Given the scenario set forth in the opening post, I should clarify one thing. While I most surely did run up and down the stairs in my own parents home, my parents would not have tolerated my doing so at anyone else's home, other than my uncles and aunts who had kids the same age as myself who might also be doing that. Nor did I run in the house at my grandparents' house.
If we were going to run around and expend energy, we were taught to go outside to do it. I grew up in the city, and we played on the street, but these was little day time traffic back then, and we all had backyards, which we sometimes used. There were breakables in the house, and my parents worked too hard for the things they had. They didn't want to hear us being loud, and I don't blame them. I can recall running up/down the stairs, and also sliding down them on my butt and it hurt like hell, so I learned not to do that. We wouldn't have run in, bounced balls in, or yelled in other homes, either, whether family or not. I agree that some children these days don't get the attention they need and deserve, but there are also many who get way too much attention, and are raised too permissively, and it can lead to problems. I think it's up to the individual who owns the home, but if the child is in another home, s/he needs to respect the rules of that home.
I wasn't allowed to run in the house but we ran outside all day anyway. I didn't allow running around with my kids either. We always had big enough yards for that. My daughter also doesn't allow running or any balls thrown inside. My son with the 3 little boys tries to enforce those rules but it's harder there. They are close in age so play together and it can get crazy. There is no reason for them to be running or playing ball inside. They all have every toy and game you can imagine. The one thing that was always an exception were forts. The three little ones love when I'm there and we build a fort to play in.
This reminds me when a niece and her fiance visited us. They are going to get married and they got me as sponsor for their wedding. They already have 2 daughters with them - I think 4 and 3 years old. Those girls were running in and out of the house and when in the kitchen, they would open the fridge, look inside, and then slam the door before going out to the yard. I felt like those girls have converted our home into their private playground because they never seemed to stop. Worse, my niece and her fiance (the father of the girls) were oblivious to the antics of their daughters. When they left, my husband and I agreed that it would be the last time to welcome them to our home.
Not only is it rude, there is a liability issue with kids running around in the house. Especially up and down the stairs they could fall and hurt themselves. I wouldn't permit that, nor should the parents of he child. It is a liability issue, and not proper behaviro at someone else's house.