Many Won't Get This Joke

Discussion in 'Make Me Laugh' started by Hal Pollner, Aug 23, 2018.

  1. Bess Barber

    Bess Barber Veteran Member
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    #61
  2. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    Heh heh! ;)
    Hal
    182 (2).JPG

     
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  3. Al Amoling

    Al Amoling Veteran Member
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    Worth considering...
    I stopped by the Ford dealership yesterday, for a look at the new 2019 F-150 aluminum pickup.
    Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new truck “feel” before they become old.
    The salesperson (a nice looking lady wearing a “RESIST” lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat next to me, describing the truck and all its’ “wonderful” options.
    The seats were of particular interest. She explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed
    cool air to your butt in the in the summer heat.
    Feeling like messing with her, I mentioned that this must be a CONSERVATIVE truck.
    Looking a bit angry, she asked why I thought it was a CONSERVATIVE truck.
    "I explained that if it were a LIBERAL truck, the seats would just blow smoke up your ass year-round!”
    I had to walk back to the dealership but it was worth it...
     
    #63
  4. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    Of course you all know this one, which I have verbally enhanced:

    "A trio of sightless rodents,
    A trio of sightless rodents,
    Observe their method of locomotion,
    Observe their method of locomotion,
    They all pursued the Agrarian's spouse,
    Who removed their spinal extensions with a scullery blade,
    Have you ever observed anything similar in your existence
    As a trio of sightless rodents?"

    Harold.....Now you write one!
     
    #64
  5. Mary Robi

    Mary Robi Veteran Member
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    JACK SPRAT:

    Jack Sprat could consume no adipose material,
    His wife could consume no muscular flesh.
    And so, working as a cooperative effort,
    They completed the task of removing every vestige of organic material from the serving surface, using their oral muscular organs.
     
    #65
  6. Mary Robi

    Mary Robi Veteran Member
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    Coruscate, coruscate tiny ball of flaming gas.

    How I ruminate your very existence.

    At least 4.3 light years above the third planet of the solar system that revolves around the burning ball of gas popularly known as Sol.

    Similar to but not identical to a solid form of the element carbon with its atoms arranged in a crystal structure called diamond cubic, illogically suspended in space.

    Coruscate, coruscate tiny ball of flaming gas.

    How I ruminate your very existence.
     
    #66
  7. Mary Robi

    Mary Robi Veteran Member
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    And there's always:

    I'm a travel-sized tea-brewing vessel, height-challenged and relatively obese.....

    or

    An historic water-crossing edifice in the capitol of England is showing signs of age and poor workmanship.....

    or

    Warble a melody of a former coin of England representing the value of six of a former coin of lesser value,
    a fabric pouch attached to a garment, that contains grains of a forage crop, used to produce a darker bread.

    Using the new math, four units of one combined with two units of ten of a common ebon bird, often mistaken for a raven, encased in a large packet of dough and heated to 350 degrees until fully cooked.
     
    #67
  8. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Supreme Member
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    Bravo All.... :D
     
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  9. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    Ha Ha...good ones!

    "Jack Sprat" and " Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"

    Hal
    1: "I'm a little teacup, short and stout..."

    2: "London Bridge is falling down..."

    3: "Sing a song of Sixpence, a pocket full of Rye..."

    4: "Four and twenty Blackbirds baked in a Pie..."

    Mary...you have ready Wit and a Vocabulary to support it!

    Hal
     
    #69
  10. Mary Robi

    Mary Robi Veteran Member
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    Thank you, Holly and Hal.
     
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  11. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    One...Two, fasten my Oxford.

    Three...Four, secure the Portal.

    Five...Six, gather Small Boards.

    Seven...Eight, arrange them in Parallel.

    Nine...Ten, a large, corpulent Fowl.

    Hal
     
    #71
  12. Mary Robi

    Mary Robi Veteran Member
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    "An elderly Scot belonging to Clan Donald owned the leasehold on an agrarian operation."

    "Half a score of minute mammalian primates belonging to the infraorder Simiiformes propelling themselves off the surface of an object used for the purpose of slumbering."

    "Bleat, bleat ebon quadrupedal ruminant artiodactla, are you in possession of a quantity of lanolin-infused fiber?"
     
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  13. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    "Old MacDonald had a Farm.":D

    "Baa Baa Black Sheep, have you any wool?":)

    Can't get the other one...o_O

    Hal
     
    #73
  14. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    Here's a riddle I made up myself:

    What do you call a Japanese Warlord with a cask of Sake under each arm? (This is witty even if I say so myself, and I believe that only May Robi can solve it!)

    Hal
     
    #74
  15. Nancy Hart

    Nancy Hart Veteran Member
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    "Ten little monkeys jumping on the bed?"
     
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