Just For Laughs

Calgon used to do that for me.

 

I LOVE it!!

 

My friend asked me what the 9th letter of the alphabet was & I had to answer in half a second, so I just guessed.
I was right.

 

There's a new disease out there that causes an uncontrollable urge to tell jokes at airports.
There is no cure. It's terminal.

 

A father built a model of Mt. Everest. His son asked him, "Is it to scale?"
"No," said the father. "It's just to look at."

 

I suggested that my wife embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.

 

At present, the life expectancy of a man is about 76 years and for a woman it’s about 81.
Question: Do I start wearing dresses before or after I transition?

 

Never trust stairs. They're always up to something.

 

I was on a diabetes awareness site. It asked me if I accept cookies.

 

A short parent: "Minimum."

 

What word starts with "E" and ends with "E" and only has one letter in it?
Envelope.