Lon, some folks don't care about "never know what you are missing". There are those that just don't want to do certain things.
Au contraire, mon ami. I have had massages, before, as I wrote, and I found that I didn't like being touched by women with whom I wasn't going to be intimate with, afterwards. The touching got me in the mood, but, with a stranger, and a professional masseuse, at that, I knew sex was not in the cards. (I would have written, "was not on the table," but then I'd be crossing into Beth's world of cringe-worthy puns!)
I've never had a massage in my whole life (but I always wondered what one would be like). I don't plan on one before I leave here (I don't think they need them in heaven)
Treat yourself to a wonderful experience. Ask for a Full Body 60 minute Swedish Massage. It will cost $60 to $70 or less.
I've been getting offers from Groupon for a "custom massage." The closest I've been to this is when I saw a chiropractor (which was interesting, because they range from violence to some barely touching piezo-electric thingy.)
Lucky you, @Lon Tanner . Massage is wonderfully therapeutic. I've gone through several years of monthly massages, and tried many different modalities -- Swedish, deep tissue, rolfing, trigger point, lymph drainage, even Thai and tui na. Thai massage is more like a cross between physical therapy and someone putting you in yoga positions. It was a massage therapist who diagnosed me with Thorasic Outlet Syndrome -- which produced a weird pain in my arm that was so bad it disrupted sleep, and massages twice a week for about a month eliminated it. Definitely a believer in good massage.
I wouldn't want my wife to get a message, unless I was in the room to watch it, and she feels the same way. I am her: maid, cook, driver and bodyguard.
I get a massage about monthly. Both my wife and I go to the same independent practitioner. I was introduced to it at the chiropractor's office and quickly learned that the massage did more good for me than the chiro manipulation. Before I broke my back, chiropractors told me that working on my back was like working on a board. I found that even 30 minutes of massage would allow the chiro to manipulate things, but I found that most of my issues were muscular, not chiropractic, so I gave up the chiropractor and just get massage. It is cheaper, more enjoyable, and more helpful.