A friend of my brother's committed suicide at the Vietnam Memorial in 1984. He was a sweet and quiet young man who volunteered and joined the Army in 1967 or '68. He earned a Bronze Star in Vietnam, returned home and was never the same again. He was a plainclothes detective in Washington DC. His name was Jeff Davis. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news...ay-vietnam-vet-suicide-haunts-family/1693443/
Having lived in the DC area when this tragedy occurred, I recall the story. Not all those who died from war died in war. Many more died inside yet continued to exist.
I would venture to write that most combat veterans never totally come home. Part of them, sometimes us, are still fighting the same battles over and over again. It is indeed a bit of insanity to do the same things over and over again expecting a different result. With that, there’s a very almost “spiritual” bond between soldiers and one wonders every now and then how we came home alive whilst others we knew came home lying still. Some even seek forgiveness for doing so.....
Survival guilt is such a powerful human emotion. I can't imagine not feeling that way...and it happens in lots of life situations, not just on the literal battlefield. Friggin' empathy turned inward in a destructive way. Not having even been in the service, much less combat, I can only imagine having gone through those experiences and returning to "normal life." I already have an unhealthy level of disdain for my fellow human. To come home from a war, to have lost friends and seen unspeakable things, and then be subject to people who have everything yet whine as though they have nothing would make me do things I won't discuss here. While this day is meant to honor those who dies on the battlefield in a corporeal sense, there's nothing to stop us from remembering those who died emotionally as well.