@Von Jones I am posting this here so the Pelosi pigs blood thread doesn't get derailed by one such as myself. @Silvia Benoit My OCD gets bothered when anyone moves or even slightly adjusts my treasures (even if they came from the dumpster) let alone my chosen thread for my literary genius. I wanted to share this story from 25 years ago. I was puttering in my front yard one warm summer morning when I saw an old neighbor guy taking a package over to another neighbor lady (delivered to his house by mistake). He was right at her steps when her yapping little dachshund leaped out and bite the old man in the crotch. His teeth got stuck in the old man's fly and the old guy threw the package at the lady and started pulling on the dog trying to get him loose. Finally, he pries the dog's jaw open and gets him off. He tosses the dog on the porch and takes off back to his house. So the lady took her dog to the vet to be examined for damage and none was found. The old man didn't report the attack since no skin was broken or so he said. State law says if a dog bite breaks the skin, it must be reported. I thought at that point it was over. I was wrong! I was summoned to Municipal Court. The lady was suing the old man for vet bills, damaging her packaged blouse, and emotional damages. I was the only eye witness. I took my civic duties seriously and even dressed up in a dress skirt and jacket. Donned a pair of 20-year-old heels that had only been worn once that looked classy with my dark opaque hose that hid my battle wounds from a hurried leg shaving. Fresh haircut and styling, eye makeup with a light blue shadow (blue was the thing back then) and I was ready to testify. I took the stand and the young attorney for the woman thought he was Perry Mason. The judge was rolling his eyes in disbelief. I could see the people in the courtroom smiling. It was probably his first case. He grilled me on every detail like where the dog bite the man, how the old man reacted, and then he stepped back taking a stance, and asked, "Can you please tell us what breed of dog it was?" "Well," I said calmly, "I am no expert on dog breeds, but judging from the dog's actions, I am going out on a limb and guessing it was a Weiner dog." Well, the courtroom erupted with laughter and the judge buried his head in his hands to hide his laughter and his court recorder started laughing with a contagious laugh that got me laughing so hard I could hardly walk off the stand. The judge slammed his gavel and dismissed the case and adjourned court for 15 minutes. Later I saw the judge and his wife out walking, I knew them both and I asked him why he even let that nonsense be tried and he said he was just trying to help the young lawyer get started and when he saw I was the only eye witness his morbid curiosity what I would say got the best of him. "That was your best comedy act ever and I got paid to attend it. Sure beats a $10 door fee and buying overpriced drinks," He chuckled. His wife voiced she was miffed that she missed it and next time I have an act like that planned, let her know. I assured her there was no planning and I had no intention of being a comedian, it just came out without thought. "This kind of poo just seems to fall out of my mouth," I said.
Yesterday a lady grabs my arm in the Grocery store. "How have you been honey, it has been such a long time." I answered, "I am fine but I don't recognize you." She said, "Oh dear you are not who I thought you were with the mask and everything." I said, "No problem, with the mask people mistake me for Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top all the time." The nearby clerk starts laughing.
The same -or similar- just happened to me. A neighbor said "Thank God for your accent. I wouldn't recognize you because the mask."
Does no one want to banter anymore? Have everyone lost their sense of humor? Maybe I should apologize for playing too rough. I try to be gentle, but after 40 years of being a cowgirl and a mountain woman, I sometimes forget myself. I have never become too cityfied as 30 years living on the edge of town it is still an easy walk to the countryside.
I weighed myself today and I didn't gain any weight over the holidays, yeah. I ate plenty and slept a lot. There's not too much else to do with it being cold and this virus going around I don't go thrifting.
I did gain some weight but lost it weighing in this morning. It isn't that a few extra pounds would hurt me, it is just it goes to my waist. I can imagine you really miss thrifting. I have other things I could do but I lack the motivation and I don't need anything more. I usually plan projects for the next year on New Years', but not this year. I got out the sewing machine and some awesome material I have salvaged off clothes that people gave away and I was going to make something. After sitting on the table for a couple of days and my mind still blank, I put it away. I wish I loved quilting like my mother. I still have quilts she made that will last longer than I. I go for my walks and do the necessary shopping and that is it. I sure hope things turn around by yard sale time as my garage shelves are full of treasures that once had value, but now I will be lucky to yard sell them.
Excuse me but the guy down the hall said the not-so-miscellaneous bantering section was around here and all I could find is this room, the miscellaneous bantering section. I’m supposed to meet someone for tea but the poor gentleman is under doctor’s orders and can’t have miscellaneous any longer