupid.
I am not on that platform but some of it comes on YouTube and sometimes I find stuff that I like.
It also has the cutest little animal videos and smart kids.
I tell my kids, I don't have alzheimers. I've always been this way-- and I have!
LO< mr too at times.
I ask the kid to hand me something rthen forget the name of what I wanted. They would just look at each other like . Then I'd just say figure it out and hand the darn thing to me. They knew.
A fifteen-year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, “Where did you get that car?”
He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”
“With what money!?” demanded his parents. “We know what a Porsche costs.”
“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”
The parents began to yell even louder. “Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars!?” they asked.
“It was the lady up the street,” said the boy. “Don’t know her name — they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”
“Oh my goodness!” moaned the mother, “she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what’s going on.”
So the boy’s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting flowers. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she has sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
“Well,” she said, "I thought my husband was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn’t intend to come back. This morning I got a phone call from my husband he claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
Writers & politicians have one thing in common: Both prefer short sentences.
I called the incontinence hotline. They asked if I could hold
Children are the leading cause of old age
A retired husband is a wife’s full-time job
One benefit of old age is that your secrets are safe with your friends — they can’t remember them either!
With old age comes wisdom… and discounts!
i have seen some of these before, but i needed a good laugh this morning and I have laughed so hard at these
Americas Dumbest Criminals -- goes to show even some criminals need an education
My friend asks me what the 9th letter of the alphabet was, it was a complete guess, but I was right.
I get it!!!
I like to watch these now and then. Congrats Tony, sometimes they make me have to think.
In this joke we find 3 old gentleman sitting at the nursing home talking about which age is the worse.
The 70 year old claimed that being his age was the worst because he’d stand in front of the toilet for long periods of time just to urinate but alas, just little sprinkles.
The 80 year old said, “that ain’t the worse cause when I want to do #2, I can’t. I’ve eaten bran, taken laxatives and it still takes me an hour or so to go”.
When the 90 year old’s time came to speak, he told the others that they didn’t have any problems at all and that being 90 was the worse.
The 70 year old spoke up and asked, you mean that at 90 you can urinate?
Yup said the nonagenarian. Like a 20 year old and precisely at 6:00 AM.
And ya mean that you can do #2 easily, the 80 year old asked? Absolutely! From 0630-0631 and I’m done.
Well, if you urinate precisely at 0600 and do number 2 at 0630, what can be the problem?
The 90 year old, looking sheepishly at the other two seniors quietly said, “I wake up at 7”.